Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding 2)

"You know that I do," he said his eyes finding Sandy in the crowd. She seemed to realize he was watching her and glanced his direction. Her cheeks flushed at the intensity of their stare.

Lexi sighed pulling her own eyes away from the couple radiating with a passion and love that she could only attribute to newlyweds. "How are you and Sandy?" she asked though she could see with her own eyes that things were going well.

Seth, who had never been guarded a day in his life, shined like a beacon of light from the top of a lighthouse. His eyes which broke contact with his wife across the room turned to Lexi. His smile was radiant and his eyes glowed with pleasure. "Now don't go spreading it around," he said with barely contained excitement, "but we've just found out. We're having a baby."

"Oh Seth!" she cried truly ecstatic for the young couple. She couldn't believe it was happening so quickly, but she couldn't hide her exuberance for their news. "That's wonderful!"

He beamed brighter practically bouncing up and down. "Yeah I think it's a boy. Sandy isn't sure yet, but I am. It's a boy. I'm gonna be a father!"

"Congratulations! I'm really so happy for you both," she said giving him another hug.

"You'll come down for the shower? I know Sandy would want out to be there," he said getting ahead of himself.

Lexi smiled but her happiness had been stripped from her face. She had no idea where she would be in a year. She didn't know if New York would even still be her home. She was still waiting to hear about the bar. Not to mention potential jobs she had applied for across the country. She didn't know if she would have Ramsey then…

The what ifs hung so heavy over her that she felt crushed under the weight of the uncertainty that lay ahead.

"We'll see Seth. I'll let you know for sure once you have a date," she told him.

He smiled again unperturbed by her noncommittal answer. "Well come say hey," he said grabbing Lexi's wrist and yanking her towards the center of the room.

"Uh…alright," she said though she wasn't exactly certain that she should just be wandering around the room like the rest of the friends and family. She wasn't exactly either. Seth rushed them back to his wife. Sandy's hand instinctively went to the belly of her baby blue dress as they approached.

"Lexi! Hey!" Sandy said as bubbly as ever.

Lexi stepped forward into the hug that was offered and attempted to dispel her nervousness. She had never really been one for ill-conceived nerves. She typically held her own pretty well…or as best she could under the circumstances. Yet she knew that she was out of her league. She had swum so far out into the deep end that she was terrified she would drown. All she could think about was that she just needed to keep tredding water…keep kicking her feet. They might get tired and she might feel faint of heart, but she could make it out in the end. She could push on and eventually she would read the end and be hoisted out of the depths.

"I can't believe you're here," Sandy said stepping back from Lexi. Her smile never failed.

"Uh yeah," Lexi said tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I guess I couldn't miss it."

Seeing that Sandy was occupied for awhile, Seth bounded over to the remaining groomsmen: Hunter and Luke. Sandy stepped a little bit closer to Lexi sealing off the space that she had given them. "I just mean with what happened with you and Jack," she barely whispered.

Lexi gulped hard and sputtered a little in surprise. If there was one thing about Sandy that Lexi could say is that she had never thought she was intuitive or even that intelligent. Though she was nice, incredibly so, she had always seemed a little dim. She acted almost incorrigibly like a perky bimbo. So her having any knowledge of what had happened between her and Jack took Lexi as a complete surprise. She knew that Seth knew at least some of what had happened as he had been involved from the beginning, but the idea that that had been discussed between the two seemed unlikely to Lexi. "I don't know what you mean," Lexi said slowly after a minute.

Sandy rolled her eyes. "Lexi I really like you, but you are blind to that boy. You really didn't think that I noticed you sneaking off with him every night at the beach before graduation?"

Lexi's eyes widened in surprise. Her jaw went slack and she felt her pulse race. It was a feeling she only attributed to Jack. And though she had been so focused on Ramsey lately, she couldn't deny that he still made her pulse quicken. Though she wasn't sure if she could attribute it to her desire to be with him or without him…or just a natural fight or flight instinct she had since attributed solely to her instincts around him.

"You…you noticed that?" she asked knowing how she must look to Sandy…like a kid with their hand stuck in the cookie jar.

She smiled shyly. "A couple times, but at first I thought it was to see someone else. I think it was the sand that gave it away. Anyway we can't fight love when we have it in our grasps can we?" she asked her eyes immediately landing on Seth.

"Uh…well…I'm not in love with Jack," she told her.

"Ok," Sandy said brushing her words aside as if they meant nothing. "Either way. I just wasn't expecting you to be here for this. I would think it would be too painful…whether you still love him or not."

Lexi gulped again. "Well…it's hard to explain."

"You don't have to explain it to me," Sandy said her voice taking on her characteristic bubbly bimbo routine once again. "Can you believe I'm pregnant?" she asked completely diverting the subject.

"Oh! Yeah, Seth told me. Congrats!" Lexi said with enthusiasm that she wasn't entirely sure where she mustered it from. Sandy giggled and went into a full on discussion about the baby, arrangements, names, and all sorts of things that Lexi had never really thought of. Having a baby was about the last thing on her mind.

When Sandy finally seemed to have exhausted herself of subjects to discuss, Lexi made a quick retreat. She plopped back down into her seat as the inexplicabilities of new life washed over her. She seemed to miss the remaining relatives sidle into the private dining room.

Ramsey reappeared at her side after speaking with the swarm of family who had directed his attention and bombarded him with questions he would have rather left unanswered. His hand slid under the table and grasped her knee for a short second. She glanced at his handsome face covered with the mask of the County Club he had grown up in. His eyes smiled she finally met them with her own and there was where her true reassurance came from. This was not him. He was not that person.