Rock 'n' Roll Baby

“I think you have me confused with your family, sweetheart.”

I probably should be offended by her words, but they’re the truth. There’s nothing she could say about them that I haven’t heard or thought myself before. “You’re not better than anyone. You couldn’t keep Linc. Now you really know that.” With that, she turns, strolling off.

What did that even mean? I’ve never thought I was better than anyone. I look up to see people looking my way. They turn, trying to pretend they weren’t watching the show. Is that what everyone here thinks? I suddenly feel very out of place. This whole school feels different without Linc. I grab my stuff, shoving everything into my backpack. My stomach starts to turn.

“Not again,” I whisper to myself as I pick up my pace, heading into one of the girls’ bathrooms. I barely make it into the stall and the donuts I ate from the vending machine for lunch are coming up. I close my eyes as emotions flood me. This can’t be happening. When I exit the stall, a few girls snicker walking out. I catch my reflection in the mirror. I look tired. I am tired. I’ve been sleeping like shit. I thought it was because I was missing Linc, but maybe there is more to it. There is only one way to find out. That will have to wait, though. I still have one more class to get through.

The rest of the day drags by slowly. When it’s finally time to leave, I head straight to the pharmacy thankful Linc left me his car. My hands are shaking by the time I get home. I read the directions. I can’t be pregnant but it’s the only thing that adds up. I’m on the pill. I read the directions three more times as if they are hard to understand before taking the test.

My phone rings a few times in my bag. I know it’s Linc, but I can’t answer it now. I have to know. This could change so much for both of us. I stare down at the test, waiting for the lines to show up. How long did it say? Then within seconds the two blue lines come up. I drop back down onto the toilet, my body going numb. My phone keeps ringing. I bring my hand to my stomach.

I am pregnant. My eyes fill with tears. How can I be happy and so fucking scared at the same time? What will Linc say? Will he be excited or as freaked out as me?

“Will you turn that fucking phone off? I’m trying to take a damn nap.” My mom bangs on the bathroom door.

“Sorry,” I shout back, grabbing the phone out of my bag. “Hey,” I answer.

“You okay? I’ve been calling since school got out.”

“Yeah. What’s going on?” I hear Nick and Benjy in the background, clearly excited about something.

“We signed, Cherry. We have a label.”

“I knew it.” I burst into tears. I don’t know if they’re happy, sad or everything in between. “You did it.”

“I love you so damn much, baby. We’re going to have it all.” I cry hard. He’s getting everything he’s ever wanted.

“I love you too.” I sit down on the floor, tucking my legs into my body. “Tell me everything.” I close my eyes, listening to his voice. It’s the one thing that has always grounded me. My news will have to wait for another time.

Chapter Eleven

Linc

I’m on edge. Nick and Benjy would say it’s because we are about to take the stage at the Troubadour, a legendary LA nightclub. It is the right reason to be nervous. This club has hosted everyone from Elton John and Tom Waits to Joni Mitchell. Playing on the same stage as those legends would give anyone butterflies. I think that’s why Nick’s already broken one drumstick and Benjy can’t stop fiddling with his bass strings, but I’m not worried about our set at all. There’s never been a time where we’ve practiced more or a period where we’ve been so completely immersed in our music from the time we get up until we go to bed.

We’ve been in the studio with beatmakers and songwriters who have written such huge hits that I feel like I don’t belong in the same room as them. And I’m having fun working with all these legends and icons. The music that we’ve been making is the best we’ve ever laid down.

I should be on the top of the world and I’m almost there. Like, I’m right below the apex but I can’t stop thinking about—and missing—Cherry. Even now as we’re about to step out into the spotlight, I feel off as if my guitar is slightly out of tune or I’m half a beat slow. All the lyrics coming out of me are sad as fuck, too, even for the bops.