Now in a particularly crappy mood, Jake snatched up the phone from beside his grandfather’s favorite chair. “What is it, Mom?”
“Well, hello to you too,” Elise Hunter said coolly. “And merry Christmas!”
His eyes rolled practically to the back of his head. The whole family knew he didn’t do Christmas, yet none of them stopped trying. “Right. Same to you. What’s up?”
“Do you think you might be able to speak to me without trying to bite my head off?”
Sighing, Jake yanked off his hat and scraped one hand through his hair. “A week ago, you threatened to take my son from his mother and now you’re surprised that I’m a little testy?”
She laughed and the sound was so familiar, it eased some of the heaviness he felt inside.
“Oh, Jake. I was never going to take Luke from Cassie.”
“What?” Frowning, he fixed his gaze blindly on his grandfather’s tree, spots of bright red and green and blue blurring weirdly into a kaleidoscope of color. “What do you mean? You threatened Cassie. That’s why she ran to me in the first place.”
“You’re welcome.”
“What?”
Her laughter faded away and drowned in a sigh of frustration. In his mind, he could see her, sitting at the desk that had once been his father’s with a wide window and a view of Boston at her back.
“Jake, I would never take your son. I was only trying to force Cassie’s hand. Once her sister told me about Luke, was I supposed to just sit quietly and pretend I didn’t know?”
His frown deepened as his fist tightened around the phone.
“Would you rather I’d done nothing?” she prodded, her insistence demanding an answer. “Would you rather not know about Luke at all?”
“No,” he said abruptly. The thought of not knowing about Luke’s existence hit him hard. Not ever seeing the boy? Never feeling his solid weight in his arms? Not seeing that wide, drooly smile, hearing his crow of laughter?
If Cassie left, Jake wouldn’t see his son’s first steps. Wouldn’t hear his first word. Wouldn’t teach him to ride a horse or to make a snow fort. He wouldn’t show Luke the best fishing spots on the mountain and he wouldn’t be a part of his own son’s day-to-day life. He’d miss everything, big and small, and that knowledge tore at him, leaving Jake cringing from the pain.
That emptiness was back inside him again at the thought of not having Luke in his life. And Cassie. Without her, what the hell did he have? An empty house? A lonely ranch? He nearly choked on the thought of another fifty or so years of life spent without her laughter. Without her touch.
“Jake,” his mother said softly, “don’t let this chance with Cassie slip away.”
Is that what he was doing? Was he really going to allow her to leave and try to pretend it didn’t matter?
“I know, the hermit on the mountain doesn’t want to hear that he’s not invincible on his own.”
Jake reached out and flicked his finger against a candy cane on the tree, sending it swinging. “I’m not a hermit.”
“And you’re not invincible,” Elise said quietly. “Jake, Cassie loves you. Her sister told me.”
“I know,” he muttered, gaze fixed on that twist of red and white peppermint as if it meant his life. “I know that.”
“I think you care for her, too,” his mother continued.
“Of course I care,” he told her hotly. “What am I, made of stone?”
“Have you bothered to tell her that?” She waited for him to say something and when he didn’t, she sighed again. “Of course you haven’t. Jake, I’m your mother and I love you. So I’m going to tell you that if you lose this chance at happiness, you’ll never forgive yourself.”
He dropped his hat onto Ben’s chair, scrubbed one hand across his face and wished he could just hang up. But ending the conversation wouldn’t stop any of the thoughts charging through his mind.
“Have you forgotten Lisa?”
She laughed. “That would be hard to do,” his mother said. “That woman caused more problems—wait a minute.” Her voice went low and hard. “Are you saying that’s why you’ve shut out your family and any chance at love? Because you made a mistake with Lisa?”
“Doesn’t that make sense?” he demanded, trying to defend himself and his actions. Though hearing his mother say it out loud made him sound profoundly stupid. “I married her, didn’t I? My mistake, and it was a big one.”