No Tomorrow

How does he somehow manage to say the right things?

“I really wish I could hug you right now,” I whisper.

He’s quiet on the other end, and I worry I’ve said too much and wrecked his good mood. But then he answers. “Maybe we can work on arranging that. I can’t promise I’ll let you go, though.”

God, I’m in trouble. He’s bulldozing his way right back into my heart again.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I feel like someone injected a rainbow up my butt. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so happy, so hopeful, and so excited for each new day to start. I’ve started going to the park again, because now I can think about Blue, and I can visit our memories without falling apart. I can smile at the ghosts of our past that still linger under the old bridge, and not run away from them.

Four weeks of talking on the phone for hours every night coupled with pages of heartfelt emails has changed us. We’ve rebuilt our friendship, and are creeping toward more. I won’t jinx it by putting a label on what we are.

We video chat on the weekends, and he plays guitar and sings for me—all shirtless and sexy and swoony and I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. One night after Lyric went to bed I put Acorn in front of the web cam so Blue could see him, and he started to cry. When Acorn heard his voice, he ran around in excited circles with his penguin in his mouth.

We’ve talked about spending a weekend together, and we’re figuring out what would be better—me flying to him, or him coming to see me. The best part, the most shocking part, is his new willingness to meet Lyric if things go well between us after a few months. If—and only if—he remains clean. The plan to meet Lyric was entirely his idea, which is huge. Huge!

I’m going to be very cautious with Lyric, though. Meeting her father will be confusing for her, and life changing. It’s a big commitment on Blue’s part that will require a lot of patience and I’m not sure he’s ready for all of that yet. In the meantime, I’ve slowly made Lyric aware that I’ve been talking to a ‘friend’ every night, to ease her into the idea of me having a man in my life other than Josh.

Tonight I make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and we eat together—Josh, Lyric, and I, which we try to do a few nights a week. Growing up, my parents always insisted we eat dinner together as a family every night. Now that I’m older I can look back and see how important that was—to have that stability with loved ones every day. I want to give Lyric the same.

After dinner Josh leaves for a date, Lyric works on a Lego castle she’s been building for the last week, and I do forty-five minutes of aerobics in front of the television. Before heading upstairs to shower, I check my email and see I have one from Blue.

Piper,

I feel like shit tonight. It’s just a headache but I’m gonna hit the sack early.

I hope you had a good day, beautiful.

I’ll call you tomorrow night.

Love,

Blue

I reply:

Blue,

I’m so sorry, I hope you feel better! Call me if you can’t sleep, I don’t mind if you wake me.

I miss you bunches and love you always.

Kisses,

me

“I missed you last night. Do you feel better today?”

“My head is still fuckin’ rocking. I missed you, too, babe.”

“I wish you didn’t still get these headaches.”

“Me too. They’re gettin’ old. Tomorrow I’m going to look into flights, if you’re still okay with coming here? You can meet the guys, see where I live. We’ll go out to eat, look at the local sheds. All that happy stuff.”

I laugh at his shed joke. “I’m totally fine with that. Except the shed part.”

I’m looking forward to seeing Blue’s condo and be in his world. I’ve often wondered what kind of decor he’s into, what color bedspread he has, if he has any photos on the wall. They’re such simple details, but will mean so much to actually see.

“And I’ll let you decide if you want to stay at a hotel or stay here with me. Or I can stay at the hotel with you. Whatever’ll make you happy, I’m down with. I’m paying for it, so don’t even try to argue about it.”

“If you insist. Let me think about the hotel thing. Once we figure out dates, I’ll let HR know. I’m sure my mom will love having Lyric for a weekend, and Josh won’t mind taking care of the pets for me. He’s home most of the time.”

I hear the click of his piercing against his teeth. “Who’s Josh?”

“My roommate? I’ve mentioned him a hundred times.”