Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding 3)

“Can’t sleep,” she whispered.

“Me either.”

“Thinking about you.”

“Yeah.”

Lexi leaned against the entrance to the hallway and fiddled with her hair hanging loose over one shoulder. She wasn’t wearing more than a tank top and sleeping shorts, but she couldn’t be self-conscious in front of Jack.

“What should I do?” she whispered, wishing she had all the answers.

“Sleep on it and decide in the morning.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s for the better,” she agreed. “Come with me?”

Jack took a deep breath. “Where?”

Her eyes found him in the darkness before she responded. “Bed.”

“Lex,” he groaned huskily.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“I…I can’t.”

“Please,” she begged.

Jack kicked his feet over the side and ran his hand through his hair. After taking a deep breath, he walked across the room to stand in front of her. “You’re still engaged.”

“I know.” Lexi nodded, meeting his eyes. “I’m not asking you to sleep with me…”

“I can’t promise you that I won’t.” His hands found her hips, and he gripped them tightly in his hand.

He was fighting for control. She could feel it rolling off of every inch of him.

“I didn’t ask you to,” she said, biting her lip. Her eyes flitted back to the ground, and she felt him reflexively pull her against him.

“I don’t want to hurt you ever again…”

“You’re not hurting me,” she said, finding his hand and pulling it into hers. “I’m just asking you to hold me. Please.”

She tugged on his arm, and with only a moment’s hesitation, he followed her down the hallway and back into his room. Jack closed the door behind them as Lexi snuggled back under the covers. Her heart was fluttering in her chest with anticipation. She licked her lips again and tried not to think about what she was doing. Nothing was happening.

Jack crawled into bed next to her, and she could feel her pulse in the tips of her fingers.

He set her body on fire.

“Lex,” he whispered.

She could feel the charged space between them and realized that she was even more awake now than she had been before.

“I can’t…”

Lexi pushed her body into him, and he stopped talking. She relaxed against his chest, fitting into him like the missing puzzle piece. His hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her flush against his body, his head falling onto her shoulder.

“God, you smell so good,” he groaned, breathing her in.

His body was warm, and together like this, it was like an inferno. They hadn’t been together like this since his birthday and before that…New York. All of the resistance that she had put up melted away in an instant, and she wondered how she had ever said no. She remembered why she had been an idiot all those years. She remembered why it had all been worth it to her.

But she wouldn’t…couldn’t do this with him. She was still engaged. If she slept with Jack tonight, like her body was practically demanding in that moment, then she would be completely in the wrong. It wouldn’t be her decision with Ramsey anymore. She would have f**ked up another relationship, no matter if it was already in a weakened condition. She had sworn she would never do that to Ramsey…ever. Even where they were now, she knew that she had to hold on to that. If she were with Jack now, then she would be no better than Ramsey having feelings for Parker.

With a groan, Lexi pulled away from Jack. “I can’t either,” she said, turning to face him.

He dropped his head to the pillow with a sigh. “I know.”

“We’re friends,” she said, trying to put back up the barrier that they had worked so hard to achieve, the barrier she had single-handedly knocked down.

“I can’t just be your friend,” he breathed huskily into the darkness.

Lexi couldn’t make out the outline of his jawline or the smirk she knew that played across his face or the shaggy set of his hair that perpetually fell into his eyes. But she knew what it all looked like by memory. His breath, hot on her face, made her eyes close, conjuring those memories that she desperately tried to hold back.

“You have to be,” she managed to get out. She didn’t even sound like herself. She wasn’t herself when she was with him. She was his.

Seth had said it the best all that time ago—when they were together, there was no one else.

“No.” His hand found her fingers and slowly pried them apart, and then he slipped his hand into hers.

She didn’t even fight him.

“See.”

“What?” she asked, pressing her palm against his as his thumb stroked up her hand.

“We fit together perfectly,” he murmured. “Don’t let anyone tell you different.”

Lexi whimpered at the words falling from his lips that she so desperately craved. It wasn’t fair. It was too late. Too damn late. Why now?

“No, Jack.”

“We’ve tried being friends. It was the only thing we hadn’t tried,” he said, his voice changing.

He had a commanding edge to him that pushed aside what she had been saying.

“I gave it a shot, Lex. I gave you your space. I let you be happy. That’s what you said you wanted.” He gripped her hand a little harder. “How did that work out? Are you happy? Are you happy without me?”

“Jack,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes once again.

“I know I wasn’t.”

Chapter 21

Lexi spent the next four days, alternating between locking herself away at work and Jack’s apartment. The case was coming to a close. She could see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least things were going well in her professional life even if her personal life was shit. Her secretary had even stopped her on Monday morning to ask if she was all right. Lexi hadn’t thought that she looked that bad, but apparently, that hadn’t been the case.

She had splurged over the weekend and bought some new clothes, so she wouldn’t have to go home. She had felt guilty about it…about spending the money and about avoiding her place.

She had known she needed to talk to Ramsey. He had freaked out when she hadn’t come home the next night.