One of the gates had come open and Charlotte was fast heading toward the steps. Shea tried to shout a warning, but the words stuck and she could do more than watch helplessly as the baby started to fall.
To hell with this. She was tired of being a coward, and this beautiful baby wasn’t going to suffer because she was scared to face reality. Was this what she’d become? Some spineless, witless blob of insanity?
She bolted from her chair, knocking Sophie to the side as she flew toward Charlotte. The other women let out startled exclamations, but Shea could only see Charlotte and the imminent danger she was in.
Shea dove low, snatching her literally from the air as she pitched over the first step. She rotated so she’d take the brunt of the fall and she wouldn’t squash the child. Then she braced for impact.
She landed on the fourth step with enough force to knock the air from her lungs, but still she hung tenaciously on to Charlotte, determined to protect her at all costs.
She slid down the remaining steps, head first, on her back, each bump jarring her entire body. When she hit the bottom, she lay there a moment and stared up in wonder as Charlotte gave her a huge gummy grin and promptly drooled on her.
Sophie, Rachel and Sarah flew down the steps, babbling, yelling, shouting “Are you okay?” and “Oh my God!” Sophie tried to take Charlotte from Shea, but Shea held on and hugged the baby to her as she gingerly rolled the rest of her body off the steps.
Her entire body hurt, but nothing felt broken. Still clinging to Charlotte, she settled on the bottom step and buried her face in all that sweet-smelling baby skin and hair. Charlotte, completely unfazed by the event, chortled in glee and grasped a handful of Shea’s hair, pulling as she tried to maneuver it to her mouth.
Tears streamed down Shea’s cheeks. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. Her shoulders shook and she wept. Huge, aching sobs.
Around her, Sophie, Sarah and Rachel gathered, sitting in intervals on the steps so they could wrap their arms around both Shea and Charlotte.
“Thank you,” Sophie whispered. “Oh my God, thank you, Shea. I don’t know how you did it. I was so scared. I didn’t see her. I don’t know how the gate came undone. I’m always so careful. Sam is always so careful. If you hadn’t seen her. Oh God, if you hadn’t seen her.”
Charlotte began to squirm, protesting the suffocating circle of women surrounding her. She pulled away from Shea and this time Shea let her go. Charlotte patted Shea’s cheeks with both hands and let out a squeal of delight that Shea felt all the way to her toes.
And then Shea smiled back. God, it felt so good. Then she laughed. Tears still streaming down her cheeks, she laughed and let the sheer joy of the moment invade her soul.
One by one, each of the women hugged Shea fiercely and Shea hugged them back, grateful for that bond that had already begun forming. Family. Friendship. All the things that made life worth living despite the risks, the dangers and the unknowns.
Rachel wiped at Shea’s tears with the pads of her thumbs and gave her a watery smile of her own. “I think there’s someone who’d love to see you about now. Why don’t you go over and surprise him?”
CHAPTER 45
HE wasn’t shooting worth a damn. He was all over his target. He was ready to say to hell with it all and go back to Shea.
“Glad we aren’t depending on you for cover,” Garrett grumbled beside him. “We’d all get our asses shot up.”
Garrett was the only one who’d hung around after Nathan started shooting. The rest of his brothers had beaten a hasty retreat and were a safe distance away.
“I can’t do this,” Nathan said in disgust. “My head’s not in it. Furthermore I don’t want my head to be in it right now. I just want…” He broke off and squeezed his fingers into a fist in frustration.
Garrett put his hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “I know, man. I know. You’ll get there.”
“I hope to hell you’re right. I feel so damn helpless. I feel like there’s something I should be able to do to help her. To make her not so afraid. To help her forget the nightmare she’s protecting herself from.”
“She’s been through a lot,” Garrett said quietly. “But she’s strong. She’s a fighter. Right now she’s just doing what she has to do to survive and cope. Think about all you did to survive the hell you endured. You’re still dealing with it. And you will. Just like she will. Only you’ll do it together.”
“Is that what you and Sarah do? Deal with it?”
“Every damn day,” Garrett said in a somber voice. “Some days are better than others. But the good ones? Are so damn sweet that they more than make up for the bad ones.”
Nathan took off the safety glasses and then pulled the earplugs he’d draped around his neck and pocketed both. It was pointless to continue wasting ammo.
He nodded in Swanny’s direction. “You and Sam thinking of taking him on?”
Garrett followed Nathan’s gaze to where Swanny was involved in a push-up contest with Ethan. “Maybe. If he’s interested. You know Van’s putting together a team. The plan was always for it to include you and Joe. There’s no hurry. You, Joe, even Swanny have a lot to sort out before you can be cut loose. We have time.”
