I hear her behind me, her footsteps as familiar as my own. “I used to read this book to my son every night. He was too young to understand, but it calmed him.”
Meg stops. “You never told me about them.” She can’t quite keep the accusation out of her voice.
“It still hurts to talk about them. It’s easier to force forgetfulness.”
She takes another step, moving around the desk to stand at my shoulder. “But you didn’t really forget them, Hades. Not if you’ve been spinning out this plan for revenge.”
She’s not wrong. “Would you believe that I wanted to spare us both pain?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t make it right.” She wraps her arms around herself. “Don’t you think the time for that has long since passed?”
I shift to include her in this painful walk down memory lane. Meg moves until her arm presses against mine. I tilt the book. “This is one of the few pictures I have of them. The others were lost.” I mourned that loss for a long time, but perhaps it’s for the best. Better to let their ghosts rest, to let the memory fade. It doesn’t cease to cause pain, but it’s not a constant low hum in the back of my mind.
“May I?”
I hand her the picture. As she studies the photo, I study her face. What does she see? A pretty young blond woman with a baby boy in her arms. They’re wearing white, which only adds to the surreal nature of the entire thing. Meg finally looks at me, her blue eyes shining. “They’re beautiful.”
“They were, yes.”
She carefully passes back the picture, and I replace it inside the book. Meg is obviously working up to something, so I slide the book back into the shelf and give her a moment to find her voice. This is a conversation we should have had long ago, and it’s only my reluctance to open old wounds that delayed it. A mistake. I see that now.
Finally, she sighs. “You told me you didn’t want kids.”
“I don’t.”
“Hades, look at me.”
I turn to face her. Meg’s dressed in the same robe she wore for the trip from Hercules’s bedroom to mine. Another time, I would take that as a clear invitation. Not this morning.
She’s right. This subject deserves my full attention. She deserves my full attention. Instinct demands I turn this topic, avoid this old pain. I ignore it. “When I was young, I thought I was invincible. I married Amber in a whirlwind romance because it seemed the most natural thing in the world, and she was pregnant within a few months.” I lift my hands, but let them fall without touching her. “I was a different man before Zeus killed them. I wanted different things. When I crawled out of the pit their deaths put me in, I promised myself I wouldn’t repeat the same mistake. No innocents to depend on me. Especially no children.” I finally meet her gaze and she’s looking at me with her battered heart in her eyes. “I didn’t lie, Meg. I withheld the reasons I felt the way I did, but I didn’t lie.”
“You should have told me,” she whispers.
“I see that now.” I’m not used to making missteps. Not on this scale. “I’m sorry, love. It still hurts at times, and in my attempt to avoid that pain, I didn’t think about the harm it would cause you.”
She leans against my desk and crosses her arms over her chest. “Hades… your plan sucks. It will piss Zeus off knowing that you have his son, but from all you and Hercules have said, you’re out of your mind if you think he won’t retaliate.”
“I have it covered.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “No, we’re not doing that again. If you meant what you said last night, then you’re going to loop me and Hercules in on the plan, and we’re going to discuss it. We can play submissive at your feet when we actually play, but this is too serious for you to try to shield us. We made our choice. We’re in this with you, for better or worse.”
There’s no point in arguing. I cannot effectively protect them if they actively fight against the precautions I put into place. The only way to ensure they work with me is to include them in the conversation. No matter how much I’d like to shield them. I finally nod. “I’ll arrange a meeting with Allecto to go over things this afternoon before the club opens.”
“Thank you.”
We stare at each other for a long moment before I sigh. “I’ve made a mess of this.”
“We both have.” She pushes off the desk and steps into my arms. “We just need a little course correcting.” Meg gives a faint laugh. “A lot of course correcting.”
I think of the man we left in my bed and can’t help the wry smile that pulls at my lips. “Somehow, I think Hercules will single-handedly bully us back onto the path.”