Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding 3)

She turned around and smacked his chest again. He let her lash out without even trying to stop her. She wasn’t really hurting him, but she wished that she had the energy to. She wished she had the energy to fight him and not cave to his words.

“I wanted you gone, but then when I was around you again, it felt right. It always feels so right and so easy. Then, you were my friend…even when I thought you were going to try something…even when I f**king wanted it, you held back. You were the only person aside from Chyna that I could count on. Do you know how f**king strange that has been? But I didn’t just like it…I started craving it. You were always there to pick me up. You even defended me against Bekah…your own f**ked-up wife. I let you be that person. And now what?”

Lexi stopped fighting him and hung her head low. Her hands still rested on his chest where she had been hitting him.

“You’re still here. You’re still a part of me. I can’t seem to get rid of you, Jack. And I don’t want to,” she whispered, defeated.

“And I don’t want you to either,” he said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Seth has always said that you’re my girl. Well…I’m your guy. I always have been. I’ve just been too damn scared to do anything about it. But I’ll be damned if I let you slip through my fingers again. I’m yours. You’re mine. Just…be mine.”

“It’s not that easy, Jack,” she said, tears pooling in her eyes.

His thumbs brushed against her cheeks, sweeping away the fallen tears. “Nothing is ever easy with us, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth fighting for. The best things in life are worth fighting for, and you’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.”

She couldn’t breathe. It was just like Jack to flip her world upside down. It was just like him to make her feel the most intense emotions. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jack continued, “I don’t want it to be easy. I just want it to be right, and the only way it’s ever going to be right is with you.”

“I need to…I need to sleep on it. I need to talk to Ramsey. I can’t…I’m not in the right mind-set to make a decision,” she said, trying to forestall this, trying to hold back. Because if she let loose, then she didn’t know what would happen. She had to change the subject, or she might combust. “What are you going to do about work?”

Jack waved off the question. “I don’t care. I’ll get another job. I’ve already been looking.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere. Does it even matter? I’ll go anywhere as long as I have you,” he said with earnest.

“Jack, you’re still married,” she reminded him, hoping to put some much-needed distance between them.

Jack groaned and shook his head. He looked like talking about his marriage at the moment was the last thing on his mind.

He wanted her. He f**king wanted her. How long had she been craving those words?

But could she even trust that they would last? Could she trust that if another predictable blonde walked by, he wouldn’t walk, too? Two years ago, she would have said with certainty that he would run scared. He would find another Danielle, another Kate, another Bekah. He would look for something stable and solid, just like he had said, and leave her behind in the dust.

Second-best.

That was what she had been for so long. But she didn’t feel second-best any longer. Sure, they hadn’t been working toward a romantic relationship for the past two years, but they had been working toward a relationship. They had been working toward a friendship. And it was as solid and stable and perfect as she could have ever wanted from anyone…let alone, Jack.

He hadn’t put her second.

He had exchanged the D-Bags tickets for the front row because he knew she wanted to be closer. He hadn’t put a move on her, and he had respected her relationship with Ramsey. He had defended her to Bitch Bekah against Elisa. He had followed her that night on the beach. Even drunk and desperate, he had told her to leave his place. He hadn’t wanted to f**k up her relationship. And then, when her relationship was in shambles, he had still waited four whole days before telling her how he felt and risking his feelings. And she was almost certain that he wouldn’t have said anything at all if he had thought that she was going to go running back to Ramsey on that first day.

“I’ll be divorced in three weeks. I’ll let Bekah say whatever she wants. I’ll just get it over with, and then I’ll be free.”

“You can’t let her win like that,” Lexi said, the lawyer in her coming out automatically.

“She’s not winning when I’m gone.”

“She won’t see it like that. You need to fight.”

“I don’t want to prolong the proceedings. I just want her gone,” he said earnestly.

Lexi bit her lip and closed her eyes. She couldn’t do this right now. She couldn’t think about this with Jack’s words spiraling through her mind.

“Lex, look at me,” he whispered. “Please.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she stared into his baby blue eyes.

“I already told you what I think. I think you should leave him. Not because of me, but for you. To save this,” he said, pointing at her heart. “I just want you to open your eyes and do what your heart wants. Does it want that person, that life?”

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and then straightened, giving her the space she needed.

“I took what you said to heart, and I tried to listen to you. I tried to commit, to work through my issues, to let you go, to let you be happy. You were the catalyst, but I did those things for me. I did them to make me a better person,” he told her. “You once asked why you weren’t good enough for me when my eyes were open. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with what was wrong with me. And Lex, I just want you to feel good enough for yourself with your eyes open.”

Chapter 22

Lexi pulled out her cell phone and prayed for Chyna to answer. She and Adam were returning from their honeymoon today. Lexi knew it was selfish to rain on Chyna’s parade as soon as she got back, but there wasn’t much else that she could do. She needed to talk to her best friend. She needed Chyna to calm her down.

Knowing it was her only opportunity to speak to Chyna before Lexi got off work later tonight, she had taken a break from court for an early dinner. She hadn’t been able to sleep last night, and she was worse for wear because of it. Sleeping in Jack’s bed, even alone, with all of his words pushing through her mind, demanding her attention, had been impossible. She had tossed and turned all night until she finally fell into a restless slumber a few hours before she had to be up.