No Tomorrow

For a moment, she looks as if she’s gone into shock. She’s just sitting there staring at me, unblinking, with her mouth partially open. Eventually, she shakes her head a little and runs her hand through her hair. “Fuck. I seriously don’t even know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. I don’t want you to.”

“Do you parents know?”

“Are you kidding? Of course not. You know how they are. They’d lock me down here and never let me back out.”

“True. It’s just… you’re so beautiful. You’re smart and sweet, and you have a good job. You don’t have to settle for someone like that—”

“Settle?” Anger rises in me. “I’m not settling. I want to be with him.”

“I’m not trying to make you mad. I’m just trying to understand. Cut me a little slack, okay? This wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m tired.”

“You’re not getting rid of me. We’re talking about this whether you like it or not.”

“You’ll never understand.”

“Maybe not, but I’m trying to. Where exactly does he live?”

Letting out a deep, frustrated breath, I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms round my legs. “When I first met him, he was sleeping under an old bridge in the park. He walks around and plays guitar during the day, and on some nights, he plays in bars for money, like the night we ran into him. But now he’s sleeping in a shed in the backyard of an old abandoned house. It’s on a dead-end street. No one is ever down there. It’s safe.”

“A shed? So where do you guys hang out? Where are you having sex? Are you paying for sleazy hotel rooms? You could get fleas, Piper. Or bedbugs. You have massive OCD and germ issues, and you’re fucking in cheap hotels?”

“No. We hang out in the shed. He has a sleeping bag. It’s not really dirty at all. He cleaned it.”

“You’re fucking in a shed?” she practically yells.

“Stop it!” I hiss. “First of all, we’re not fucking. We love each other. You’re making it sound dirty, and it’s not.”

“Well, it sounds sleazy. Can’t you at least bring him here?”

“No. My parents would be all over it and ask a thousand questions. Plus, he has a dog. I can’t bring a dog in here. Archie would be petrified.”

“Does the dog sleep in the shed, too?”

“Yes. He’s a really nice dog. He’s calm and well behaved, and he’s always clean. They both are.”

“Piper, I seriously don’t even know what to say at this point. This is way worse than what I was thinking.”

“Why? Why is it worse? He’s a nice guy. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“No, it isn’t! You’re only twenty-one! You should be going on dates and having sex in a real bed in some guy’s apartment. Not in a fucking shed on a dead-end street! I care about you, you idiot. And this is all sorts of fucked up. Even I wouldn’t do something like this, and I’m the crazy one here!”

“You’re not crazy. You’re just experimental.”

Leaning back against the pillows next to me, she covers her face with her hands. “You’re going to make me cry. See what you do? You see the good in everyone.”

“Why is that bad?”

“It’s not. It’s wonderful. It’s why you’re the best friend in the whole world, and it’s probably why this homeless Blue guy loves the shit out of you.” She leans on her side to study me. “He does love you, right?”

“I’m pretty sure he does.”

“I just don’t want you to be used. You’re not supporting him, right?”

“No. Not at all. Sometimes I pay for things, but he does, too. It bothers him when I try to pay.”

“Good. Let him pay if he can.”

“Don’t tell anyone about me and him, Dee. I’ll tell my family when I’m ready.”

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Who would believe me, anyway? Are you going to keep seeing him? Do you think this is serious?”

“Yes, I’m going to keep seeing him.” I pet Archie, who’s decided to plant himself between us. “I just don’t really know what the future holds, and that’s what scares me.”

“What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t stay anywhere very long. He goes from place to place and only stays a few months before he goes on to the next place he wants to see.”

“You don’t think he’ll stay here now that he’s involved with you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve hinted at wanting him to stay, but he gets really skittish and vague. I think he’s afraid of commitment. Not sexual commitment, but commitment to plans and future.”

“Like a job and a house and being an adult?”

“Exactly. He seems to just want to wander around and play guitar.”

“Oh my God. This has heartbreak and years of emotional trauma and therapy written all over it. Are you okay with that? Falling in love with him and then being dumped so he can trek around?”