Under His Roof - Love Under Lockdown

Despite my big dreams, I’ve only interacted with her around the office. We have never had a real reason to talk deeply. Maybe that’s why she always appears to be so shy and quiet. I hope to change all that within the next few days, but that leaves me with a bigger problem.

Am I really ready to open up and share my thoughts with her? It’s crazy that I’m having that thought only now, but I think that maybe I am.

Obviously I want to be with her, so that must mean that I am ready for her to know everything about me.

I have no idea what this strange mix of lust, desire, and – what is the more mild form of “love?”; “like”? – is doing to me but I just know that I want to explore it all, and as soon as possible, with Cassie, in reality, and not just in my fantasies.

Chapter 3

Cassie

It took me a while, but I finally unpacked all the stuff that I brought with me and settled into Matt’s guest bedroom. The room feels more cozy, almost like home now.

I sit on the bed and sigh, because it was a lot of work and I need a short break. I peek down the hall and see that Matt is still busy in his office.

That’s good – he told me to take my time, and it looks like I can get a few more things done before he needs my help. Honestly, I’m not ready to be alone with him again just yet. Crazy, I know, but my crush is going to make it very difficult to be around him at times.

I dig through my purse and pull out my phone. I decide the first thing that I should do is call my neighbor.

I know I’m not going to be returning home anytime soon, so I have to let her know. There are some minor things that will need tending to there while I am away. She is the only person that I trust to take care of them.

I talk to my neighbor for a few minutes. I tell her that I won’t be back for a few weeks and ask if she can water my plants and other things. She says “of course,” and we exchange stay-safe reminders before hanging up.

I put my phone down on the bed and wonder what to do next. Matt hasn’t asked for my help in the office yet, so I assume that I still have free time to relax. I wish I could, but I feel sort of anxious right now. I know that a lot of it has to do with my feelings for Matt.

I’m trying so hard to keep myself under control, but that’s very difficult to do.

All I want is for Mr. Barnes to slip his hand up my skirt, pull my panties to the side, and put his fingers in me. I want to lean up against his leg and bite his lip while he bends down and kisses me.

I don’t know why I keep torturing myself like this!

He’s handsome, successful, and so way out of my league. I know this for a fact, but a part of me still doesn’t want to believe it, no matter how hard I try to convince myself. That means I need to work harder at it, though. There is no way that there could be any mutual attraction or romance between us.

We are in no way meant to be together.

I feel a tingle of disbelief at my own words and shake my head.

I am so pathetic.

I sigh, then resolutely sit up in the bed. There’s something that I can do to hammer it home to myself once and for all that Matt and I are not meant to be together. I grab my notepad and pen from the dresser next to the bed, open the notebook to a blank page, and start writing.

I start to brainstorm all of Matt’s various qualities and characteristics. This is not easy stuff to do well, but it’s all necessary to crush my crush.

I am trying to write down all the reasons why being with Matt is impossible or bad for me. I feel like this will help me get over my feelings for him. It’s slow going, and I stare at the wall as I try to think of what to write first.

Fifteen minutes later, I put my pen down and sigh in frustration. I’ve only been able to think of three things. I read them quietly to myself.

Reason 1 why I hate Matthew Barnes: Too tall.

Reason 2: Too Intimidating.

Reason 3: Not very talkative.

I want to laugh at myself. This is the most ridiculous list that I have ever read. I’m getting so incredibly frustrated. I tried to think of reasons to keep myself from falling for him, but instead I just end up fantasizing about him. I really am hopeless.