Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"If you don't stop using that voice with me, I'm going to take you right here on the beach," he told her evenly. "You're so much sexier when you're angry."

Lexi immediately stopped her argument and openly gaped at him. Was he serious? Was he really going to try to calm her down by claiming she was in any way sexy by yelling at him? The whole concept just infuriated her further. "I told you to stop telling me what to do. I will do whatever the f**k I want. And I want to know why the hell you're here. You grab me in public and then completely ignore me. Then, just when I'm accepting that, you start kissing me?" she squealed. "What kind of game are you playing? What kind of..."

She was cut off by him standing so swiftly it hardly registered on her radar. He snatched her up in his arms and tossed her gently back onto the towel. From his standing position, he immediately moved over her pushing his body flush against her. She gasped feeling every inch of his hard body just as his mouth crushed against her own.

All thoughts left her at that point. She hadn't been aware how much she wanted him...how turned on she already was from being close to him. Her body was aching all over with him tight against her moving suggestively from her lips to neck to ear and demandingly back to her hungry lips. He was hardly giving her enough time to breathe as he let his tongue slide around in her mouth. She let her free hand, that wasn't twisting around at the nape of his neck, run down to his hips and pulled him closer to her.

Groaning, he continued his assault on her lips. "I want you right now," he said his hands fumbling to reach down her cotton shorts.

"Jack, no. No I can't," she whispered pushing him away.

"Lex, goddamn it, you're killing me," he growled sitting up and straddling her.

"Well, if you'd listened the first time, we wouldn't be in this situation," she said through her heavy panting.

"If I'd listened?" he asked in disbelief. "I told you I'd take you right here if you didn't stop being so damn sexy. You are the one who didn't listen."

She sat up and shoved him into the sand away from her. "Fine whatever, it's all my fault. It's always my fault! It has nothing to do with you being here when you're not supposed to be or you coming down to the beach to find me. It has absolutely nothing to do with you kissing me, for Christ's sake! Taking advantage of me, when you know I can't control myself around you," she spat.

"You can't control yourself?" he whispered into the gusty night, his words almost lost in the wind.

"Don't play with me Jack," her dark brown eyes were nearly black in fury at this point.

"I'm…I'm not playing with you. What do you mean you can't control yourself? We've been in social situations for the past two or three years, and you've never given me more than one glimpse of your so called lack of control. I think you have perfect control. You hardly look at me. You definitely don't speak to me. God forbid, we have a normal conversation. So, yes Lexi, what the f**k are you talking about?"

She'd never thought about it that way. She figured by avoiding him as much as possible that she'd in some way be able to regain the control she lost when suckered into his enticing thrall. But it didn't work. All her efforts were futile, and even worse was she had avoided his wonderful presence and wasted a friendship…relationship for over two years.

"I did those things because of my lack of control. When you touch me Jack, I completely succumb to you. I give into your ever whim."

"But you don't. Can't you see that? If you did, we would have had sex two years ago," he vehemently told her.

She let out the breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. He was right. She might lose control, but she had the capability to gain it back. Something inside her told her that she didn't really want to regain the power he had over her, and that was why he had so often enraptured her every thought.

He scooted closer to her in the sand, and grasped her hands in his own. "Because I've wanted to be with you every day since then."

Words were lost on her. She'd wanted him too, but things were different. She was with Clark now. Spencer had been a short lived thing, but Clark…he was solid. He had everything she had ever wanted in a relationship. He was caring, attentive, understanding, loving…the list was endless.

The only thing he wasn't…was Jack.

Jack with all of his fiery passion and hopeless desire. Jack who had secured her a position on the gymnastics team even though she hadn't spoken to him. Jack who had always wanted her…since they had first met.

"Lex, I know how you feel about me. I feel that way too. Just…just let me show you what I can be to you," he said playing with her fingers embedded in the sand.

She sighed and gazed into his crystal clear blue eyes. He wanted her. He'd always wanted her. "What does that mean?"

"We'll just do whatever feels natural."

"You're talking about having an affair," she spoke softly.

"No. It can be completely platonic," he said taking her hand and interlacing it with his own, "if that's what you want."

What he was allowing her was a way in. A way to be with him…without being with him. The dream sounded amazing. It wasn't everything she wanted, but she couldn't deny it did have its perks. She could be with him again. She could talk to him and be friends with him. They could be around each other without the automatic hot and cold that came from their forced separation.

"Okay Jack," she breathed. "I'm giving you a chance."

"I'll show you everything I can be for you," he said hesitantly leaning forward and in a companionable manner kissed her cheek.

Her breath caught despite the friendly nature of the kiss. Instantly, she wondered if this was such a good idea. Pushing the thought away, she scooted closer to Jack and together they sat and watched the ebb and flow before them.

* * *

K.A. Linde

Personal Space

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you

Hate the thought of her being with someone else

But you know that it's over

You know that it was through

Let it burn. Let it burn. Gotta let it burn

I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry