Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

A flustered sigh came out of her mouth. How could he always do this? Somehow he had turned everything against her. Now, she was the bad guy for trying to storm out of his house. She was the bad guy for wanting to leave when he had made all the effort to get her to stay. She was the bad guy despite his unexpected, unwelcome appearance.

"Maybe you should do that," she managed to get out. She felt terrible even though she knew that it was the right thing to do. She couldn't be here. Their history prevented them from being casual, from being just friends.

His face dropped. He'd been expecting her to give in. "You really mean that? You don't even want to hang out for an hour? A half hour?" he pleaded. "For old time's sake?"

"Jack I can't. You can't ask that of me." Her voice came out just louder than a whisper.

Still grasping the handle of her suitcase, he yanked it around and protectively placed it behind him. "I am asking it of you." He took a step closer. "What do you really think is going to happen? Things are different now, Lex."

As she stared up into his gorgeous blue eyes, she couldn't help thinking that things weren't that different for her. He had obviously moved on and rather quickly, but that was not the way it had happened in her world. She had tried to move on...unsuccessfully. Deep down she knew that if he bent down to kiss her just then, she wouldn't have been able to resist him. As much as that fact irritated her, it was the truth. Even after everything. Her throat was closing up making it difficult for her to swallow. How could she turn him down when all she wanted to do was stay and be near him?

"Look, I just want you to feel comfortable. If I can only have ten minutes of your time before tomorrow, then I guess I could settle for that. If you'd rather me leave, and come back in the morning when we were scheduled to meet, I can do that too. Or if you'd rather us hang out all night reminiscing even if means we must be on separate couches," he added flirtatiously, "that would be the option I'd prefer."

She hesitated before speaking. "Jack I..."

"You're going to say you can't, but you can. You just won't," he said taking a step into her personal space. She could feel the heat coming off of his body, and smell the cologne he wore that took her mind places it shouldn't.

"Stop, just stop," she murmured stumbling backwards. "You know what you're doing, and you can just stop that. If I'm going to stay, it will be because I want to. Not because you are using all your damn seductive magical powers on me."

He looked amused as he gazed down the hallway at her. "I have magical powers now?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." She glared at him.

He held his hands up in defeat. "Fine. Magical powers it is. Now will you please stay?"

"Fine," she stated only partially reluctant, "I'll stay."

His smile was electric, as compelling as ever. He marched down the hall and threw his arms around her lifting her effortlessly off the ground. A giggle escaped her lips as she latched onto him for support. He quickly placed her back on her feet not wanting to press his luck.

After a short break in which Jack changed into a familiar faded green t-shirt and black athletic shorts, the pair arranged themselves on separate couches in the living room. Jack flipped on the TV setting ESPN's college football predictions as background noise. Lexi lounged back against the brown suede. Her eyes took in the space focusing in on things she hadn't previously noticed. Two copies of Sports Illustrated, a week old Wall Street Journal, and a corner of Maxim were laid out against the walnut coffee table. Heavy black marble coasters sat in a neat stack within a matching enclosure. A vintage lamp sat atop a corner table. There wasn't a single picture frame in the room. As she thought about it, she couldn't remember there being a single picture frame in the whole house similar to an army barracks. When they had been in college, he had an array of picture frames of his family at his parent's country house when he was younger, ridiculous acts captured with him among his college friends, and some amazing photos he had taken himself when he had been in a photography class for a semester. Now, none of that was here. It was like he had erased his past. Lexi felt suddenly out of place. She was a part of his past that he had so easily gotten rid of. She let her eyes rest back on Jack as she tucked her hair behind her ears several times knowing full well she was giving herself away.

"Why are you so nervous?" he asked, resting his arm across the back of the couch and fixing her with an attentive gaze.

"I'm not nervous," she mumbled.

"You're doing that thing with your hair," he said pointing it out just as a lock was placed behind her ear. She caught herself doing it and quickly snapped her hand down to her side. "It's kind of endearing, but you always do it when you're nervous or anxious."

"Well…I haven't seen you in a long time. I just can't believe I'm actually here."

"I can't believe you're actually here either."

Lexi's eyes made their way back to him. "Hey, that shirt!"

He looked down at what he was wearing. "Yeah?"

"Oh my God, you're wearing the carnival shirt," she said seeing the worn outline of a Ferris wheel.

"Oh yeah. I guess it is. It's the most comfortable thing I own." She stared longer her mind whirling. "Do you still have yours?"

She giggled convulsively then sprinted to the guest bedroom. When she returned, she had a flimsy green shirt in her hand. The material had several tiny tears. It had been washed and worn so many times it was practically sheer. He nodded his approval only mildly surprised that she still owned the thing. She tossed the shirt onto the back of the couch and lounged back again.

After a brief pause, Lexi spoke up again. "So what did Danielle and Kate tell the new girl? I mean I'm guessing that's who she talked to."

"Yeah, she met both of them. It was almost as strange as calling you. Well maybe not quite that strange." Her eyes narrowed when he winked at her and stuck out his tongue. "Anyway, Danielle agreed immediately. Thankfully, she had no qualms about meeting Bekah. Her and I broke up on good enough terms, you know, for it not to be an issue."

Lexi giggled. "That's not how I remember it."

"Luckily, that's how she remembered it," he said sighing. "I haven't spoken to her much since then, but her sister lives in Atlanta now so she came and stayed with her for the weekend."