Savage Hearts

Tonight was the night I’d planned to take care of the Sigma Beta Epsilon brothers when I thought I would be taking on all four of them alone. Instead, I’m here with Sam, and in roughly thirty-six hours we’ll be back on track to the life we almost lost.

We reach the entrance to the canyon by noon and by two o’clock we’ve reached the base of the three hundred meter cliff where we’ll be spending the night. Paola and the other guides take point on getting their friends ready for the climb. I shadow them, making sure they remember everything we worked on and then head back to Sam, who greets me with that new, serene smile of hers.

As I check her harness, making sure to cop a feel while I do, she laughs and swats me on the ass.

Ever since our talk on the beach, we’ve both been strangely calm.

Or maybe not so strangely.

Sometimes, the build up to a hard decision is the worst part. Once you’ve made up your mind, the stress fades away. I’m sure it will return tomorrow night when our decisions become actions, but for now, we’re at peace.

The climb is intense, but amazing, granting ever more magnificent views as we creep above the tree line and the jungle stretches out beneath us. By five o’clock, we’re two hundred meters in the air, setting up our ledges and tents and preparing to cook the stew we brought over tiny propane stoves.

Sam and I set up the tent we’ll share on my ledge, but we leave hers bare. After our dinner is warmed, we sit on the edge of the clear platform with our legs hanging over the vast emptiness, watching the birds darting in and out of the canopy below like dolphins jumping out of ocean waves.

From our right and left come the soft conversations of friends, Ram and his brother arguing over what kind of meat is in the stew, Paola and her girlfriend laughing about their last camping trip and the monkeys who stole their breakfast, forcing them to hike home hungry the next day.

When we’re finished with our stew, I toss around the bag of chocolate covered coffee beans I brought as a treat. We laugh as we chuck the paper bag from platform to platform, cussing Ram’s brother when he nearly drops it over the edge. While the chocolate melts on our tongues, we talk about all the places we’ve worked, where we’d like to go next, and our adventure bucket lists. Paola wants to go to Iceland, Ram has a ticket to Fiji and will be leaving next August, and Sam tells them we’re on our way to Thailand for a non-working vacation before we head home.

It’s a beautiful night shared with good people and when Sam and I crawl into our tent not long after nightfall, I feel grateful. If, God forbid, something goes horribly wrong tomorrow, we couldn’t have asked for a better last night of freedom.

We tie back the flaps to the tent so we can see the stars from our sleeping bag and hold hands in the dark, listening to the getting-ready-for-sleep sounds coming from the other tents. And when the teeth brushing is finished and the call of nature answered—a discreet whizz over the edge of the ledge for the men and bottles filled in the tent and dumped over the side for the women—and everyone else is finally asleep, it’s so quiet it feels like there’s no one else alive in the world.

No one but Sam and me, happily marooned on this tent pitched at the edge of nowhere.

“Where is home now, do you think?” she whispers, her voice husky in the darkness.

“Wherever we are. Together.” I swear I can hear her smile.

“Where are we going to be together? I haven’t wanted to think about it until this was finished, but after hearing everyone’s plans I started wondering where we’ll end up. And what I’ll do when we get there.”

“I could hire you on as my business manager in Croatia.” I curl my arm around her waist. “I can’t pay much, but benefits include housing, food, and unlimited oral sex privileges.”

She laughs softly. “Giving or receiving?”

“Both. I’m a generous employer.”

“Very generous,” she says, fingers trailing back and forth across my chest, making me wish I’d taken my tee shirt off so I could feel her touch on my bare skin. “I’m sure my stepmom would help me find a job on Maui, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go back there. I don’t know what I’m going to say to them after disappearing for so long.”

My smile fades. “I think you were right before. Let’s cross those bridges when we come to them. No point in borrowing worries from the future when there are plenty here to go around.”