Becoming Calder

"Won't we be celebrating?" I asked in a voice that sounded dead, even to me.

"Yes, we'll be celebrating in my bedroom," he answered.

I stared straight ahead, trying to control my racing, aching heart. I was miserable. I looked to the right where the door to the cellar was behind the main lodge. Oh Calder, my love. I'm doing this for us. I have no choice. I only hope it works.

Hector took my hand and led me through the main lodge, up the stairs to his bedroom. I'd been in here before, when I'd stolen some money and a couple pieces of jewelry. My heart clenched in pain when I thought of that moment at the spring when I'd shown Calder and Xander. There had been so much hope then. I had to push that aside so I didn't start screaming.

Hector came up behind me. I felt his warm breath on my neck as he brought my zipper down slowly. I pulled away from him and a warning look came into his eyes when I turned toward him. "Please, let me undress for you," I said, looking up at him through my lashes.

His expression was one of excited surprise as he backed up. His gaze moved down my body and his hand moved to the growing bulge in his pants, petting himself. Bile rose up my throat, but I swallowed it back down and smiled pleasantly.

Be strong, Morning Glory.

I slid off my shoes and brought my dress down my shoulders, letting it fall in a puddle at my feet. I wore nothing underneath. I stood before Hector, naked, the very small swell of my pregnant belly completely on show.

I ran my hand down it with shaking hands. It had only become obvious in the past couple of weeks, and more so because I'd lost weight due to the lack of food at Acadia. In my room alone, while Calder sat in the cellar not more than three hundred feet from me, I'd discovered a tiny, beautiful secret. I was carrying his child. I'd conceived at our spring, the first time he'd made love to me, almost three months earlier. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it from Hector when I stood before him naked. I had no choice but to beg for our lives.

"Let us go," I whispered. "It's not only my blood that runs through my veins now. It's his, too. Both of us run through my veins now. And the baby is strong, just like its father."

Hector stood frozen, and when his eyes rose to my own, they were filled with deep confusion.

"He's tainted you." He said it almost matter-of-factly. Hope surged inside me. Was he going to give me up now?

I nodded my head, imploring him with my eyes. "Yes, Hector. I wanted to be tainted. Let us go. You don't want me. Please. Just let us go. Let us make a life together. I'm pregnant with his child. We're in love. That's all. It's that simple. Please." I fell down on my knees in front of him. "Please just let us go," I begged. "Have mercy."

"Get out." He said the words so calmly it startled me.

"Get out of my presence while you carry Satan's spawn. I should have known how strong Satan was, how hard he'd try to stop the foretelling." He looked up and squinted as if hearing voices in the air around him. "Yes. Again, I've underestimated his strength, his deviousness," he croaked, looking almost lost.

I stood quickly, gathered my dress, and pulled it on, not bothering with my shoes. Hector took me harshly by the arm and led me out of his room and down the hall to mine where he practically threw me inside and slammed the door behind me, locking it. I sat down on my bed and ran my hand over my belly. "It's okay," I said, soothing myself more than anything. "It's okay. We're going to be okay."

I took the gold band off my finger and laid it on my bedside table, and put my own arms around myself, trying to get control of the shaking. I allowed myself to feel the relief that I hadn't had to endure lovemaking with Hector, but I was even more fearful for Calder.

**********

The next morning, I woke up and blinked at the bright sunlight streaming through my window. I'd forgotten to close the shade last night before I fell asleep. I lay there for a few minutes, my hand going immediately to the small swell of my belly and for just a second, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I had no reason why I felt this. Everything was awful—a terrible, terrible mess. A nightmare. Yet for those brief few moments between dreams and complete wakefulness, a calm peace settled in my heart. Everything was going to be okay . . . somehow. But then reality came flooding in, filling the void, and the hairs stood up on the back of my neck. Nothing was going to be okay.

I heard a key in my lock and sat up quickly, pulling the blanket up over my now fuller br**sts.

