No Tomorrow

“Fuck….” His hands tighten in my hair and he yanks my skull back to him, sinking deep into my mouth as he comes with thrusting hips and deep, growling groans that make my insides quiver. Sucking him harder, I milk every bit out of him until his hands are limp on my head and he pulls away to drop to his knees in front of me.

“You destroy me, babe. Come here.” He pulls me into his arms, kissing me even though I just had a mouthful of his cock and cum.

“Merry Christmas.”

“That was beyond fuckin’ merry.” Pulling my sweater up with one hand, he rips off my bra with the other and scatters kisses and random bite marks over my upper body as he takes off the rest of my clothes.

Breathless, we fall onto the bed together, pulling the blanket over us, and he moves between my open legs to lick me until I’m in a multiple-orgasmic daze, barely able to form coherent thoughts. Kissing me softly, he wraps me up in his arms and sings to me as I fall asleep, and just when I didn’t think I could fall any harder for him, I do.

For my week stay-cation from work, I’ve been spending my time checking out apartments and hanging out with Blue as much as possible. If it’s not too cold for his fingers, he still plays at the park on most afternoons. Twice this week, he played at the bar, and I loved listening to him actually sing and play guitar live and watching him move around so confidently on the stage. Judging from the reaction from the other people in the bar, they loved him, too.

Despite my mother’s mounting disapproval, I’ve stayed with Evan overnight several times this week—only going home to shower, change, and take care of Archie. Blue’s been in a great mood, and I feel as though we’re in a good place together. We’re moving forward slowly but surely. He didn’t take me up on my invitation to accompany me to look at apartments, so I left it alone to avoid pushing him into a bad mood again. My hope is once I move into my own place, I can slowly coax him into shorts visits, which will hopefully lead to him agreeing to move in. Surely he’d much rather live in a nice apartment with me than in the shed.

Today, after much inner debate, I took the leap and put down a deposit on the apartment I like most. It’s half a duplex, which is like two small houses stuck together. I like that better than an apartment building because it feels more like a home to me. It’s perfect, with two bedrooms, lots of windows, a small galley kitchen, large living room, and bathroom. As a bonus, it’s pet friendly and has a small fenced-in yard. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t envision Acorn running around that yard, chasing a ball someday.

To celebrate, I meet Ditra for dinner, and we talk about guys and work and decorating ideas for my new place. Ditra loves to paint and she knows how to do faux painting for accent walls, so I’m excited to really make the place my own. We make plans to meet up next week for our dinner ritual and shopping. I’m glad we’re back on track and she’s forgiven me for becoming a temporary hermit while I got my head together. I’m thankful she’s not the type of friend to hold a grudge.

After dinner with Ditra, I drive across town to see Blue, and I tell him excitedly about the apartment as we sit on the bed together. I take Ditra’s advice to not push him to help me move, or to come over or to stay the night or move in. She thinks he has a fear of commitment and needs things to go at his own pace and be “his” idea. I agree.

“You look happy,” he says when I finally stop babbling on about my new closet space and the quiet street I’ll live on.

“I am. I’ve wanted my own place for such a long time.”

“You deserve it. I loved my first place. It was kind of a shit hole, but it was cool.”

“Was that in Jersey?”

“Yeah. I lived with my buddy, Reece. He’s probably still there.”

This is the first he’s ever mentioned any of his friends and I make a mental note to remember his name in case he brings him up again. “What did you like most about it? Having your own place…”

Head cocked to the side, he thinks about his answer. “I guess being able to just chill and be me. Living in a space that’s a reflection of me instead of trying to be comfortable in someone else’s space.”

“I know what you mean. My parents have lived in our house since they got married. You want to hear what drives me crazy?”