“Last Request” by Paolo Nutini.
Tears instantly fill my eyes. I blink them back while swallowing the pain I feel from listening to the lyrics, from what Tom is telling me with this song.
He’s saying good-bye.
As I watch him walk toward me, my heart breaks. The soulful voice of Paolo Nutini spurring my pain on. Hurting from how much I want Tom in this moment, knowing it’s our last.
The last time I’ll get to touch him. Kiss him. Feel him inside me.
Even with the weight of that bearing down on me, I still stand when he reaches me.
I need to make the most of this night.
I slip my hands under his shirt and press my fingertips against his hard stomach, loving the sound of his sharp intake of breath at my touch.
His eyes glitter down lustfully at me.
Gripping the bottom of his shirt, I lift it. Tom raises his arms, allowing me to pull it over his head.
I drop his shirt to the floor, and then put my hands on his chest. Inching up onto my toes, I brush my lips gently over his. As I move back, Tom takes my head in his hands. His eyes burn into mine with such intensity that it takes my breath away.
Then, he seals his mouth over mine, leading me into a knee weakening kiss.
He grabs my ass in both hands, lifting me, as I wrap my legs around his waist.
Tom climbs up onto the bed on his knees, kissing me still, he takes us down to the mattress.
This time is different. Slower. He takes his time undressing me—caressing, and kissing every part of me. Looking at me with reverence. It’s almost as if he’s memorizing me with his eyes and hands and mouth.
When I’m naked and wanting beneath him, I reach for his jeans and unbuckle his belt.
Tom takes over, sliding it free from his jeans. Belt in hand, he takes both of my hands and moves them up above my head. He looks down at me in question.
I nod, letting him know I’m okay with it, feeling excited beyond measure.
He fits his belt around my wrists with a precision that I choose to ignore.
“Is that okay?” he asks.
“Yes.” I’m breathless with anticipation.
He moves his big body between my legs. “Keep your arms up there. Don’t move them. You move, I’ll make you wait longer to come.”
“I understand,” I whisper. My body is vibrating with excitement.
He takes my nipple into his mouth and tugs it with his teeth, leaving a sting that he immediately soothes with his tongue. Moving to the other breast, he repeats the action.
He gets to his knees, sitting between my thighs. “You look so beautiful right now,” he says in a throaty voice. “Spread your legs.”
I part them wider for him.
He runs his finger between my wet folds. “So goddamn beautiful,” he murmurs. Moving down the bed, he positions his head between my legs and starts to lick me with enthusiasm.
His fingers go into my pussy, pumping in and out. Then, they start to trail down toward my ass.
“Yes.” I lift my hips, letting him know how badly I want him there.
“I wanna fuck your ass so bad.” He kisses the inside of my thigh, finger rimming my puckered hole. “I want to be the first man to give that to you.”
Can I do this?
We’ve been doing the fingers-up-my-ass since that night under the stage. Tom has increased it to two fingers, but we’ve never gone so far as to actually have anal sex.
It’s our last night. This could be something that’s ours…his alone that I gave to him.
I do trust him. I know he would never hurt me.
Yes, I want this with Tom.
“Let’s do it…” I hear myself saying.
He lifts his head, eyes dark and fixed on my face. “You really mean that?”
“I really mean it. I want this with you.”
Dismay suddenly passes over his face. “Fuck,” he utters. “I don’t have any lube in the house.”
I’m surprised by how disappointed I feel. “You don’t have anything?”
“No…my home is not a place I have sex in.”
My eyes widen. “You’ve never had sex here before?”
Knowing Tom, I find that hard to believe.
“Don’t sound so surprised. In the past, with other women, I either went to their place or the apartment I have in town, which is specifically for—” He cuts himself off, realizing I don’t need to hear about his fuck pad. He moves closer to me. “You’re my first.”
I want him to be my first.
Swallowing past my girly emotions that his declaration has set off in me, I say, “Can we do it just using…me?” I nod down to the ridiculous wetness I’m currently providing.
His eyes sweep down my body, settling between my legs. His eyes start to burn again. “We can try.” His hands come under me, then, he’s flipping me over onto my front. “Get up on your knees. Face on the bed. Arms above your head. Lift that sexy ass of yours for me.”
Spurred on by his commands, I do exactly as he asks. I get my hands comfortable so the belt isn’t digging into my wrists.
Tom comes up behind me, and his thick finger dips into my entrance. He moves my natural lubricant up to my puckered hole. Carefully, he works his finger in. I feel that slight unease I always do when we first start doing this, but sensation quickly overrides, and I fall into the feeling.
No time has passed before he’s working in a second finger, stretching me. All the while, rubbing my clit with his skilled fingers.
I’m panting, heart pounding, my legs trembling. “Tom,” I moan. “I need it…you…now.” I can barely breathe. My body is on fire, and my head is swimming with desire. I’m desperate to have him.