Sam and Joe strode toward Nathan and Garrett, broad grins covering their faces. Garrett stared suspiciously at them, but they ignored him and focused on Nathan.
“Take a look, Nathan,” Joe said, pointing behind him.
Nathan swiveled, scanning the terrain for what Joe was trying to draw his attention to. Then he froze and he forgot to breathe. Or maybe he just couldn’t.
Shea was walking toward him, slowly, her steps a little unsure. But it was her. And she was looking right at him.
He stared in wonder, his gut so knotted up that he couldn’t even swallow. He’d never seen such a beautiful sight in his entire life. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to throw up a fist and let out a triumphant yell.
“Well, what the hell are you waiting for?” Garrett asked, his grin as big as his brothers’. “Go get her!”
Nathan started out with a stagger. As he got his feet under him and his knees stopped shaking, he increased his pace until he was running. As fast and as hard as he could, his only thought to get to her.
One of the gates had come open and Charlotte was fast heading toward the steps. Shea tried to shout a warning, but the words stuck and she could do more than watch helplessly as the baby started to fall.
To hell with this. She was tired of being a coward, and this beautiful baby wasn’t going to suffer because she was scared to face reality. Was this what she’d become? Some spineless, witless blob of insanity?
She bolted from her chair, knocking Sophie to the side as she flew toward Charlotte. The other women let out startled exclamations, but Shea could only see Charlotte and the imminent danger she was in.
Shea dove low, snatching her literally from the air as she pitched over the first step. She rotated so she’d take the brunt of the fall and she wouldn’t squash the child. Then she braced for impact.
She landed on the fourth step with enough force to knock the air from her lungs, but still she hung tenaciously on to Charlotte, determined to protect her at all costs.
She slid down the remaining steps, head first, on her back, each bump jarring her entire body. When she hit the bottom, she lay there a moment and stared up in wonder as Charlotte gave her a huge gummy grin and promptly drooled on her.
Sophie, Rachel and Sarah flew down the steps, babbling, yelling, shouting “Are you okay?” and “Oh my God!” Sophie tried to take Charlotte from Shea, but Shea held on and hugged the baby to her as she gingerly rolled the rest of her body off the steps.
Her entire body hurt, but nothing felt broken. Still clinging to Charlotte, she settled on the bottom step and buried her face in all that sweet-smelling baby skin and hair. Charlotte, completely unfazed by the event, chortled in glee and grasped a handful of Shea’s hair, pulling as she tried to maneuver it to her mouth.
Tears streamed down Shea’s cheeks. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. Her shoulders shook and she wept. Huge, aching sobs.
Around her, Sophie, Sarah and Rachel gathered, sitting in intervals on the steps so they could wrap their arms around both Shea and Charlotte.
“Thank you,” Sophie whispered. “Oh my God, thank you, Shea. I don’t know how you did it. I was so scared. I didn’t see her. I don’t know how the gate came undone. I’m always so careful. Sam is always so careful. If you hadn’t seen her. Oh God, if you hadn’t seen her.”
Charlotte began to squirm, protesting the suffocating circle of women surrounding her. She pulled away from Shea and this time Shea let her go. Charlotte patted Shea’s cheeks with both hands and let out a squeal of delight that Shea felt all the way to her toes.
And then Shea smiled back. God, it felt so good. Then she laughed. Tears still streaming down her cheeks, she laughed and let the sheer joy of the moment invade her soul.
One by one, each of the women hugged Shea fiercely and Shea hugged them back, grateful for that bond that had already begun forming. Family. Friendship. All the things that made life worth living despite the risks, the dangers and the unknowns.
Rachel wiped at Shea’s tears with the pads of her thumbs and gave her a watery smile of her own. “I think there’s someone who’d love to see you about now. Why don’t you go over and surprise him?”
CHAPTER 45
HE wasn’t shooting worth a damn. He was all over his target. He was ready to say to hell with it all and go back to Shea.
“Glad we aren’t depending on you for cover,” Garrett grumbled beside him. “We’d all get our asses shot up.”
Garrett was the only one who’d hung around after Nathan started shooting. The rest of his brothers had beaten a hasty retreat and were a safe distance away.
“I can’t do this,” Nathan said in disgust. “My head’s not in it. Furthermore I don’t want my head to be in it right now. I just want…” He broke off and squeezed his fingers into a fist in frustration.
Garrett put his hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “I know, man. I know. You’ll get there.”
