I sit and watch her for a moment as she keeps her eyes trained forward. The silence is killing me. “Hey,” I murmur, sliding my hand along the backrest of her chair. My thumb brushes over her shoulder and she flinches away from my touch, making something twist inside my gut and has me feeling like the biggest ass. “Are we cool?”
Courtney shrugs, trying to brush it off as though she doesn’t care, but the torture is written all over her face. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t we be?” she says. “Everything is…cool.”
I’ve never heard such a big fucking lie.
“You’ve hardly said a word,” I point out, trying to lighten the mood or at least get some sort of smile out of her. “Usually, I struggle to get you to shut up.”
“Noted, so what’s your problem then?” Courtney’s eyes briefly flash toward mine and devastation lies within their depths. “You struggle to get me to shut up and now I have. You got exactly what you wanted.”
I watch her for a silent moment. She’s talking about so much more right now and I guess that she’s right. I wanted to taste her lips on mine and I took it, I did get what I wanted and now I’m left wanting so much more.
My thumb brushes over her shoulder once again. “Come on, babe. Can we at least talk about this?”
Courtney swivels in her seat, turning to face me to give me the full effect of her anger. “Sure, we can talk. I’ll start.”
Shit.
“Yesterday, you said you could tell how I felt, see it in my eyes and all that bullshit. You said you could tell that I wasn’t the kind of girl up for a quick fuck, and if that’s true, then why the hell did you kiss me knowing nothing would ever come from it?” She seethes with an attitude that I didn’t realize she was capable of, but then why not? She’s surprised me with everything else she’s done over the past few weeks. “Are you just an impulsive, opportunistic dickhead, or do you just not give a shit about stomping all over a girl’s emotions like that?” Courtney shakes her head. “You know what? Don’t bother. I already know the answer.”
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. This is not good, but she’s right. I took advantage of an opportunity when I shouldn’t have. Who knew that something so incredible could turn out so disastrous?
I hate to ask, but the curiosity is getting the best of me. “And what’s that?”
She stands up, just as the bell dismissing us from homeroom rings loudly through Broken Hill High. “That you’re everything I’ve always assumed you were. You’re an asshole, Puck, and I’m done. I won’t let you weasel your way into my life anymore.”
With that, Courtney grabs her things and walks out the door, leaving me staring after her, realizing that no matter what, I have to make this right.
Chapter 10
Courtney
This sucks.
The past two weeks have been hell on Earth. Spending my days as though I don’t care about him has been harder than anything has the right to be.
I miss him despite the fact that I sit next to him every single morning. Puck Jones is the worst kind of monster a teenage girl could have. He’s the kind who takes your heart, makes you feel as though he’s about to give you the world, and just when you think you’re going to have it all, you end up crushed.
I should have known. In fact, I did know, yet I was stupid enough to fall into his well-placed trap. What a fool I’ve become. I should be stronger…or should have been able to tell him no. I should have been able to hold myself back from his wicked charm, but I couldn’t. Those few weeks with him were perfect. They were more than I ever thought Puck could ever offer me until it wasn’t.
For weeks I’ve sat next to him ignoring the way my body craves his touch, ignoring the way my heart races every time he walks through the door and ignoring the way his smile reminds me of everything that I’ve lost. It’s too damn hard.
But then, did I really ever have him in the first place? Did I ever really have the right to call him mine? No, probably not. Puck has always been the unattainable bad boy, and I was a fool to think I could nail him down.
There’s just one thing I don’t understand. While the flirting, the smiles, the ‘accidental’ brushes of his fingers across my skin are all gone, there’s still one thing that remains; Puck is incapable of leaving me alone. During homeroom, he pulls out my chair, in the cafeteria, his eyes are on me, and at parties like right now, he gets insanely jealous when another guy even looks my way, let alone when one approaches and shows a little interest.