Finding His Unicorn

“You told me it was a costume picnic.”

Shelly bursts into laughter. “Have you ever heard of a picnic costume party before?” She gives me a look that says I’m the dumbest person in the world. Maybe I am, but part of me is hoping that I’m more trusting than anything.

“Don’t look so upset about it,” Tiffany snips at me. “Count it as, like, an initiation.” It doesn’t feel like I’m being initiated into anything except a circle of mean girls. I’m going to keep my head down and stop trying to be friends with these people.

“I think I’m going to leave,” I say.

Now that Mike’s shirt is off I can see his tattoo. He should find a shirt with full sleeves to cover it up. Instead of putting his shirt on, he throws it over his bare shoulder and I secretly hope he gets a sunburn. Luckily all the girls start trying to get his attention and I realize this is my chance to sneak away.

I turn to make a run for it but then jerk back as Mike steps his foot down on my tail. I hear a rip and realize the tail probably partially tore off, but then I hear the sound of a tick tick tick. Whatever weird device Rie put in there, it doesn’t sound too happy about being stomped on.

Sparks start to fly out of the end of the tail and glitter begins to shoot out of it too. It almost looks like a 4th of July sparkler until part of the grass starts to catch on fire and I realize the tail is still connected to me with half my ass showing!

I scream but everyone stands there in shock. Of course this is how I’m doing to die. I can see the headlines now. Unicorn Goes Up in Flames at Company Barbecue. At this point I don’t think things can get worse, but then out of nowhere pops up the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.

I am in sheer panic mode but all I can see are the perfect dimples on either side of his cheeks. I’m starting to think maybe I’ve already caught fire and I’m in heaven because no man on earth should look that good.

Chapter Four

Blaze

There’s smoke all around her and several people nearby stomping out the flames in the grass. Luckily it rained earlier today so I don’t think there’s chance of a wildfire, but we’ll still make sure. Chief grabs the equipment from the back and goes in spraying while shouting for people to back up.

The sound of an ambulance blares in the distance as it gets closer, and I call in to dispatch to report what’s going on. As I get closer I see what looks like a mess of pastel paint and glitter at the center of it all. And if I haven’t lost my mind completely, it looks like a Roman candle is coming out of her barely covered ass.

“I think…” I pause with the radio up to my mouth. “I’ve found a unicorn?”

“What?” Wanda calls from the other end of the radio, but I ignore her.

This isn’t the time to be unprofessional, but dear Lord this poor girl is a mess and I’m trying to hide my smile. I’ve always been told I’ve got a baby face because I’ve still got chubby cheeks with overly pronounced dimples and lips that would make a Real Housewife jealous.

“Hey there, Officer,” a woman nearby offers as she looks me up and down. There’s a dude standing next to her with no shirt on and I’m not sure why. This doesn’t really seem like the place for it.

Just as I get closer to the unicorn I see Chief blast her back end with the fire extinguisher and the flames from the tail dissipate. It’s then I finally see her face fully and just as soon as we lock eyes she bursts into tears.

Suddenly the scene isn’t so comical anymore and I have this need to go to her and make it okay. I rush straight up to her and she practically falls into my arms as the crowd of people around her just stare.

I’m angry that not only were they just looking at her while her costume was on fire, but no one is offering to comfort her while she’s obviously in distress. Who the fuck are these people?

“Clear out!” I shout to the crowd and it only takes a second before they start to back away. “Shh, it’s okay,” I say as she releases big, heaving sobs against my chest.

“What’s the situation?” I hear from beside me. The EMTs are on the scene.

“Possible burn injury on her…um—”

“Her ass,” Chief says as he sprays her once more with the fire extinguisher.

“What the hell, Chief?” I say, waving away some of the foam, and he just shrugs.