Since that last night with Jillian, Jesse hadn’t been able to get a moment’s peace. He kept seeing her face. Hearing her say he was like every other man in her life—letting her down. Walking away.
“Well, hell, can’t she see I didn’t want her to go?” He pulled another nail from the box lying on the ground, straightened up and swung the hammer at it. Solid, hard work should be giving him a sense of satisfaction. At least fixing loose boards on the corral fence allowed him to take out his aggravation on innocent nails.
But it wasn’t helping.
He yanked off his cowboy hat and wiped his forehead with his forearm. Summer was settling in and it promised to be a hot one. He jammed the hat back onto his head and braced his forearms on the top rail of the fence. He stared off at the ranch yard and then let his gaze slide to his house. For the first time since moving into that place, Jesse hadn’t been able to find any peace in it.
Because Jillian was there. Her image. Her scent still clung to the pillow beside his. Mac was there, too, as he could remember holding the little girl while she cried and slept. The crib was still in the guest room and he felt a pang every time he walked past it down the hall.
Now he wondered what was happening with them. Was Jillian getting the shop put together? Was Mac still sick? And was he going to be doing this for the rest of his damn life? Wondering about the two people he loved because he wasn’t with them to keep them safe?
Scowling, he went back to work. Lucy had left more than two hours ago and he knew his sister had gone into town to see Jillian. And he wished to hell he knew what they were talking about. “A hell of a thing, being jealous of your sister,” he muttered and slammed the hammer home again.
He heard the car careening up the drive before he saw it. Lucy’s truck was barreling toward the ranch house as if racing from a fire. Instantly, panic flared into life in the center of Jesse’s chest. Was Jillian all right? Mac? Had something happened?
Jesse dropped everything and sprinted for the front of the house. Lucy jumped out of the truck, raced toward him and didn’t have a chance to speak before he demanded, “Is Jillian okay? Mac?”
And just like that, Lucy’s whole demeanor changed. Tension left her shoulders and a smirk twisted her mouth. “Well, that answers my question.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he demanded. “What question? Weren’t you with Jill? Is she okay?”
“Jill’s fine. So’s Mac,” she added, “not that you’d know since you haven’t bothered to call her. Or to go see her.”
“Damn it, Lucy,” he ground out as his heart slowed from a gallop to a trot. “You had me thinking—”
“That they needed you and you weren’t there?” Lucy finished for him. “Well, get used to that feeling because unless you wise up, you’re going to be living with that.”
“Why’d you drive in here like a bat out of hell? Just trying to scare ten years off my life?”
She leaned back against the side of her royal blue truck, crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “I was pretty sure you were in love with Jillian, but I wanted to be sure. Seeing your panicked reaction convinced me.”
“Well, good for you.” He turned to go because at the rate his temper was building, he didn’t trust himself not to use the kind of language his mother would still give him grief over.
Lucy grabbed his arm and held him in place. “Why are you ignoring your family, Jesse?”
“What the hell does that mean?” He waved one arm as if encompassing the ranch and said, “I’ve been right here, all week, spending time with my family.”
“I’m not talking about our family,” she said, irritation spiking the tone of her voice. “I’m talking about the family you built with Jillian.”
“Butt out, little sister.” The warning came out as a growl. Lucy wasn’t impressed.
“Not a chance. You love Jill, and you love Mac.” Lucy shook her head. “They love you, too, so what the hell are you doing?”
“I can’t do this. Can’t talk about this with you.”
“Why not?” Lucy lifted her chin and fixed her gaze on his, and Jesse had to silently admit that his younger sister had become a fierce woman. “You’re using me and Brody as an excuse to deny yourself a life, so I think you can discuss it with me.”
“I’m not—”
“Dane died.” Two words that shook both of them.
Jesse heard the slight tremor in her voice before she covered it over in fury when she continued. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t his fault. Or the damn horse’s, either. It just happened. That’s why they call things like that ‘accidents.’ You can’t plan for it. You can’t guard against it. It’s just life, Jesse.”