Kendall made a face. Guess that made her a fly. It wasn’t the most flattering comparison, but how else to explain her fascination with the man? She dragged her fingers through her hair and tried to focus as she and Grace headed back toward their cabins. She was being a bad friend by thinking of herself while Grace was in crisis mode. At least Grace seemed calmer now that they were done shopping, more settled on the idea of not replacing her pants.
She had barely closed the door to her cabin when her gaze landed on the bed. On what she’d done there while thinking about him. Kendall’s body gave a pulse and she shivered. She had no business wanting this man, especially considering how she’d freaked out on him in the gym. He wouldn’t want her anymore.
She took a deep breath. Yes, that’s exactly right. Better to focus on that than on her confusing impulses around Alex. She just needed to deal with this trip and the rest would figure itself out.
Feeling settled for the first time since yesterday, she changed into her swimsuit and pulled on her floral cover-up. A quick stop by the others’ cabins let them know where to find her. Then she went up to the pool deck and staked out a few chairs. Not the most difficult thing to do. Even at mid-morning, the place was mostly deserted. If she was a betting woman, she’d bet that most of the people took advantage of the party part of the party cruise last night and were sleeping it off.
Just as well.
Kendall lathered herself up with sunscreen and pulled her floppy hat out of her tote bag. Holding it in her hands made her chest pang. Her grandmother had one just like it when Kendall was growing up. Whenever the stress of life—and raising her three granddaughters—got to her, she’d throw on her silly floppy hat and go spend time in the garden. When Kendall was old enough to understand that her grandmother didn’t want conversation during those times, she was allowed to work beside her. When she pictured peace, she pictured the warmth of those days, the coarse dirt against her fingertips, and the joy of seeing plants she’d cultivated growing enough to bear fruit and vegetables.
Her little kitchen garden in New York wasn’t the same thing at all.
God, she missed her grandmother. Had been missing her every day in the years since she’d passed. She just knew if Gram were still alive, she’d have words of wisdom that would help Kendall make sense of where her life had gotten so messed up. Maybe she’d even be able to pinpoint the exact moment Kendall zigged when she should have zagged. Maybe she’d even have advice on how to get back on the right path.
Except Kendall didn’t know what the right path was. Not anymore.
She could call Gretchen. Her older sister was full of sage wisdom, even if she was only a few years older than Kendall. She didn’t exactly resent her sister for living a charmed life—marrying her high school sweetheart, being totally happy in the small town they grew up in, beloved by most people she came across. It just wasn’t Kendall’s path. She’d mostly made her peace with that over the years, but it meant Gretchen’s advice came with a big dose of salt. They were different people who wanted different things, and sometimes her big sister forgot that.
She plopped the hat on her head and sank onto the lounge chair. Figuring out her life would have to wait. Right now, she had some intense relaxing to do. The others would hopefully show up later, but right now she could let her guard down a little and sink into a good book. Kendall adjusted her sunglasses and pulled her e-reader from the tote bag. She’d gone on a book-buying binge before leaving for the trip, so she had approximately twenty romance novels waiting and nothing but time for reading in her future. This might not be the perfect vacation she’d planned, but she was determined for the rest of it to go off without a hitch.
Surely that wasn’t too much to ask? Yes, there were two people who appeared to be having sex on a lounge chair on the other side of the deck, but she didn’t have to look at them. Or listen.
Oh god, this was a nightmare.
Chapter 4
Alex wandered the ship for hours. It really was a floating city, and maybe if he was at a different point in his life, he’d be more impressed. As it was, he couldn’t quite distract himself from worrying about the bar back home. Not even knowing how disappointed Pop would be was enough to snap him out of it.
Pop’s intentions were good. They always had been. But he and Alex were just different people. Pop might be content to hand his pride and joy off to another person, even if it was Alex, but Alex couldn’t stand the thought of everything that would inevitably go wrong without him present. Cherry was good at her job—he wouldn’t have hired her if she wasn’t—but she wasn’t Alex.