“It means, Gaeton, that you’re thinking too hard and your emotions are getting the best of you. Enjoy this time we have.”
As if it’s that simple. I turn to face him. He looks just like he always does, cool and calm and collected and far too beautiful to be real. I’ll never tell him as much, but his scars make him more human, more grounded in reality with the rest of us. They aren’t flaws. They’re proof that he’s not some otherworldly being with perfect control who is above making mistakes.
“How did you get your scars?” I blurt out the question before I can think better of it.
He doesn’t seem to breathe for a second. “Some of them are from the reality of a life like ours. You have scars too.”
“Not like yours.”
“No, not like mine.” He holds my gaze. “I made a mistake and paid the price.”
It means everything and nothing. For all his reputation, Beast is human and humans make mistakes. I’ve just never heard him admit as much. “So you can make mistakes.” I knew that. Of course I knew that. But, aside from my personal feelings, the man has been above reproach when it comes how he operates as a general. He’s fearless and bold and his mind makes jumps that I don’t always understand but that always, always seem to be the right calls.
He’s even saved my life a time or two, though neither of us have ever spoken about it.
“Yeah, I can make mistakes.” His eyes go icy. “I lost the person I cared about once, Gaeton. I’ll do anything to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Fucking anything.”
I can understand that, even if it makes some part of me heavier in response. I should have known that Beast wouldn’t let something as mundane as lust get him twisted. He wants me. He wouldn’t have proposed we muddy the waters by fucking if he didn’t. But it’s obvious that’s all it is for him. Fucking.
No reason for that to disappoint me. The last thing this situation needs is further complications. It’s smart as shit to lock my heart away until I know how things will fall out.
Too bad I was never as good at protecting myself as I am at protecting others.
I turn back to face the doors. My voice sounds rougher than I intend it when I finally manage to speak. “I get it. We both want her. That’s why we’re doing this.” It’s what we agreed on to begin with, so I don’t know why it stings to say it aloud. “Don’t think I’ll make it easy on you, Beast. She’ll get both our A-games right up until she makes a choice.”
“Mmm.” The noise he makes means absolutely nothing to me. Apparently he’s not in the mood to elaborate, because the second the doors open, he steps out and leaves me to follow in his wake.
The first thing I notice upon entering my apartment is the faint scent of garlic and marinara that permeates the space. Someone’s been cooking. Then my attention lands on where Tink has set up shop at the table. She’s packing up her sewing machine and doesn’t bother to look over as we walk in. She’s pissed, and part of me feels bad about it, but not enough to change our plans. Beast’s right. We have to see it through to the end.
Hook pulls something out of the oven and sets it on the stove. He glances at me and gives a faint smile. “Figured you three could do with the calories.”
Tink finishes fastening the sewing case and marches over to me. I brace for anything from a sharp word to a punch, but she just pulls me into a hug. She’s so short, she barely reaches my chest, but I let myself enjoy the comfort for a few seconds before she lets go. Tink looks up at me, her expression fierce. “You are fucking up. I don’t care what you decide when it comes to her and Beast, but don’t you dare hurt yourself to make them happy.” She glances at Beast. “The same goes for you, asshole.”
He gives that shrug that means everything and nothing and starts unloading the bags on the coffee table. “We’ve got it covered.”
“No, you don’t.” She shakes her head. “But you aren’t going to listen to me.”
“We have it covered,” I say softly.
Tink gives me one last squeeze and steps back. “You are my friend, and I care about you, but if you don’t figure this out, it’s going to rip you to pieces.”
“Tink,” Hook sinks enough warning in her name that her eyes flash in response. He moves to secure her stuff on the wardrobe rack and pushes it toward the elevator. Hook pauses in front of me. “Be careful.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I appreciate their concern, but I’ve gone too far to turn back now. One way or another, we’re seeing this through to the end. “Thanks for the help.”