Anna felt equal parts exposed and protected. Did he feel the same? Was it the power of the afterglow, or was there more? Even when her brother had insisted that she couldn’t trust Jacob, Anna couldn’t buy into it. Her gut told her that she could. Plus, she didn’t want to believe that the man who’d once turned down sex out of respect for a friendship would do anything less than the right thing. She might be inching closer to the edge of a treacherous place, but she wanted to believe that Jacob would tug her back if she put herself in the path of true danger. He had to. She didn’t want to think anything less of him.
“I don’t want to burden you with the minutiae of what happened between Adam and me,” he said, breaking the silence between them. “We’re having such an amazing night. I don’t dare mess with that.”
She propped herself up on her elbow and gazed down into his face. He was so gorgeous that it boggled the mind sometimes, even more so at this moment, when he’d given her a glimpse of how deep the waters running through him really were. Would she ever fully know those depths? If she were to live in this instant for all eternity, she wanted nothing more than to drown in them, sink to the bottom and never come up for air. There was so much to learn—she hungered for it.
But was it the right thing to do? To dive in, knowing the repercussions? Was it her weakness for him that was making her so eager to do the foolhardy thing? Maybe. Probably. Did she care? Not really. There were no guarantees, regardless of the situation two people found themselves in. It was up to them to find a way. No one could do it for them.
He rolled toward her and placed the softest, sexiest, most intimate kiss on her lips, plunging her into the sea she longed to get lost in. His hand wound to the small of her back, fingers drawing delicate circles against her skin. She could do nothing more than press against him—the inches between them felt so absurd. Pointless. Of course they should be together. Even if it might bring everything crashing down.
Ten
Life quickly became a beautiful blur, weeks of weekend trysts and countless late-night rendezvous. Sneaking around wasn’t Anna’s preference, but she couldn’t deny herself the glory of time with Jacob, so as difficult as it was, they took great care to keep things a secret.
It was working for the most part, although there were times when it was touch and go. One day in the office, Adam had asked why she was so tired. Was she coming down with something? She couldn’t tell him the truth, that she and Jacob had been up until all hours making love, intermixed with eating ice cream in bed and watching bad reality television. So she’d said that she simply wasn’t sleeping well. It wasn’t a real lie, or at least not a big one, but the tiny untruths were beginning to hang over her like a dark cloud.
“What do you want to do tonight? What if we went out for a change?” Jacob asked over the phone as Anna sat at her desk.
“You know we can’t do that. What if someone sees us together?” It was the awful truth, but tonight it was more of a convenient excuse. She glanced at the clock on her laptop and began packing up her things. If she was going to beat Jacob back to his apartment, she needed to leave now. She’d scrambled to put together a small birthday surprise—nothing too elaborate, but she hoped he would enjoy it.
“Anna. We can’t do this forever. We need to get out of the house now and then. Not that I don’t want to leave you tied to my bed. I do.”
She smiled. It was hard not to—he was so good at working in the comments that reminded her how much he wanted her. Her most girlish tendencies lived for those moments. “You’re right. We’ll talk about it tonight. Your place?” He was right. They couldn’t do this forever. Something would have to give, and that something bore a remarkable resemblance to her brother.
“Yes,” he answered, seeming a bit exasperated. “I’ll be home by seven. You have your key?”
“I do.” He’d given it to her a few days ago, as a “just in case.” She wasn’t entirely sure of what that meant, but it made a surprise dinner possible.
“Anna?” he asked, with a sexy, leading tone.
“Yes?” she replied, knowing full well what he was about to say.
“I miss you.”
She smiled, absentmindedly trailing her fingers along her collarbone. I miss you—three silly words they’d been saying to each other for a few weeks. It was one of their many secrets, the things they hid from the rest of the world. Were they a placeholder for “I love you”? Those particular three words hadn’t come yet, however much she hoped that they would. They’d sat on her lips several times, but would he return them? Just like the ill-fated kiss years ago, the thought of that kind of rejection was too much. Wait, she’d told herself. It would happen. They would find a way. She had to believe.