Savage Hearts
Page 23
Her brow smoothes and regret creeps into her expression. “I was trying to spare you. I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”
“It doesn’t matter what you wanted. You’re a part of me. Where you go, I go.” I cup her cheek in my hand, brushing my thumb over her beautiful mouth.
“But neither of us is going down anymore,” I continue in a rough voice. “We’re on our way back up.”
“You think so?” Her eyes begin to shine. “Do you think that…once it’s over, I might be okay again?”
“I won’t stop until you’re okay,” I promise, leaning closer. “Better than okay. And nothing in the world could make me leave you, so don’t ask me again.”
She swallows. “I haven’t cried since the trial.”
“Cry if you need to. I don’t mind.”
“I don’t want to,” she says, her gaze dropping to my lips. “I want to kiss you, but…”
“But what?” I hold my breath.
“I’m afraid,” she whispers. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be good for you again.”
“As long as you’re with me, I’m good,” I say, my throat tight. “Or at least better.”
I shake my head, not wanting to think about what a wreck I’ve been. “I’ve been so messed up, Sam. Nothing feels real without being able to share it with you. You’re a part of me, and I’d rather cry every day with you than try to learn how to laugh without you.”
Her eyes squeeze closed. “I hate that. I hate that I stole your happiness away. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t steal anything.” I capture her chin, pressing my fingers into the bone until she looks at me. “They stole from both of us and now we’re going to take everything back. Our happiness, our future, everything.”
Doubt flickers in her eyes, but her hands come to rest on my chest, sending heat and hope rushing across my skin. “I can’t make you any promises. I can’t even think about the future until this is over.”
“Then don’t think,” I say, my lips moving closer to hers. “Feel.”
My mouth settles over hers and her lips part with a sigh so sweet and sad it threatens to break my heart.
The world stands still and then, slowly, the clock reverses.
Time rewinds, stripping away the months we’ve spent apart, taking us back to before the trial, before our failed escape, before Sam returned to school for that last terrible semester.
We go back to our perfect Christmas and the fierce, perfect, wild love that lived between us. To those days when forever was practically in our hands and all of our dreams were a whisper away from coming true. Her tongue seeks mine with a hunger that echoes through my bones and her taste floods through my mouth, bringing back memories of every kiss, every touch, every time I made love to this woman who owns me, body and soul. Her arms twine around my neck and her breath comes faster as, one by one, all the barriers between us come crashing down.
I circle her waist with one arm and drive my free hand into her hair, needing to be closer, to disappear into her and never be found.
I never want to stop kissing her.
I never want to be without her again, this person who is as much my family as anyone bound to me by blood.
Hell, she’s more precious to me than half the people who share my DNA. Because I chose to love her, because she won my devotion with every act of heart and bravery, from the day she took a punch for me when we were kids, to the day she left me in a hotel to fly back to face her demons alone, determined to spare me the horror of being in that courtroom with her.
“I love you,” she whispers against my mouth, making my heart cry out with relief so profound it’s painful. “So much.”
Tears fill my eyes and my arms wrap tighter around her, pulling her over the gearshift and into my lap.
“I wish I’d been there,” I say as she curls into me, her face tucked into the curve of my neck. “I wish I’d been in the courtroom. I could have testified. I could have convinced them you weren’t the person they were making you out to be.”
“I doubt it,” Sam says, pressing a kiss to my throat. “And I’m glad you weren’t there. I didn’t want you to see me like that. If I’d known you were listening, it would have made it so much worse.”
“I know everything. I couldn’t stop reading about it.” I swallow against the lump rising in my throat. “I wish I’d been able to protect you. Or at least been there for you. After.”
“I didn’t let you be there.” She pulls back, looking at me, her expression vulnerable. “But I’m glad you’re here now. Can you ever forgive me?”