Hailey walked in with my breakfast tray. She was looking down and I immediately saw that she had a large red mark on her cheek. "Hailey—" I started, throwing the covers back and getting out of bed.

"Don't, Eden, please," she said, her voice sounding hoarse. "There's not much food, sorry. Our steadiness is tested now." She set the tray down on my bedside table and left, closing the door quietly behind her. My heart squeezed in my chest.

I picked up my tea and sipped at it as I considered what could be done. Hector had rejected me as his wife. That had to be good. I couldn't play the role in his foretelling now. It was over. Still, a chill went down my spine despite the warmth of the liquid making its way into my body. Hector wasn't going to give me up. I knew he wasn't. I had only bought us some time. And if my instincts were right, not much time. I finished my tea and swung my legs out of bed. I knocked on my own door and a few minutes later, Mother Miriam came and answered it and I used the bathroom as she waited outside.

I checked all the drawers in the bathroom and everything that could be used as a potential weapon had been removed. I leaned against the counter, feeling defeated. The problem was not so much escaping, myself. I could probably manage to do that. But how would I get Calder out, too? And if I didn't, what would Hector do to him? I felt hopeless.

As I opened the door to the bathroom, a sharp pain lanced through my abdomen and I doubled over, crying out at the sudden intensity of the cramp.

"What is it?" Mother Miriam asked, coming to my side.

"I don't know," I said breathlessly, still clutching my stomach. Another stabbing pain assaulted me and I grabbed the wall, doubling over once more. "I'm pregnant," I cried. "Something's wrong!"

Mother Miriam drew back, shock registering on her face. "No," she said simply.

"Ahhhh!" I cried out as agony ripped through my stomach and I bent over and vomited on the hardwood floor of the hallway.

"Take her to the sick tent," I heard behind me in Hector's deep, cold voice.

Mother Miriam wrapped her arm around me and held me upright as we walked . . . limped down the hallway to the stairs. Sweat had broken out on my face and everything swayed around me. "What did you do?" I asked weakly as we passed Hector. "What did you put in my tea? What did you do to me?" I cried out more loudly.

"It had to be eliminated," he said behind me. "What has been foretold cannot be unwritten or undone, not even by Satan."

"Ahhhh!" I screamed in horror and agony, the pain ripping through my body and through my very soul. Mother Miriam gripped me more tightly and practically carried me out the door of the main lodge.

I vomited again right outside the door. "He's killing my baby," I sobbed. "Oh, God of Mercy, help me, help me, help me." I fell to my knees in my own sickness, shaking and sweating, and half-crazed with terror.

"Shh, child," Mother Miriam said behind me, picking me up again and dragging me down the stairs. "I'm here."

"You hate me," I sobbed. "You did this. You did this, too!" I beat weakly on her arm, wrapped around my waist, but I had no energy left to do anything but bear the pain and sickness.

"I would never do this," she said. "I've lost, too."

"Ahhhh!" I screamed again, doubling over in the courtyard and vomiting again. The world blinked on and off, everything swimming around me as I tried to pull myself upright. Something warm and wet was running down my leg.

I heard my name somewhere from far away and even in my delirious state, I knew it was Calder. "Calder," I screamed. "Calder!" My voice broke on his name as I called out a second time and then doubled over in a blood-curdling scream again, more sticky wetness sliding down my leg. I tried to lurch toward where he was calling to me, but Mother Miriam pulled me back. "I have to get you to the sick tent," she said. "If you want to live, I have to get you there."

I went limp in her arms, as another pain tore through me, too weak even to scream this time.

The world dimmed and faded around me and then came into focus again as I saw men running past me toward where I had been trying to go to Calder.

The next thing I knew, I was in the sick tent, lying on a cot, the pain still ripping through my body as I sweated and cried and screamed out the agony.

I lost time as everything went in and out of focus around me, the morning sunlight slanting in through the window one second, and then the early evening twilight sky greeting me the next. All that day, I cried and writhed and endured the pain as Mother Miriam came and went, attending to my body in ways I couldn't even focus on.

