I want to tell him how I feel. The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. But I’m afraid, so I show him what I can’t say. I rock my hips back and forth while I place soft kisses along his chest, worshipping his body.
He thrusts into me slowly, gently. Nothing like the sex we had at the office today. It’s sweet and tender. He takes his time, making sure my needs are met before he finds his own release. And then he rolls me to my side, wrapping his arms around me as we both fall asleep.
Chapter Eight
Victoria
I wake to blazing heat, a thick cloud of smoke all around me. The temperature is overwhelming, and my skin feels as though it’s melting right off my body. I try to sit up, but my head protests and my vision blurs. I put my hand in my hair and feel blood. So much blood. I scream out for someone to rescue me. But there is nobody. I’m alone, more alone than I’ve ever felt, and I realize I have to get myself out. But as I crawl, my lungs fill with acidic smoke. I feel as if I’m suffocating….
“Victoria!”
Screams in the distance. Are they coming to rescue me? I still as the fire rages behind me, engulfing everything I’ve ever known along with it.
“Victoria, wake up dammit!” I kick in protest. Someone is dragging me back into the fire.
Shaking. My body is shaking. My eyes fly open and I gasp for air. Gabriel is standing above me, angry. It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare...
“What the fuck was that?” he growls.
I shake my head. “Not now, Gabriel. Please.”
Anger flashes through his eyes, and he takes a calming breath before speaking again.
“Victoria, I’m worried about you… I’ve never seen anything like that. Please tell me what that was about. I can’t stand that you’re hiding all these secrets from me.”
I curl my head into my knees and take a breath. He’s right, it isn’t fair to him. But I’ve been doing it for so long, I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to pick and choose what to tell him. And I don’t really trust myself not to break down and confess everything like I almost did tonight. But I know that if we continue on like this, he will resent me for it.
“Sit down, please.” I pat the space on the bed next to me.
Gabriel does as I ask, rubbing his hand along my back for reassurance as I steady my breath. “When I was sixteen, I almost died in a house fire. My childhood home burned to the ground, and I barely made it out in time. I have nightmares about it sometimes, and I’m sorry that you had to see it.”
He takes a deep breath, watching me carefully. “Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t exactly know, I was unconscious when the fire started.”
It isn’t really a lie, I was actually unconscious. I still have no idea how Eleanore started the fire.
Gabriel narrows his eyes, not buying my words for a second. “In other words, you mean you know, but you won’t tell me any more.”
He’s clearly frustrated with me, and I hate myself for it. “Gabriel, I’m sorry. There are just some things I can’t tell you. It’s not because I don’t want to, you have to believe that. It’s for your own protection. It’s just not safe for me to tell anybody.”
His jaw tenses, and I close my eyes waiting for him to erupt. I’m sure this is going to be it. He couldn’t possibly want to be with me when I refuse to tell him the truth. But after a moment his hands are on my face again, gently cupping my chin.
“Look at me,” he whispers.
I open my eyes and his face relaxes, along with my own.
“Look, Victoria, I don’t know what happened in your past, but I want to. I can see you aren’t ready to tell me yet, and I don’t like it, but I accept it for now. I just hope that someday soon you’ll realize you can trust me.”
“I do trust you.” My voice cracks as I shake my head. “Please don’t think that I don’t.”
“Shhh, baby.” He pulls me back down onto his chest. “Let’s go to sleep now and only have good dreams okay?”
***
The next morning, Gabriel’s spot on the bed is empty. I roll over and feel a sharp sting of pain on my arm. When I look down, I find the bruises have worsened while I slept. So much for trying to forget the events of last night.