Taking a deep breath to try to slow down her quickening heart rate, Lexi realized finally that she needed to come clean. That they both needed to lay everything down on the table and see if what they had left was worth salvaging. She didn't think she could ever face the idea of being with him again any other way.
"Are you okay?" Ramsey breathed barely loud enough to be a whisper. His green-gold eyes cut in her direction.
Lexi's hand dropped back to her lap. She hadn't even realized that she had been pushing her hair back behind her ear with such forcefulness. Not to mention her breathing was jagged. She was sending herself into a state of hyperventilation not unlike what her mother was accustomed to. She felt the pressure of Ramsey's hand increase for a second as he looked at her with concern.
"Yeah sorry," she said letting her breathing even out. She slid her hand under his and squeezed reassuringly. His smile lit up at the small gesture of togetherness.
Her heart sank again. She had meant to reassure him, but she was still too terrified to contemplate what he was going to think of her once she told him about what had happened. They had only been separated a short while and she had done something unthinkable.
She grit her teeth and tried to focus on what Jack's parents were saying now. If she thought too much about what she had to do in the next 24 hours then she might really hyperventilate.
"My son," Jack's father said, who was just an older version of his son, "is a remarkable individual – persistent, unyielding, and relentlessly hardworking." Lexi couldn't agree more. He had used just those qualities on her. "He is also a rather charming young man if I do say so myself. I am very pleased as his father to know that those charms won out such a wonderful young woman who not only shares his same aspirations in life, but who truly loves him for him. A father couldn't ask for me," he said getting a bit choked up at the end and abruptly taking his seat.
The heartfelt words his father uttered were better than anything Bekah's parents could possibly say about her. The way his eyes watered with joy, sadness, and pride was incredible to behold. She had never met the man who sat in that chair, but for some reason she wondered why more of those raw emotions hadn't been transferred to his son. Had the divorce destroyed that within Jack?
Before she could think on it further, Bekah's father stood once more and announced, "Without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the future newlyweds my daughter Bekah and her fiancé Jack."
The restaurant exploded with applause as Jack and Bekah materialized in the high arching doorway in which their parents had entered minutes earlier. Bekah looked radiant if it was even possible to say that about a person Lexi despised with every ounce of her being. Her typically stick straight blonde hair had thick loose curls in it. Her chunky bangs had been fluffed and pushed off her face. A short, white lace dress clung to her body. But what was most noticeable about her was that her eyes actually appeared not to be calculating and her smile wasn't malicious. She seemed content with the moment she was in rather than always looking to the next move in her intricate game. If she didn't know better, Lexi would think she was a real human being.
For some reason, Lexi had been so transfixed with her enemy that she hadn't turned to look at the man standing next to her. All traces of the downtrodden man who stood on Ramsey's doorstep less than a week earlier to tell him he was having doubts had vanished. He was as polished as Bekah could make him in a black three-piece suit with a baby blue button up underneath.
Lexi had recognized the man standing before Ramsey weak and disheveled with a five o'clock shadow and Converses. She had known that man for a long time. And though she had seen Jack dressed up before, he had always still looked like himself. He was gorgeous. There was no denying that. But he didn't look like her Jack anymore.
And he wasn't her Jack. He had proven that to her a year ago. The man standing next to Bekah belonged to Bekah. She had made him the person that he was…the person she wanted him to be. It was a tragedy in and of itself that he was so easily changed…that she so easily changed him. Lexi would have thought he would have put up a greater fight. Then again when Jack had changed her, she hadn't put up much of a fight.
Now they were standing here with other people and it felt surreal. Somehow she had never really expected this moment to happen. Jack was never supposed to end up with Bekah. Lexi didn't want him. She told herself that she didn't want him. She desired him for everything that they were, but not everything that they could be. They had no foundation left to build upon since it had all crumbled to the ground.
But still he wasn't supposed to end up with her.
Lexi tore her eyes away from the couple as they began their round of thanks. She couldn't look at them right now with so much else going on in her head. She hadn't anticipated having a mental breakdown in the middle of their rehearsal dinner.
Her eyes took in the room around her crowded in with people just as Parker entered stealthily through the back doors. Lexi clenched her jaw. This was the first time she had seen her since…well since that night. She knew that she was going to have to see her…even speak to her maybe, but she hadn't realized until that moment how much she was dreading it.
She didn't want to see Parker. She didn't want to be around Parker. The thought of seeing her and Ramsey in the same room made her skin crawl. The knowledge that she would soon be sitting next to him made her feel physically ill. She didn't want Ramsey anywhere near Parker. Too much history pulled them together despite the f**ked up circumstances of their relationship.
Lexi wondered if this is how everyone always felt about her and Jack. She knew she could hardly equate the two. Her and Jack had never officially been together, and their relationship was on a completely different level. However, there must be some similarities in the feeling. Jealousy. Anger. Resentment.
Not to mention Parker looked stunning, and not in the same way as Bekah…or even really Lexi tonight. Parker looked like she had just thrown on the first dress in her closet, hastily threw her hair in a tight ponytail, and stormed out of the house without a hint of makeup. Lexi knew it was probably because she had had to change straight from the hospital, but she didn't care. She just wished that for one night the girl didn't look so gorgeous when she had clearly just thrown something on.
Parker scampered across the room until she found her assigned seat. "So sorry," she breathed to the table as she slid neatly into the cushioned chair and demurely crossed her legs.