Her Festive Baby Bombshell

She lowered her voice. “But it had to be tough for you with everyone running around looking after your brother. No one would blame you for feeling forgotten.”

“I would blame me. I was selfish.” His voice was gravelly with emotion. “And I had no right—no right to want presents on Christmas—no right to grow angry with my parents for not having time for me.”

Her heart ached for him. “Of course you would want Christmas with all of its trimmings. Your life was spinning out of control and you wanted to cling to what you knew—what would make your life feel normal again.”

“Aren’t you listening? My brother was dying and I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t have some stupid toys under the Christmas tree. What kind of a person does that make me?”

“A real flesh-and-blood person who isn’t perfect. But here’s a news flash for you. None of us are—perfect that is. We just have to make the best of what we’ve been given.”

He shook his head, blinking repeatedly. “I’m worse than most. I’m selfish and thoughtless. Uncaring is the word my mother threw at me.” He swiped at his eyes. “And she was right. My brother deserved a better sibling than I’d turned out to be.”

Holly placed her hand atop his before lacing their fingers together. A tingling sensation rushed from their clasped hands, up her arm and settled in her chest. It gave her the strength she needed to keep going—to keep trying to help this man who was in such pain.

“Did you ever think that you were just a kid in a truly horrific situation? Your big brother—the person you looked up to—your best friend—was sick, dying and there was nothing you could do for him. That’s a lot to deal with as an adult, but as a child you must have felt utterly helpless. Not knowing what to do with the onslaught of emotions, you pushed them aside. Your brother’s situation was totally out of your control. Instead you focused on trying to take control of your life.”

Finn’s wounded gaze searched hers. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m saying it because it’s what I believe.” She freed her hand from his in order to gently caress his jaw. “Finn, you’re a good man with a big heart—”

“I’m not. I’m selfish.”

“Is that what your mother told you?”

“No.” His head lowered. There was a slight pause as though he was lost in his own memories. “It’s what my father told me.”

“He was wrong.” She placed a fingertip beneath Finn’s chin and lifted until they were eye to eye. “He was very wrong. You have the biggest, most generous heart of anyone I know.”

“Obviously you don’t know me very well.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Look at how much you do for others. The Santa Project is a prime example. And you’re a generous boss with an amazing benefits package for your employees—”

“That isn’t what I meant. My father...he told me that I should have been the one in the hospital bed, not my brother.” Holly gasped. Finn kept talking as though oblivious to her shocked reaction. “He was right. My brother was the golden boy. He was everything my parents could want. Derek and I were quite different.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks. It was horrific that his father would spew such mean and hurtful things, but the fact that Finn believed them and still did to this day tore her up inside. How in the world did she make him see what a difference he continued to make in others’ lives?

And then a thought occurred to her. She pulled his hand over to her slightly rounded abdomen. “This is the reason you’re still here. You have a future. You have two little ones coming into this world that you can lavish with love and let them know how important each of them are to you. You can make sure they know that you don’t have a favorite because they are equally important in your heart.”

“What...what if I end up like my father and hurt our children?”

“You won’t. The fact you’re so worried about it proves my point.”

His gaze searched hers. “Do you really believe that? You think I can be a good father?”