Second (Betrothed 6)

“If that were true—”

“Let me finish.” He slowly lowered his hand.

I turned quiet even though I shouldn’t obey.

“It’s hard for me. It’s as hard for me as it is for you.”

I wanted to argue, but I kept my mouth shut.

“I’m sorry I kissed you. When we were on the balcony, I forgot about the party inside, I forgot about Liam inside, I forgot about everything. All I could do was feel…feel the woman beside me. I wanted you, and I let my inhibitions go down the drain. But you don’t understand how I look at you, how I think you’re stunning each and every time I see you.”

How could he say all these romantic things but not want to be with me?

“I’m not using you. I’m not taking advantage of you. I’m not playing you. I never told you this, but I didn’t end things because I wanted to…”

My eyes narrowed.

“I did it because I had to.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets and let them hang by his sides, his shoulders rigid and tight. He stared at me with sincerity in his eyes, his voice softer than it’d ever been. “The Skull King took my father and was going to execute him because of something I did. It was a punishment. And the only reason my father is alive right now is because Hades got to him before they pulled the trigger. My life is always in jeopardy, but that’s never been important to me. But my family…the people I care about…I can’t handle that. And when I imagined him taking you…it terrified me. So, the next time I saw you, I broke it off.”

That information should comfort me, but it didn’t. It made me regret what I’d lost even more, that I could still have the man I really wanted if he’d just told me the truth. “You should have told me, Damien…”

He lowered his gaze.

“This whole time, I’ve been living in the past, wondering if you ever felt anything for me when it seemed like you did, and it would have prevented a lot of heartbreak. And that was my decision to stay or leave. I should have been the one to decide if I could tolerate the risk…because I would have stayed.”

He lifted his gaze again, touched by my words. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you, Annabella.”

When I took my next breath, I felt the pain all the way into my lungs.

“I would never put you in danger. You deserve more than that.” His eyes were focused on me, shining like emeralds.

“Then walk away…” That was the easiest decision, to abandon the dangers altogether.

He was quiet for a long time as he considered the suggestion. “Hades left the business for his wife. That was the right decision for him because he loves her…and they’re supposed to be together. But that’s not me… That’s not us.”

I understood what he was saying, and it hurt. He didn’t love me…and he was saying it as gently as possible.

He was quiet for a long time, his eyes focused on the painting on the wall. The tension rose and filled the room with suffocating heat. When he turned back to me, he spoke again. “It’s not easy for me to be around you because my feelings haven’t changed. When I look at you, it still feels like you’re mine. When I see tears on your face, I want to be the one to fix them. When I see a man hold you, I want to be the one who has my hands on you. I bowed out because I wasn’t willing to abandon my work for you, and it pisses me off that Liam won’t stop fighting when that’s what you want. If a man is going to have a wife, she’s his number one commitment. She gets whatever she wants. And if you can’t handle the responsibility, then don’t marry her.”

He spoke so passionately about marriage, and I knew he got his opinions from Hades and Sofia…and that made me wish I were married to him now. I wanted a man who committed, who would put his wife first, not second. I still wished he was the man I came home to every day.

“I couldn’t let you continue thinking I was using you…because that’s not true. But I hope I didn’t just make this worse.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his head, his fingers brushing through the soft strands I used to fist every night.

“There’s risk with everything we do, Damien. Any man who has money is dangerous. Liam has enemies that could hurt me to get back at him. Even the bank is dangerous if you piss off the wrong person. I wish you had talked to me about this because I don’t care about the risk. I would rather be happy and live on the edge than have a dull and safe life.”