You say that, but she is in your head.
I’m starting to care. Even I can’t lie to myself about that. Because if I didn’t, I would have already called Bruce and told him to fuck our deal. But I can’t send her back. I won’t send her back. She’s mine. She belongs here with me.
I hear the door open to the Range Rover behind me, but I ignore it. The road starts to curve, and as I round it, I come to a stop once I realize where I’m at.
Skid marks cut through the double yellow lines and three, white wooden crosses stand over in the ditch. Each name written vertically—Maddox, Landen, and Eli.
And just like that, I’m pulled back to that night six months ago.
“Please … Cole. Aimee needs you …”
“She has you,” I say, falling beside him in the ditch once again. They’re dead. Maddox still lies in the street, and I found Landen over behind the car. They’re both dead! I can’t lose him too.
His hands grip my bloody shirt. “You have to help her. Save her.” Tears roll down his face, and I can’t hold mine back.
There’s a knot in my throat, and I nod my head quickly.
“Promise … me.”
“I promise.”
I stare at the three crosses, my breath caught in my throat. And my chest is tight. I imagine mine being next to his. Where it deserves to be. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save Aimee. And I sure as hell couldn’t save my mother.
I’m fucking useless!
“Cole?”
I close my eyes when I hear her call my name.
Fuck! I fist my cracked knuckles. She’s another reminder that I fuck up everything I touch. I once told her that I love to destroy pretty, innocent things. And that was the truth. To me, things are more beautiful broken. Anyone can love something that is pure and whole—perfect. But destroy something, then stand back and see how many people give it the time of day. Or how many will take the time to help it heal. No one will. I know from experience. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. I want to do that to her. I don’t want anyone to want her when I’m finished with her. I wanna ruin Austin Lowes. More than she already is.
“What are you …?” Her voice trails off, and I feel her come to stand next to me. Her arm brushing mine.
I don’t open my eyes. I don’t dare look at her.
“Let’s go,” I manage to grind out and spin around, once again keeping my back to her. I make my way to the SUV and climb in. I look in the back seat and see Deke sitting up against the window with Becky’s head in his lap. She’s passed out asleep. His eyes go from mine to the windshield, and he swallows. He knows where we are. He helped me place those crosses there. The door opens, and Austin gets in without saying a word. I put the SUV in drive and pull back onto the road.
AUSTIN
If you had asked me three weeks ago what I thought of Cole Reynolds, I would have told you that I thought he was the devil himself! I hated him with every part of me.
If you asked me now, I would say that from what I have seen, he was dealt a shitty hand. His mother died. He raises his little sister. And he lost three best friends from a mistake he made.
I could feel his sadness when I stood beside him and stared at the three crosses. It took me a second for my drunk eyes to understand what I was looking at, but when it hit me, it took my breath away. He stood there and stared at the road like it was happening all over again. I felt his pain, and it was crippling.
I wanted to ask him about it. To know what happened. What he saw. Is that what made him so angry with the world? Did he try to save them and just not succeed? Becky said that the EMS found Cole sitting in the ditch with Eli in his arms. What were their last words? Did they get any? Did he die on impact? How did the other three die but Cole not? I’m sure that’s a question he asks himself all the time. I know I would.
Cole gets my attention as he pulls up to a gated community. He presses a device on the visor, and the gate opens. He pulls in and passes house after house that looks bigger than my father’s mansion. They set back off the two-lane road, hidden behind rows of trees. He slows down and pulls into a driveway.
“Just stop here,” Deke says from the back seat.
Cole doesn’t question him. He brings the SUV to a stop, and Deke speaks. “Just bring me the car tomorrow.”