The whole way to work I smile thinking about all the things we’d done. I can almost feel his hands and mouth all over me and it makes me feel so light and free. It’s silly to compare the love I had for my mother to Jason because she was evil and vindictive. She’d hurt anyone to get what she wanted and the only person that didn’t get her wrath was my father. That was because he had a sick obsession of his own and enjoyed the way my mother treated him.
He didn’t care that she ignored me because he only cared about himself. I was the accident and I think my mom thought it would help tie my father to her more. It didn’t work because he didn’t care if I was there or not. If anything, he got more annoyed if I took my mother’s attention from him.
I was supposed to fall in line and stay out of the way, but after they realized the mistake they’d made having a child, it was easy to leave that life behind. They would toss money my way so that I’d stay out of their hair—from nannies to boarding school and then they tried to push me into college. I was over it and over them.
I left and they never came looking for me. I never looked back and that was almost a year ago now. For some reason, I thought at one point maybe they would track me down but they didn’t. I don’t ever see Jason being that way because I’ve seen how his family is. They all love each other so much and he even said himself they would try and hog my attention and he wasn’t ready for that yet.
I get that now. We need our time alone because we’re fresh and new. It took everything in me to not call him back last night, but it was good for me. I got to let my mind settle and to rethink everything, even some of the crazy things Jason had been doing this whole time. At the end of the day he was doing what he thought was best for me.
Isn’t that what’s always important? If you truly love someone you put them first and that’s what he’s done. He left because he thought it was the right thing to do even though he was really there the whole time. He promised me he’d never do that again and I believe him. I don’t think he could leave if he tried. Last night tested all of his control.
I clock into work and grab my cleaning cart. When I get on the elevator I look to the top floor button. I don’t know why but I press it. It’s the one that used to go to Jason’s floor. The button lights up before the door closes and the elevator starts to rise.
When the elevator opens I’m surprised to see a front desk. I step out and bring my cart with me. There was nothing left on the floor before and as I glance around I can see now the place is filled. My eyes go to the mounted sign behind the front desk, where I see Fisher & Taylor etched in glass.
He really did get it all back, not that it mattered to me. I would be happy snuggled up on my day bed with Jason in my tiny studio apartment for the rest of my days, but Jason’s a driven man. He would take pride in taking care of me and the thought has my hand going to my stomach. I could be pregnant right now for all I know and I can’t help the bubble of excitement that rises.
Our family would be so different from the one I’d grown up in. My child and I would never be alone because I have a new family now. I hadn’t been looking as I drifted through each day and now I’m going to have it all. Jason isn’t going anywhere and the world is so different now that I have someone to lean on. I didn’t realize it until this exact moment and when it hits me I know what I have to do. When I get back home I’m going to say the words to him I should have said already. I love him.
The elevator chimes and I turn to see who it is because I shouldn’t even be on this floor.
My mouth falls open when I see my father step off the elevator and his eyes roam over me in my cleaning uniform. He glances to the cleaning cart before he sees the sign behind the front desk and he looks over at me in disgust.
“You clean for them?”
I haven’t seen him in over a year and that’s the first thing he says to me? His face is filled with confusion.