Hot Mess

“Makes sense.” He slipped his to rest on the back of the sofa and looked out at the water. “Do you want to take some pizza back with you?”

“Why? Are you kicking me out?”

“No!” He returned his gaze to me. “I just thought you’d want to go back and deal with this.”

“I never want to deal with this,” I replied honestly. “But it’s past five so she won’t even be in the office. It’ll get done in the morning.”

“Then you can stay as long as you like.”

“Do you have multiple personalities? A few days ago, you told me to stay away from Ari. Now, I can’t get rid of you.”

Theo grinned. “What can I say? You’re growing on me. Quickly.”

“Growing on you? What am I, a fungus?”

Laughing, he wrapped his arm around me again and squeezed. “You know what I mean. It’s weird. I don’t want to spend time with anyone, but I like being around you.”

“Oh, no. You’re not going to use the whole, “But you’re different than the others, Elle,” line on me, are you?”

“You are different. My child won’t leave you alone. Even if I didn’t want to spend time with you, I don’t think Ari would give me much of a choice.”

“Mm,” I hummed. “You know what your problem is? I think you’ve got a hero complex.”

“A hero complex?”

“Yes. Like a Disney prince or something.”

“I don’t know. A British prince and an American woman? History doesn’t really side with that, does it?”

“True that,” I muttered. “I still think you have a hero complex.”

“Well, we’ll see how much hero is in me when I kick your arse at Monopoly.”

“Remember when I called you a perfect gentleman?” I said when he stood up.

“Yes, yesterday.”

“Not so much now.”

CHAPTER TWELVE – ELLE

“You literally cheated!”

I gasped. “I did not cheat!”

Ari sighed and folded the board back up. “Dad, don’t be a loser.”

“I already lost!” Theo sat back on the sofa. “I am a loser.”

I looked at Ari. “He doesn’t lose this game much, does he?”

She put the lid on the box and shook her head. “Never, ever, ever. He always wins. I think he’s the cheater.”

“I am not a cheater,” Theo insisted.

“No, but you are a loser.” I grinned from my cross-legged position on the floor next to the coffee table. “A big. Fat. Loser.”

He held up his hands. “No need to be a sore winner.”

“Sore losers need a sore winner.”

“Whatever. You cheated.”

“Give up, Dad.” Ari rolled her eyes and picked up the board game. “I didn’t see her cheat.”

“You’re not supposed to. That’s kind of the point.” Then he frowned. “You’re supposed to be on my side?”

“No.”

I laughed and sat on the sofa at the opposite end to Theo. “Oh, come on. Kids never side with their parents. It’s like an unwritten rule of childhood.”

Ari nodded her head in full agreement.

“All right, I’m not gonna sit here and have you two form a clique to bully me,” he teased. “Ari, go and take your shower please.”

She groaned, dipping her head back. “Why do I have to shower every single day?”

“Because you get dirty every single day,” he said so automatically I just knew this was a daily conversation they had.

Another sigh, but Ari did as she was told and went upstairs.

“You do that daily, don’t you?” I asked.

“Every single day.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I think she does it now just to do it. It’s not like she doesn’t know she has to shower every day before bed. It’s been a thing for three years.”

I grinned. “You are going to have so much fun with her when she’s in her teen years.”

“You and I have very different definitions of fun,” he said dryly. “I’m not looking forward to that at all. It’s already starting.”

“Ooh, that’s gonna be rough.”

“You could be supportive and give me advice.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure what advice to give to a man who has to guide a teenage girl through the most troubled years of her life. Buy noise canceling headphones? Educate yourself on tampons? Invest in something stronger than beer? Find God, because you’re gonna need him?”

“That really wasn’t the support I was going for.”

I snorted. “I’m not going to lie to you. Puberty sucks. Girls are the worst. I have no idea how my parents did it with two girls without anyone dying.”

There was a knock at the door, and Theo got up. “Maybe I should have spent more time on dating the last few years. Someone who knows what they’re doing would be helpful.”

I laughed.

“Aunt Elsie,” he said, surprised.

I peered through the doorway into the hall.

“Can we—”

“No,” he said immediately.

“But—”

“No.”

“Theodore—”

“Do not call me Theodore.”

I grinned. Theodore. Why hadn’t I assumed that was his full name?

“Then stop interrupting me, you rude child.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Then do stop acting like one and let me in.” She shoved past him, letting herself in, and stopped when she saw me. “Elle! My new friend!”