"The worst of it is over now," Mother Miriam said quietly from the end of the cot where she was cleaning my thighs and between my legs.

"Is it . . . is it . . . did I?" I sobbed.

She was quiet for a minute. "Yes, Eden, I'm sorry. Your baby is gone."

Gone? Where? Where was my baby now? The small being I had only just begun to love so fiercely. What did I do with that love now?

I fell back on the cot and wailed, tears of grief and loss and horror. "I did this," I choked out. "I told him about the baby. This is my fault. This is all my fault."

"No, this is not your fault. And you will see your baby again in Elysium."

I wailed harder. "I'll kill Hector when I get there," I spat out. "I'll hunt him down and kill him! I don't care if he'll already be dead!" I choked on my own sobs.

"There is no hate in Elysium, Eden."

I turned over on the cot, rolled into a ball, and cried in misery.

"Calder tried to get to you when he heard your screams."

I turned over and looked at her through wet, swollen eyes.

"He fought like a warrior to get to you, child," she said softly, rubbing a cool washcloth on my forehead. "But in the end . . . there were just too many of them."

"Too many?" I squeaked out. "Is he . . .?"

"He's alive."

But I understood that he might not be for long. "Did they send Mother Willa to attend to him?"

Mother Miriam shook her head. "Mother Willa died last night," she said simply.

I pushed at her, trying to get out of bed.

Mother Miriam pushed me gently back down. "There is nothing you can do, Eden. They won't let you near him."

"Why are you letting this happen?" I cried.

Mother Miriam pursed her lips. "In Elysium, all our dreams will come true. In Elysium, we will be gods and goddesses. In Elysium, I will see my own children again, too," she said quietly.

"Then go to Elysium by yourself. Don't make us go with you," I yelled, another sharp cramp suddenly making me grab my stomach and wince.

"You'll have after-pains. It's normal. You need to rest."

She got up and left the sick tent, saying something to someone outside the door. A deep, male voice answered back. They'd put a guard outside.

I turned over on the cot and sobbed. So much pain. Physical. Emotional. This was agony. I didn't know if I could endure it. Calder, I'm trying to be your strong Morning Glory, but I don't think I can do this without you.

After a few minutes, the room grew measurably darker and I brought my head up and blinked, turning to the window. Outside, I had a perfect view of the moon. A shadow was moving across it. My heart sped up in my chest and I grasped the bed sheets in my hands. Confusion and disbelief slid slowly down my spine.

It was an eclipse.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Calder

I yelled out in rage and helplessness, and sunk down to the floor, breathing hard. Bringing my shirt up, I began to blot the blood I could feel running from my lip down my chin.

After a while, I paced the cage they'd put me in—the same one I'd been pacing in for two weeks now—as I tried to fathom a way to get out of this underground prison. The door was made of heavy steel, food brought only occasionally, with no regular pattern. I rationed the water they'd placed in the corner in one of the large jugs I used to carry down to the spring. The spring. No, don't think of that. Not now.

They'd come when I'd started hollering and yelling like a banshee after I'd heard Eden scream. And I'd gotten through the first three, but then ten more workers—I didn't even recognize all of them in my crazed state—had come running down the stairs and overtaken me. They'd fought me like I was the devil himself. I'd failed her. I'd told her I'd keep her safe, protected, and she'd trusted me. I fell onto the small bench and put my head in my hands. What had she had to endure? Yesterday had been her birthday and no one had come in at all. I'd thought I would go out of my mind.

I'd been reduced to begging at the door for someone to help me, but still no one came.

A small scraping sound came from outside my cell and I leaped up in time to see a small piece of paper being slid under my door. "Hey," I yelled. "Please! Let me out! Whoever's out there! Please!" Footsteps walked away and beyond that, I heard the outer door slam.

I picked up the note and tore it open.

She is Hector's wife now, in name only. Today, your baby was taken from her. She bore the pain with strength. She lives.