“What do you want from me?” she yells, her anger rising as easily as mine does.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No,” she snaps.
“Everything.”
She lifts her right arm. “You want me to bleed for you? You want me to go to jail for you? You want me to fucking kill for you? Jesus, Cole.”
“I want all of those things. And more,” I say with a nod, and her eyes narrow on me like I’m playing some sick game. She’s not wrong. “Don’t you see, Austin? I’m that guy who wants to take everything from you. I want to destroy you. I want to hurt you.”
“You already have,” she says through gritted teeth.
I smile. She’s referring to her stitches from where I cut her. I could make her bleed to death for me without a fucking knife. “You have no idea what I can do to you. You have no idea what I’m capable of. I could make you nothing.”
I flinch at that memory, and my hands fist down by my sides. Fuck, I gotta get out of here!
I enter her walk-in closet and go to the back. On our way here, Deke had sent me a text to let me know Austin had hidden her recordings in a knee-high boot. Not sure what would make her think the cops would go through her shoes, but here I am, doing as she asked. I pick it up and tip it upside down. The USB drive falls into my hand, and I wrap my fingers around it.
I stand and grab her laptop off a shelf above where her jeans hang and then walk over to her bed. Sitting down, I push the power button.
“She doesn’t have any luggage.” Becky sighs, coming out of the closet.
“Her suitcase is at the clubhouse.” Before we broke up the morning after prom, she was spending a lot of time with me there. She left it, and I never offered to give it back to her.
She huffs and runs a hand through her blond hair. “I’m gonna go downstairs and grab some trash bags then.” She bites her bottom lip nervously before she leaves the room. I also notice that she doesn’t shut the bedroom door when she leaves.
I look back down at the laptop and notice it’s not on. I press the button again. Nothing!
The fucker is dead.
“Hmm,” I mumble to myself. Where would her charger be? I look over to my right and open her nightstand. I don’t see a charging cable, but I do find something else I want. It’s a black and white notebook with two words written on the cover in Austin’s pretty handwriting. Fuck off!
I pick it up, forgetting about the laptop for a second, and open it.
I lied to Cole today.
Those are the first words I see written on the random page I turn to, and my brows shoot up. It’s a diary? A journal of some sort.
Not like it matters. He’s never been truthful to me. Or anyone else. He asked me if I still spoke to Martin. I said yes. The truth is I haven’t heard a single word from him. I shouldn’t care. I didn’t love him. He was more of a distraction. He would come pick me up, take me to a party somewhere, and we’d get high, and … I’m not sure what you would call it. We didn’t make love, and we sure as hell didn’t fuck like Cole and me.
I smile at that, then it drops off my face when I read the next line.
I hate Cole! Hated him! I don’t know anymore. I’m confused. He has blackmailed me! Used me! Made me bleed. But I can’t help but want him. Maybe it’s not him per se. Maybe it’s the way he makes me feel. If that even makes sense.
When I was with Martin, I never felt butterflies in my stomach or giddy. I never had that oh my God, I’m head-over-heels in love feeling. I don’t have it with Cole either. Thank God. Instead, I feel like I’m on fire. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. He touches me, and I can’t breathe. He takes all my air away. When he places his lips on my skin, I swear they burn me. I’m screaming for help, for someone to throw me in a lake and put out the flames, but no one can hear me. No one even sees me. He says he wants everyone to know that I’m his. But maybe that too is a lie ’cause no one is listening to my cries for help
And I hate how much I like it. Crave it. My ex treated me like glass. Cole treats me like I’m unbreakable. Always pushing me and waiting for me to call mercy. It won’t happen. I’ll let the fire burn me alive before I admit defeat. And that’s what scares me the most. I’d rather burn in hell with the devil than freeze to death.