“I’m not talking about the hot chocolate, Wolfe. I’m talking about the picnic with Ryan. The whole ‘we’re trying for another baby’ thing. What about that?”
“What’s wrong with me saying the truth?”
“We’re not having any more kids. It’s not happening. The whole point of me wanting a divorce is everything else means nothing. You and I, we’re never going to be together like that. Never, ever. You’ve got to realize that.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Why do you want to ruin my life?”
“I’m not trying to ruin your life. I’m simply stating a fact. Ryan, you think he’s coming around here because you’ve both got two sons and can play happy families as a friend. Please, that guy wanted one thing and one thing only.”
“You’re joking, right? Ryan is nothing like that.”
“You’re not the best judge of character.”
“And you are? You married me, Rachel. I got you to believe whatever I wanted you to. You think I’m the only guy like that out there? Don’t be a fucking idiot. He wanted to fuck you. That’s what he wanted. From what I heard today, he’d gladly have a nice warm body to warm his bed and good little wife to keep his kid happy. He wants a wife and mommy, and guess what, you fit the bill perfectly.”
“You think no one would want to be around me just for me? Am I that boring, is that what you’re saying?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.
“No, what I’m saying right now is you give some men way too much credit. I’m not denying there’s a guy out there who wouldn’t want to hang out with you. They’d be crazy not to want to. Believe me, I get it. I don’t want to upset you, but it’s the truth.”
She closed her eyes, and he stepped toward her. The moment he touched her, she tried to pull away.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I don’t want to go through this again with you. Do you think this is easy for me, having you close?” She opened her eyes, and tears filled them. He didn’t want her to fucking cry. This wasn’t what this was about, and yet, here she stood, close to tears, and he felt like a fucking monster.
“Don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it. This isn’t what I want to do, but … you never loved me, Wolfe. All of our time together was a plot for you to get what you wanted. Me walking away, it didn’t have any effect on you at all. It meant nothing to you, just like I mean nothing to you. But I loved you. It wasn’t a stupid crush either. I really loved you. I fell head over heels for you, and walking away, I felt broken inside. You have no idea how long it has been to get over you. Where I can think about you and not cry. Randomly bursting into tears over a damn newspaper. I finally fell out of love with you, but having you here, saying the things I always wanted, it’s hard. I don’t want to be broken by you again. I’m asking you nicely, let me have the divorce because I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
She stepped back, and he watched her leave. At the doorway she stopped. “You need to throw the saucepan away. You can never use metal on a non-stick pan. It scratches the surface.”
She left the room, and he waited for several minutes before pouring the dark milk away. He’d put way too much hot chocolate in, and well, she wasn’t wrong. He saw the scratches on the bottom of the pan. Tossing it into the trash, he made his way upstairs, after making sure every door and window was locked.
He took a quick shower, returned to his room to change, and then checked on Benjamin. His son was fast asleep. He still had a nightlight to help him with the dark, and Wolfe leaned against the doorframe, watching his son sleep.
He looked so peaceful.
When he came to him on the weekends, he would often sit for hours watching him sleep. He missed this boy so much throughout the week.
Pulling the door a little, but not fully closed, he stopped at Rachel’s door. Again, it was closed as she always wanted to hear and be available to Benjamin.
He waited and knew he should go back to his own room.
This wasn’t about hurting her.
Far from it.
Opening the door, he saw she wasn’t ready. The lights were all turned off, and she was curled up, facing the wall.
There was a nice big spot of bed open, just for him. Well, it wasn’t for him, but he was going to forget about that tiny little detail.
As he climbed into the bed, she let out a gasp.