“Of course you do.” She took his hand and pressed it to her slightly rounded abdomen. “And these babies are proof of it.”
“You might change your mind after I tell you this.”
“I highly doubt it, but I’m listening.”
“It had been a snowy February night a year after my brother died. I’d been invited to my best friend’s birthday party, but I wasn’t going. I was jealous of my friend because my Christmas had come and gone without lights and a tree. I’d been given a couple of gift cards, more as an afterthought.”
Holly settled closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder as she slipped her hand in his. She didn’t know where he was going with this story, but wherever it led, she’d be there with him.
“My birthday had been in January—my thirteenth birthday—I was so excited to be a teenager. You know how kids are, always in a rush to grow up. But my parents hadn’t done anything for it. There was no surprise party—no friends invited over—just a store-bought cake that didn’t even have my name on it. I was given one birthday gift. There were apologies and promises to make it up to me.”
Her heart ached for him. She moved her other hand over and rested it on his arm.
“When the phone rang to find out why I wasn’t at my friend’s party, my mother insisted I go and take a gift. Our parents were close friends, so when I again refused to go, my mother took back the one birthday gift that I’d received but refused to open. She insisted on delivering it to the party, but the snow was mounting outside and she was afraid to drive. My father reluctantly agreed to drive, but not before calling me a selfish brat and ordering me to my room.”
Finn inhaled a ragged breath as he squeezed her hand. She couldn’t imagine how much he’d lived through as a child. The death of his brother had spun the whole family out of control. No wonder he was such a hands-on leader. He knew the devastating consequences of losing control.
Finn’s voice grew softer. “They only had a few blocks to drive, but the roads were icy. They had to cross a major roadway. My father had been going too fast. When he slowed down for the red light, he hit a patch of ice and slid into the intersection...into the path of two oncoming vehicles.”
“Oh, Finn. Is that what happened tonight? You were reliving your parents’ accident?”
He nodded. “Don’t you see? If I had gone to that party, I would have been there before the snow. My parents would have never been out on the road. And tonight if I had paid attention to the forecast, I would have known about the storm rolling in.”
“No matter how much you want to, you can’t control the future. You had no idea then or now about what was going to happen. You can’t hold yourself responsible.”
“But you and those babies are my responsibility. If anything had happened to you, I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself.”
“You’d lean on your friends.”
He shook his head. “I don’t have friends. I have associates at best.”
“Maybe if you let down your guard, you’d find out those people really do like you for you and not for what you can do for them.” Her mind started to weave a plan to show Finn that he didn’t need to be all alone in this world.
“I don’t know. I’ve kept to myself so long. I wouldn’t know how to change—how to let people in.”
“I bet it’s easier than you’re thinking. Look how quickly we became friends.”
“Is that what we are?” His gaze delved deep into her as though he could see straight through to the secrets lurking within her heart. “Are we just friends?”
Her heart thump-thumped. They were so much more than friends, but her voice failed her. Maybe words weren’t necessary. In this moment actions would speak so much louder.
Need thrummed in her veins. She needed to let go of her insecurities. She needed to feel connected to him—to feel the love and happiness he brought to her life. She needed all of Finn with a force that almost scared her.
He filled in those cracks and crevices in her heart, making it whole. And not even her father’s indifference tonight, her stepmother’s coldness or her stepsisters’ rudeness could touch her now. In this moment the only person that mattered was the man holding her close.