“I shouldn’t have let him so close.”
Lucy snorted a laugh. “Do you really believe Dane would have allowed you to keep him back? He was a city guy, but he was no coward.”
“I didn’t say he was.”
“He was a good, kind, strong man who went after what he wanted.” Lucy swallowed hard. “He died going after it, but it was important to him and he wouldn’t have let you stop him.”
Jesse thought back to his brother-in-law and conceded that she had a point. Dane had been just as hardheaded as the rest of them and determined to build a life on the ranch. He’d fought against Jesse’s and Will’s attempts to protect him and had goaded them and challenged himself in his quest to grab what he wanted most.
“Should I blame Dane, Jesse?” She looked up at him, shaking her head. “I could. I could say it was his fault for always pushing, doing too much. He shouldn’t have rushed into things like he did, but he was so damn alive…”
“I’m sorry about Dane, Lucy. So damn sorry.” Jesse shook his head, reached out and pulled his sister in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed.
“I know you are. So am I. But life keeps going, Jesse.” She leaned her head back and looked up at him. “And if you don’t wake up in time, life is going to pass you by.”
He took a breath, easing the constriction in his chest. “But there’s Brody to care for and—”
“Are you planning on moving off the ranch?” she asked.
“No.”
“Then you’ll be here for Brody. Just like you always are. And you can be here for Mac. And Jillian. And damn it, Jesse. Be there for yourself, too.” She was frowning up at him and Jesse bent down to plant a kiss on her forehead.
“Since when did you get so damn bossy?”
“Since always and you know it.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “But you didn’t use to be right.”
“Hah! I’m always right,” Lucy teased. “You’re just not willing to admit it very often.”
He gave her another tight hug then let her go. Guilt would probably always be with him, Jesse silently acknowledged. But maybe for the first time since Dane’s death, Jesse was coming to grips with it. Everything Lucy had said resonated with him and maybe if he’d really thought about it years ago, he’d have come to this conclusion sooner.
Dane had lived his life exactly as he’d wanted. Now, it was time for Jesse to go after what he wanted.
“I guess you’re not the worst sister in the world…”
“High praise indeed.” She hooked one arm around his waist as he turned toward the main house. “So, do you need some help picking out a ring?”
He pulled her hair. “Again, I say, butt out, little sister.”
* * *
By late afternoon Jillian could admit that she was feeling a little better. She should have talked to Lucy sooner because that conversation with Jesse’s sister had really done a lot to ease her pain. Maybe just being able to talk about the man she loved would be enough to help her transition into living without him.
Because no matter what Lucy said, Jillian couldn’t afford to keep hope alive eternally.
“Jesse!”
Jillian sighed a little and looked at her daughter, sitting on the sidewalk beside her. Outside the pie shop, Jillian had been painting different designs on the display window, trying to figure out which one looked best. When she had it pinned down, she’d contact a professional sign painter to make it permanent.
“Not today, sweetie,” she murmured automatically and looked up at the window. Miss Mac’s Pie Shack. “There’s your name, Mackenzie. You’re on the window and maybe we could paint a little portrait of you, too. Use you as our logo, what do you think?”
“Jesse!”
Sighing, Jillian glanced at Mac again, noticed her daughter staring off down the sidewalk and lifted her gaze to see Jesse striding toward them.
Jillian’s heartbeat clattered in her chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. He looked so good. Blue jeans, white button-down shirt, denim jacket and that black hat that never failed to set her pulse racing. “Oh, God…”
“Jesse!” Mac called it louder this time and took off down the sidewalk toward her hero.
“Mac!” Jillian started after her, but she needn’t have bothered. Jesse swept the little girl up into his arms and then gave her the stuffed horse he’d brought for her.
“Mama, Jesse! Horsie!”
“I see that,” she said softly, enjoying the flush of pleasure on Mac’s face and the bright light in her eyes as she stared at Jesse. Jillian’s heart hurt. Jesse was only making this harder on Mac. The little girl had missed him so much that seeing him again would only freshen the pain when he disappeared again.