“Jason?” my mother calls from behind me as I walk Skyler out of the kitchen and out the back door so no one else can stop us.
“What are you doing?” Skyler hisses at me when I get her outside and next to my truck.
“Taking you home,” I scold, opening up the door and picking her up. “It’s where you should have been to begin with, not running into my brother.”
“I was just trying to get some pie. Like I had any idea who he was.” She’s good and pissed now, which for some reason makes me want her even more.
“I’ll be the only one getting you pie.” I slam the door closed and walk around to my side. I realize that I sound crazy but I can’t stop myself. I’m a loose cannon when it comes to her. When I get in the cab I crank the truck up and drive towards her apartment. “We’ll stop and get you one on the way.” I grip the steering wheel tighter and force myself not to look at her. If I do, I won’t be able to let her go.
“Jason, this is insane. Just let me out of the car and I’ll get my own ride home. I don’t need you to take care of me.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.”
“Ugh.” She throws her hands up and I can hear the frustration in her voice. “You make no sense. You say stuff like I’m yours, but you ghosted me.”
“With my sister?” I glance over to her and she rolls her eyes again.
“I may have seen you with her and assumed she was another woman, but that doesn’t explain why the hell you disappeared. One second you had your hands on—” She blushes as she looks out the window and clears her throat. “You just seemed interested and then you weren’t. It felt like something changed and I don’t get it.”
“Goddamn it, Sky.” I bang my fist on the steering wheel as I park in front of the pie shop I know she loves. “Sit here and wait. Do you think you can do that?”
She doesn’t look at me as she nods and I get out. I try to be quick because I’m terrified she’s going to run. I got lost in work for one hour before I headed to my parents for family dinner. I wasn’t checking the tracking on her as closely as I should have been throughout today. She slipped through my fingers for a second and then she shows up out of nowhere with Jon. I’m going to murder him when I get back to the house, but I can handle that. What I can’t handle is Sky walking around the world without me by her side to protect her from shit like getting knocked down and scraping her knees.
“I need three key lime, one lemon, a strawberry, and two cherry,” I say as I slide the cash across the counter.
I glance back over my shoulder and when I see she’s still in the cab some of the pressure in my chest releases.
I’ll never be whole, not as long as I’m not by her side every moment of every day, but she doesn’t deserve to have me on her like this. At least with her knowing about it.
It’s not right, a man wanting to be on a woman like I do with her. I have the urge to lie on top of her and shield her from everyone else in the world. I want to carry her in my arms all the time so she’s safe and protected. I want to know every single thought inside her head and share every moment of her day with her. This kind of obsession is so over the top that I know I’ve probably lost my damn mind. But Sky is what my whole life revolves around and if I have to do that from a distance to keep from putting out her light, then I will.
I thought by stepping back that she would be better off, but the hurt in her eyes when she first saw me cut a piece of my heart. I don’t want her to hate me, but what choice is there? I thought I could love her from afar. That it would be enough but today proves that would never work. When I saw my brother touch her, I lost it. It would only have been a matter of time before she went on a date and I could have come unhinged then. This was inevitable.
I grab the stack of boxes and walk out to the truck. I place them between us and I hate the separation. I should have just tossed them in the back and hoped for the best, but I want her to have everything her heart desires.