Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding 2)

"What did Parker tell you that made your head spin?" Lexi finally asked him licking her lips and looking up at him.

"Judging by your appearance, I think you already know the answer to that," he said eyeing her sheepishly. "I would have told you Lexi, but it wasn't my story to tell."

"I know. I don't blame you. But what did she say?" Lexi asked. "I have to know."

He sighed clearly hating the position that he was in. "The gist of it is that he knocked her up when they were in college, and before he knew that she was pregnant, she walked in on him cheating on her with some other girls. Or something like that. Then when she told him later that she miscarried, he refused to believe her and called her a slut." Lexi gasped out loud and covered her mouth quickly. She hadn't intended to get so emotional, but hearing basically the same thing from Brandon…confirmation of Parker's story made it all so much more real. "Lexi I'm sorry. I really…I don't know what to say."

Lexi shook her head effectively silencing him. "No. Thank you for telling me," she told him. "I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else."

"You know maybe he has changed," Brandon said trying to be reassuring though it sounded strange coming from him of all people. He had never really said a nice thing about Ramsey since they had started hanging out.

"Don't lie to me," Lexi said pulling her hand gently out of his. "I've had enough of that lately."

"It's true I don't think he's changed," he said, "but that's up to you to decide."

'Thanks Brandon…pookie," she said with a sad smile. She stood from the booth. "I'm suddenly not hungry. Sorry to leave you hanging on lunch again."

"It's alright," he said standing as well. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Let me know if you need me."

"Bye," she said taking a step towards the door.

"Hey honey," he called back. She spun around to look at him. "I'm serious. I'm here for you." She nodded solemnly and then strode out of the restaurant.

Driving to the club was a blur. She knew that at some point she called her boss and told him that she wasn't feeling well. He hadn't been pleased, but she was pretty sure she sounded convincingly sick since she felt like vomiting already. So he had let her off the hook as long as she promised to make up the hours if she was feeling better in the morning. And her final project was due Friday, the last day of the summer associate position, regardless. She also knew that her car had driven her to the mostly empty parking lot of the club that Ramsey worked. She wouldn't say that she had driven herself there exactly. It was more like the car was on auto pilot, and she was just along for the ride. Her body felt numb to the realities of the universe around her.

All she knew was that she had to talk to Ramsey, and she had to talk to him now. Waiting around for over a week had been a terrible mistake. All her emotions were like a shaken up bottle of coke ready to explode at a seconds notice. The confirmation of the facts from Brandon had just solidified her determination which she had been lacking before. She hadn't been able to face him, because she wasn't sure if she could believe Parker's tale. Even though Lexi knew it was impossible to truly fake the kind of emotions Parker displayed, she still hadn't wanted to believe her. Then Brandon had said, albeit in a more concise fashion, the exact same story. Now she knew she had to talk to him. Though it didn't mean that she was dreading it any less.

She wished, not for the first or last time that summer, that Chyna was still in the country. She would know what to do and say in that moment. She would know how to calm Lexi down and how to approach the situation. But she didn't have her best friend there for her now. She still had a couple weeks before she returned from Milan. So Lexi was on her own. She would have to face down her demons all on her own.

Taking a deep breath, Lexi punched in the code to the back entrance that Ramsey had given her and stepped through the large black door. She trudged down the long hallway and stood in front of his closed office door. Staring at the big door for awhile didn't give her any more motivation to push through it. She knew she needed answers, but her stomach was in knots at the prospect of what was to come. Pushing back her hair a few times to calm her nerves, Lexi knocked twice and then opened the door to Ramsey's office.

Ramsey turned around sharply at the interruption. His eyes were narrowed and he looked furious at the distraction until he realized who was standing before him. "Lexi!" he said with surprise jumping to his feet. "What a surprise! I didn't think you would be here until after work."

"Honestly I hadn't planned on coming at all," she told him stepping into the room and pushing the heavy door closed behind her.

Ramsey stopped in his tracks and examined her more closely. Her hands were shaking at her sides. The black circles under her eyes were more pronounced, and she looked as if she might have been crying earlier. She had already tucked nonexistent strands of hair behind her ear three times since walking through the door. She couldn't even stop biting her bottom lip. "Why not? What's wrong?"

Lexi's eyes dropped to the floor. "I need to talk to you."

"Are you breaking up with me?" he whispered into the room. Those words alone sounded like heartbreak coming out of his mouth. It was almost too much for Lexi to bear to hear.

"No," she said quickly. "Well I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked sitting down heavily on the corner of his desk. "Tell me what's wrong. How could you not know something like that?"

"It…it all depends on how you answer my next question," she whispered letting her eyes drag upwards and meet his very confused green-gold eyes.

"I'll answer anything," he said desperately.

Lexi took a deep breath to calm her hammering heart. "What is your relationship with Parker?"

"What?" he asked standing at the mention of Parker's name.

"You heard me," Lexi whispered.

"Parker?" he asked. Lexi nodded. "We've already had this discussion Lexi. I told you over spring break what my relationship is with Parker."

"Let me rephrase. What was your relationship with Parker?" she asked directing his attention to the past tense.