Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"No, it hasn't. We decided not to."

"Oh for your own f**king sake," he paced rapidly around the room doing anything to keep from looking at her.

"It hasn't happened again."

"How do you expect me to believe that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"I don't think you f**king know what that is." Lexi remained silent not wanting to egg on his anger. "Have you done anything else since then?"

"Yes. We kissed some and I would spend the night at his place."

"Oh you just kissed a little. You want me to believe that you spent the night and didn't f**k? I told you not to lie to me."

"We didn't do anything more."

"What about last night?" he asked cornering her.

"What about last night? Nothing happened."

"I wouldn't say nothing! I saw you at Chamber with him all over you."

Lexi's mouth dropped open. So she hadn't been manic and delusional. Someone actually had been watching her all along. She couldn't believe it. "You were watching me?"

"Yes and I'm not ashamed of it either. You would have never told me the truth, and I needed to see you guys together for real."

"I can't believe you would do that."

"I know, because I'm not the scheming scumbag who goes behind people's backs. That would be you and your little f**k buddy. I can't f**king believe you Lexi. Were you careful? Did he get checked for diseases? How could you sleep with me after you slept with him? How could you even look at me with those beautiful big brown eyes of yours and tell me you love me? When you obviously don't."

"I do love you," she said quietly.

"I don't want to hear that from your deceitful, manipulative, lying mouth."

"I am so sorry Clark," Lexi gasped sucking in deep breaths between tears.

"I still can't believe you actually slept with him" He crashed back against the bed burying his face into his hands. "You little whore."

Lexi's glazed eyes stared down at him. Her humiliation was evident. "It wasn't like that."

"You slept with him while you were with me," he said through clenched teeth. Finally, looking up at her, he said, "That makes you a whore." She brushed her palm against her cheeks forcefully. It did no good the tears kept coming faster. "After all that bullshit you fed me about you guys just being friends. After all the warnings I gave you about him." She couldn't tear her eyes away from him as his anger intensified. "Fuck, Lexi, you told me yourself that you didn't think he had been faithful with one person he'd ever been with. Why would you let this happen? How could you let this happen? Do you think you are special? Do you think he's just going to leave Kate for you? He just wanted to f**k you. And, now he's done that. Try to explain to me how that doesn't make you a whore?" he spat at her.

She had no answer for him. She had never felt so belittled before in her life, and she knew that she deserved every word. She had made a terrible mistake, and then on top of that she had unsuccessfully attempted to hide her dirty actions. No wonder everyone had told her that she was acting uptight lately. She had been carrying around such a weight on her shoulders since that night in May; it was almost a relief that Clark knew.

"I just…I need to get out of here and think about this," Clark said standing resolutely. He brushed past her and entered the living room.

"Clark…" she cried as he pulled the door open. "What does this mean for…for us?"

"I really don't know Lexi. I just can't look at you right now. I'll just…call you tomorrow after I've had time to think about all this," he said turning away from her and shutting the door.

Lexi crumpled to the floor and lay like a heap shuddering from the tears raking through her body. She could not believe that had just happened. How had she been so stupid, and let this happen? She was certain that she had just let the best guy she had ever had in her life slip through her fingers. After a minute, Olivia came out of her room and sat on the floor next to Lexi. She scooped her up in her arms and held her as she bawled.

"Did…did you...h…hear all…of that?" Lexi asked her through her tears.

"Yeah honey, I heard it. Why didn't you just tell me? You know I would have been there for you. You know I would have kept everything a secret. I can't believe you went through all of this alone," Olivia said brushing aside her bangs. The movement reminded her so much of Jack that it only intensified her tears.

"I…I don't either. I just…thought…that I could…handle this," she muttered.

"Alright darling. You have to get up. Take a shower, and then things will look a little brigter."

Lexi nodded as Olivia ushered her out of the living room. "No!" she cried suddenly.

"What?"

"I have to go talk to Jack," Lexi decided.

"I don't think that's the best thing for you to do right now."

"Jack told him everything. How could he do that?"

"I'm almost certain Clark threatened him into it, but that doesn't matter. Seeing that boy while you're in this state is a really really bad idea."

"No, Livy let me go. I need to go find out why the hell he would tell him everything and then not warn me," she said pulling away from Olivia and running for her keys.

She was in the car before Olivia could utter another comment about staying home. She drove much too fast over to Jack's house swerving to get around rather slow drivers. She skidded to a halt in his parking lot, and dashed out of the front seat. Bursting through the still unlocked door, Lexi darted into Jack's room. She could tell he had gotten up and showered just by looking at him. Her heart melted at the sight. She was furious about what he had done, but her heart still longed for him. She wanted things to go back to the way they were only this morning. She wished with all her being that she didn't have to be angry at him.

"Lexi what are you doing back already?" Jack asked surprise written on his face. "Are you okay? Have you been crying?" He rushed forward to meet her. She backed away not wanting to feel his hands on her.

"How could you tell him?" she asked breaking down into tears for the second time that morning.