Breaking Perfect

He looked back to where Mase’s car had vanished. The sun was setting and pink hues filled the expansive seascape beyond the tall North Carolina dunes. They really lived in the middle of nowhere. There were other homes nearby, but they were all so damn big they seemed spread miles apart. Didn’t he get lonely out here? Sean remembered the sweet voice on the phone. No, probably not. Mase had his wife to keep him company.

He wondered what the woman who earned Mase’s future was like. Would she be a fair blonde like him or brunette? He wondered if she would actually appear feminine at all. When one spent a chunk of their life loving men, he couldn’t understand finding much of an appeal in a feminine woman. It would be like growing up on Italian food all your life and suddenly switching to Chinese.

Were they happy? Did he love her? He had so many questions. Things he would probably never know the answer to, like how often Mase fucked his wife, and if there was an underlying tension between them that would never go away? His friend sure lived in a big showy house. Sean bet if there was tension in their marriage, they were probably superficial enough to never let it show. For all he knew, Doctor Davis might be nothing like the Mase he used to know. Sure as fuck, the cornerstone of who Sean was had been traded in and switched up.

A sick aching dread filled the pit of his stomach as he worried that Mase might have all together forgotten about him. No. He’d never be able to completely erase him from his mind. Not after what they shared. Sure, it had been thirteen years since Sean walked away, but they had two years of history prior to that. No matter how much things might have changed, there was no way Mase could have wiped those two years of his life from his memory.

Sean scrubbed his hands roughly over his face. He badly needed a shave and a bed. He’d been driving for fucking days and hadn’t seen a hotel since he crossed the border. There was a town just over the bridge, but it looked to be mostly rental properties, not the kind of place you just walked into and filled a vacancy. The idea of sleeping in his truck didn’t appeal to him.

He looked into the rearview mirror again. Where was Mase heading? Would he be back soon or was he gone for the night? Maybe this whole trip was a waste and he should just keep moving. But what if he left and Mase came right back and they just missed each other, never knowing if his presence would be a welcomed one or not?

Coming so close to his past after all these years and missing the opportunity to face down his greatest regret would be enough to drive him insane. Before all else, he and Mase had been friends. What was to say they couldn’t still be friends? They would have to be if his boy was now married. Jesus, what if they had kids?

Sean started his truck. He had to get out of there. He should’ve never come. But as he pulled onto the apron of the drive so he could turn around and go back the way he came, a shadow moving across the large front window of the enormous house caught his eye. He wanted a face to put with the voice he’d heard the night before, a face to identify the owner of Mase’s heart.

Before he realized what he was doing he was already too far up the drive to turn back unnoticed. He’d just act like he didn’t know Mase was out. Maybe the little wife could tell him if he was coming right back. He recognized for a brief second that he wanted Mase’s wife to be fat and ugly, maybe have a ridiculously large wart on her face. He told himself he had the maturity of a toddler and needed to grow up.

As he stepped out of his truck and slammed the heavy door he paused. Music was playing loudly from inside the home. Beautiful music, not the shit that was on the radio nowadays. This was piano and it reverberated from the house. He didn’t recognize the song, but whatever it was it was lovely. He could hear the emotion pouring into every chord as if the artist was happy, but somehow alone. There was turmoil in the melody, but also hope, promise.

By the time he reached the front step, lined with impeccable landscaping and an array of plants whose names he probably would never be able to pronounce, he realized he couldn’t only hear the music, but feel it as well. It was pumping from within the house so hard that it vibrated the soles of his feet.