Breaking Perfect

“Where’s the bitch now?” Sean growled.

Mason chuckled, appreciating his friend’s protective instincts concerning Libby. “She lives in Florida and never contacts Liberty. I don’t want Liberty to contact her either and she’s more than fine with that. I think telling Liberty to cease contact with KarLyn, taking away her choice, was something she prayed for.”

Sean harrumphed and took a sip of his beer.

“OCD stems from anxiety. Her mother planted those seeds. Eric added to the problem, nurturing her need to be accepted in a way that suited him as well. Once Eric earned Liberty’s trust and broke it by abusing her, Libby started to hurt herself. She feels a need to burn herself when she struggles with guilt, to equalize or replace the pain. In her mind I think it’s a way of washing away the filth. A lot of times she uses scalding water. She’s never done it badly enough to leave obvious scars, but she’s done some serious damage to her soft tissue in the past. The twisted part is that Libby’s condition is considered ego dystonic, which means she’s aware that what she’s doing isn’t normal and that only adds to her stress and anxiety because it fucks up her need to be perfect even further.”

“Did you know all this when you met her? I mean about OCD and stuff. You seem to be pretty knowledgeable about it.”

“I studied it in passing during college a few times. I knew enough to recognize it. The first time I met Liberty she was in the middle of a complete breakdown, so I realized right away what was going on.”

“How did you meet?” Sean’s fingers flipped a thin coaster back and forth on the lacquered bar top.

“I’d been working at St. Mary’s. I had a patient rushed in who fell off a train platform. It was Eric. When the train came he didn’t die right away. He was mangled though, and I knew as soon as they wheeled him in he wasn’t going to make it. KarLyn had been hysterical and I think I actually felt bad for her. Of course, that was before I knew what a fucking bitch she was. I remember seeing a small girl standing a few feet behind her looking pale and lost. Her eyes were huge and I thought she was a teenager. She looked so young.

“When Eric died I went to the waiting room to inform the family. That’s when I realized the girl was with KarLyn, but kind of hovering on the periphery. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked like she was about to break. As I told them the bad news I was watching the girl so intently that I missed the change in her mother’s demeanor. All of a sudden the woman turned and cracked the girl across the cheek, knocking her clean off her feet. I was so shocked I couldn’t move for a second.” Mason absently noted how tense Sean had become, much like a mountain lion about to spring on its prey.

“KarLyn began to scream at the girl and that was when I realized Liberty was her daughter. She accused her of causing the accident. Of bringing so much stress to Eric’s life that he was distracted and therefore not paying attention to where he was going. She called her a whore and a hundred other cruel things. I eventually had to get an orderly in there to restrain the bitch before she beat her daughter again. Liberty slipped away in the chaos.

“I found her in a family bathroom on the third floor. I don’t know what made me check in there but thank God I did. She was hysterical and her flesh was burned up to her elbows. She’d been scrubbing herself raw for the forty-five minutes it took me to find her. She was so beside herself she didn’t even hear me enter the restroom. The moment I touched her shoulder she turned around swinging and then broke when I wrapped my arms around her. She crumbled and I held her. I realized then that she was no teenager but a young woman, hiding under loose clothing that disguised her femininity and shape. I sat on the floor holding her for a long time as she fell apart.”

“Jesus,” Sean hissed. “Was she upset that fucking pervert died?”

“No. She was upset because she wished it. Remember how I told you, no matter what, you had to acknowledge what you and Liberty shared the next morning?”

Sean nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, that’s because Eric never did. He would creep into her room like a ghost, harm her, leaving scars on the inside that no one could see and only Liberty could feel, and then he would act perfectly normal the next day. When even her own mother didn’t believe her she began to doubt herself. She held a horrible secret for years, causing her to feel guilt and shame. She doubted her reality and questioned her sanity.”