“I…” Looking down, she broke contact for a moment. “I was afraid.” She lifted her gaze and stared at him. “I was afraid to get you two involved. I was afraid of what would happen when someone else knew. I was just afraid, Rys.” He didn’t speak at first, but she could see his brain working through it all.
“Shit, baby.” Pulling her close, he kissed her gently. “I would do anything for you. You do know that, right?” The desperate look in his eyes let her know that whatever he was dealing with right now was too strong for him to comprehend. He needed to reassure himself, needed her to tell him that everything was okay.
“I know.” And that was what they had been doing for years.
“We shouldn’t have pushed you. God, Jane. That had to bring up so many memories.” His jaw clenched under his skin after the last word. “We should have been there for you, protecting you from that bastard.” Silence stretched between them, and she didn’t correct him that there was no way they could have protected her or her mother. They were just kids themselves.
He didn’t say anything else, just pulled her to him and held her. She wanted to tell him that they hadn’t pushed her, that being with them was just what she needed. Telling them everything had opened up something inside her. Maybe things would be different now. Maybe she could finally get rid of the edginess that she felt whenever she closed her eyes and lay in the dark.
“Everything will be okay, baby. Will and I will make sure of it.”
Chapter 16
Jane carried the last covered dish from her beater inside the church. A week had passed since the first time she had been with Rys and William, and to say they had been inseparable before was an understatement for how they were acting now. It wasn’t just about the sex though, although that was incredible each and every time. Sometimes, it was with both of them; others, it was just her and one of the brothers.
There was no jealousy between them when it came to her, and for that she was thankful. In all honesty, if they gave her an ultimatum between the two of them, there was no way she would be able to choose. That might be selfish, but she couldn’t see herself with only one Holden twin. She loved them equally and so, so much.
When she walked into the church, people were milling around, setting up their tables for the weekend bake sale and flea market. It was an every-week kind of thing, and Jane was glad her mother could participate in something she loved doing, and that was cooking for people. Some people in their town treated them like shit, because they were poor and didn’t live in the nicest house, but not all of Ecstasy was like that.
The people surrounding her right now were just a handful of the ones who opened up their hearts and homes to her and her mother after they found out what Charles Silver did to them. Her mother, being too proud to accept a handout, wanted to get on with her life and put the past behind her. For as long as she could remember, her mother had been participating in these bake sales, and when Jane’s dad finally left, she became a member of the organization committee. Now she got to sell her famous pies and help plan events that made her feel like she was accomplishing something.
There might be people who looked down on them, but even they couldn’t deny that her mother’s baked goods were incredible.
“Over here, darling.” Her mother waved Jane over to a small table off to the side. There was a purple tablecloth with lilacs printed on it, and Jane knew under that material was a chipped and rickety old table that had been sitting in their backyard for God knows how long. Her mother’s desserts were raved about in their town, and she made quite a bit of money.
Of course, it wasn’t anything they could live lavishly on, but it was enough to buy her ingredients for these sales and help with the bills. The rest was up to Jane. Looking at her watch, she saw she had about twenty minutes before she had to head to work.
“Hey, Mama.” Jane set the brownies on the table and scanned all the dishes. There were about twenty-five different cakes, pies, and cookies. Some were individually wrapped. Others were the whole dessert. “These look so good.”
“Thanks, darling.” Her mother set a vase off to the side, the glass overflowing with wildflowers Jane knew her mother had picked behind their house.
“I better get going. I have to be at work, and I’m pulling a double.” That seemed to be her life recently, although she did make sure to take at least a day off during the week to recharge. She was busting her ass working doubles just so she had enough money. Her mother’s baked goods brought in enough money to help pay the bills, but she refused to have her mom work any harder. Jane didn’t mind working the extra hours, especially if it allowed her mom to relax. She had spent her whole life trying to make sure Jane had a good life, and now that Jane could return the help, she planned on doing it.