No way can I take that chance. I gotta be careful.
I finally break the kiss first, pulling away from her mouth slightly and she snaps her lids open, staring at me in wonder. “What was that for?” she whispers.
“For them.” I tilt my head, indicating the reporters outside. And maybe I kissed her a little for me, too. Just to test her out. See what it was like—kissing her.
It was pretty damn good.
Forget that.
It was fucking amazing.
It’s way too early on a Saturday morning. I forgot to close the blinds last night before I went to bed, so the bright morning sun is shining into my room like an unwanted intruder, illuminating the entire space with too much cheerful light. Groaning, I roll over and pull one of my pillows along with me, covering my head and blocking out the light. I just want to go back to sleep, though I doubt that’s going to happen.
I barely slept last night. Instead I tossed and turned. All I could think about was Wade kissing me. What a casual gesture it had been, almost like an afterthought. How he called me to him, leaned over the console and pressed his lips to mine, never bothering to give me a warning that he was going to actually kiss me. Like it was no big deal. He just—did it, and threw me for a complete loop.
I’d been so startled at first, I didn’t know how to react. I hadn’t reacted, period. I just remained completely still, his perfectly warm lips gently coaxing mine to respond.
And then…gradually…I did respond. I automatically wanted more. So much more…
When he pulled away seconds later, I had to fight the disappointment that threatened to overwhelm me. It was over. He acted like what just happened was no big deal. That the kiss we just shared had merely been a part of our agreement while I sat there blinking up at him like a dork, thoroughly confused. What we’re doing is supposed to be fake.
So why did that kiss feel so damn real?
That’s why I couldn’t sleep last night. After all that talk about love and what a crock of shit it is, how relationships are nothing but trouble, he goes and kisses me like he means it and makes me want things I can’t have.
I have no one to talk about any of this with either. No way can I turn to Fable. She’ll think I’m pitiful for hoping what Wade and I are doing might turn into something…I don’t know…
Real?
Yeah. Can’t go to her. Can’t go to Gabe either. He wouldn’t understand. First of all, he’s a guy. Second of all, he’s my brother. Yikes. Third of all, he doesn’t know how to give advice, or even listen for very long. Yes, his girlfriend Lucy has softened him, but he’s still my impatient, all-knowing brother.
So instead I let the thoughts eat me up inside. Until I can’t stand it anymore and I leap out of bed, taking a shower and getting ready for my day so I can spend time with little Jacob and Autumn. Fable told me I could sleep in and that I only had to work a half-day taking care of the kids. Eventually we’re all going to the game together, though Fable will be watching it from the skybox with the children. I’ll be down in the stands and close to the field—as close as I can get, according to Drew and Wade. They want me to put on a big show, rooting for my new boyfriend and making a scene.
It’s kind of lame, how excited I am to put on this big show just for my supposed man. The man who isn’t mine at all—but I’m pretending he is.
Ugh.
If I think about this for too long, I’ll realize just how lame and extremely pitiful it really is. What we’re doing is ridiculous. Worse? I can’t stop thinking about him. Ever since that kiss—which really wasn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of kissing—Wade Knox has consumed my thoughts.
Completely.
There’s a knock on my bedroom door just as I’m coming out of the en suite bathroom. I’ve already taken my shower and I’m dressed, though I haven’t dried my hair or put on makeup yet. I go to answer the door, but it opens before I can get there.
Wade barges in, looking sheepish as he closes the door behind him. “Hey. Good morning.” He leans against the door, his gaze wandering the length of me and making me warm.
“You’re lucky I wasn’t naked,” I tell him, resting my hands on my hips, pretending to be annoyed. I’m trying to be pissed that he just barged in here before making sure it was okay, but really I’m flat out thrilled to see him in my room. It’s like I conjured him up in my thoughts and he magically appeared. And I’m not protesting.
Wade seems to eat up all the space with his massive presence, until he becomes all I can see.
“I don’t know about that,” he drawls, making me blush. Ugh, this man. I can’t let myself fall for him.
I can’t.
“Why are you here?”
“I had to show you what’s going on. Figured you’d want to know.” He takes a tentative step, and when I don’t run for it, he shifts closer, until he’s standing right beside me with his phone in his hands and he’s scrolling, looking for something. “Here, check this out.”
Wade hands me his phone. He’s pulled up the TMZ webpage, and there’s a photo of the two of us together from last night, leaving the restaurant. The small article that accompanies the photo states that the Naughty Nanny has already found a new boyfriend—and that would be Wade Knox, an old family friend of Drew and Fable Callahan’s, and a recently drafted player for the Niners.
That naughty nanny thing is such crap. It’s humiliating, how they won’t let that go.