No Tomorrow

If you thought you knew me, take a look around

I don’t even know me, and I’m sick of the lies,

Sweet insanity, where the fuck have you been?

You know you’ve always been my best friend

You showed me heaven, baby, now I’ll show you hell.

I grip the steering wheel and Ditra leans forward and changes the radio station to something else.

“I’m so sick of his lyrical tantrums.” She sighs and puts her bare foot up on my dashboard. “He needs to get over it and get his shit together already.”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” I reply, and I don’t. I don’t even want to think about him.

“Billy saw them in concert last month and said they killed it. He loves these harder rock songs on their new album. I guess it’s true that agony breeds creativity.” Billy. Also known as Mohawk Guy. He went home with Ditra that night of the concert and never left. Turns out he’s a nice guy. Smart, too. He’s a video game developer making six figures. He doesn’t have the Mohawk anymore, thankfully. His hair is shoulder length now instead of sticking a foot off the top of his head and he’s actually very good looking. He and Ditra are crazy about each other and have even talked about getting married soon.

I never thought Ditra would be the one to fall in love and get married and I’d be the one single one.

I park the car in front of the café, Ditra puts her shoes back on, and we go inside. Our Thursday night ritual has been sporadic over the years, but we still do our best to get together as often as we can, whether it’s for dinner, or to grab a latte and pastry like we’re doing tonight.

“How’s work?” I ask once we’re settled at our table.

“Crazy busy. I referred Boner to a male masseuse.”

“Finally! You should have done that weeks ago. It’s so gross and inappropriate.”

She bites into her apple streusel and nods as she chews. “It happens sometimes when you give people a massage. They get a little emotional, they get a little turned on. It comes with the territory of putting your hands on people. But he took it to a whole new level. I can’t have someone with a monstrous dick having a boner every damn week and staring at me like it’s my fault or something.” She shudders. “In all the years I’ve been doing this he’s the only one who’s ever grossed me out.”

“I’d probably get turned on if you were massaging me, too,” I tease.

“You should let me give you a massage. I can see your stressed-out shoulders from here. Are you using the ergonomic keyboard I bought you?”

“I can’t type on that thing to save my life.” I tried. Really. But the big split in the center of the keyboard and the angled keys drove me crazy.

“It takes a while to get used to.”

“I can’t do it. I went from typing ninety words per minute to ten words per minute. It was messing up my productivity big time.”

“Then you should do the exercises I showed you.”

“I have been,” I lie. Ditra is all into body therapy and likes to use me as her guinea pig, which I don’t mind because it makes her happy. The keyboard was a disaster, but the back cushion she gave me for my office chair is amazing.

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something tonight. Is everything okay?”

I nod. “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. And I think it’s time for Lyric and me to get our own house.”

She lets out an odd laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m serious. I think it’s best for everyone involved. Why? You don’t agree?”

“You’re not going to believe this. I have something for you,” she says, pulling her leather purse into her lap. She fishes around and comes out with a folded piece of paper that she slides across the table at me.

“This better not be another dating site,” I say, leering at the paper like it might bite me.

“It’s not, I promise.”

I’m surprised to see it’s a real estate listing for a small bungalow style house. I glance over it quickly—three bedrooms, two baths, small yard, cute porch on the front, lots of flowers. It’s perfect.

I smile, but feel surprised and slightly confused. Although I suppose I shouldn’t feel that way. Ditra’s my best friend. I’m sure, just like me, she also was starting to think that it’s time for me to spread my wings.

“It’s the house directly behind ours. My backyard touches that backyard. As soon as I saw the for-sale sign go up a few days ago, I thought of you.”

“It’s like you read my mind. I’ve been debating getting my own place for months. It’s a hard decision to make. Josh and I are so close, and Lyric loves him.”