“I hope to hell you’re right. I feel so damn helpless. I feel like there’s something I should be able to do to help her. To make her not so afraid. To help her forget the nightmare she’s protecting herself from.”
“She’s been through a lot,” Garrett said quietly. “But she’s strong. She’s a fighter. Right now she’s just doing what she has to do to survive and cope. Think about all you did to survive the hell you endured. You’re still dealing with it. And you will. Just like she will. Only you’ll do it together.”
“Is that what you and Sarah do? Deal with it?”
“Every damn day,” Garrett said in a somber voice. “Some days are better than others. But the good ones? Are so damn sweet that they more than make up for the bad ones.”
Nathan took off the safety glasses and then pulled the earplugs he’d draped around his neck and pocketed both. It was pointless to continue wasting ammo.
He nodded in Swanny’s direction. “You and Sam thinking of taking him on?”
Garrett followed Nathan’s gaze to where Swanny was involved in a push-up contest with Ethan. “Maybe. If he’s interested. You know Van’s putting together a team. The plan was always for it to include you and Joe. There’s no hurry. You, Joe, even Swanny have a lot to sort out before you can be cut loose. We have time.”
Sam and Joe strode toward Nathan and Garrett, broad grins covering their faces. Garrett stared suspiciously at them, but they ignored him and focused on Nathan.
“Take a look, Nathan,” Joe said, pointing behind him.
Nathan swiveled, scanning the terrain for what Joe was trying to draw his attention to. Then he froze and he forgot to breathe. Or maybe he just couldn’t.
Shea was walking toward him, slowly, her steps a little unsure. But it was her. And she was looking right at him.
He stared in wonder, his gut so knotted up that he couldn’t even swallow. He’d never seen such a beautiful sight in his entire life. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to throw up a fist and let out a triumphant yell.
“Well, what the hell are you waiting for?” Garrett asked, his grin as big as his brothers’. “Go get her!”
Nathan started out with a stagger. As he got his feet under him and his knees stopped shaking, he increased his pace until he was running. As fast and as hard as he could, his only thought to get to her.
She stopped when she saw him coming, and then her smile lit up the entire world. His world. It hit him right where he lived and nearly took him to his knees.
When he finally reached her, he gathered her up in his arms and hugged her tightly against him and then spun round and round as she laughed her delight.
She threw back her head, spread her arms out as he spun them both. Her laughter rang out, the sound so beautiful and pure that no words could describe it.
Finally he stopped and let her slide down his body until their noses were nearly touching.
“I love you,” he said hoarsely. “Oh God, I love you so damn much, Shea. Welcome home, baby. Welcome home.”
She threw her arms around him and hugged him so fiercely that she had a stranglehold around his neck. “I love you too,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry I worried you.”
He pulled away and put a finger to her lips. “Shhh. You’ve come back to me. That’s all that matters.”
He kissed her and she tasted so sweet, felt so soft and warm and so very precious in his arms.
“I want a life with you, Nathan. I’ve been so very afraid. I’m still afraid. I didn’t want to involve you or your family. I still don’t know what the future holds, but I realized that whatever the future does bring, I want to face it with you. I want your family to be my family. I love them already.”
He smiled and gently lowered her to the ground, but he didn’t let go of her. He kept her close, touching him, pressed against him. His hands were everywhere, reassuring himself that she was here, with him, her beautiful eyes clear and comprehending.
“They already are your family, baby. And they love you too.”
“Can we go see our house?” she whispered. “I never got to see the inside.”
He gathered her in his arms again and just held on, absorbing the feel and the sheer joy that blew over him, wave after wave.
“Yeah,” he choked out. “I think I can arrange a tour. I’m afraid your husband-to-be has been slacking in the building department, but he just happens to have a horde of very capable brothers, not to mention numerous friends, only too willing to help out. I’m betting we could have it done in no time at all.”
She pulled away, her eyes sparkling mischievously as she slid her hand into his. “Are we getting married?”
He cupped her chin and pulled her toward him. “Hell yes, we’re getting married. Today, tomorrow, next year. I don’t care when. Okay, I do, but I’m willing to wait until you’re ready and, more importantly, when you’re feeling better. All I care is that you’re going to live here with me. Always. Together. That you love me half as much as I love you. That’s enough. You’ll always be enough for me, Shea.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes shiny with tears. “You’ve been so patient with me, Nathan. I’ll get there. I’ve been assured by some very special women that it takes time, but that I’ll never be alone. And you know what? You’ll get there too.”
He softened all over. She knew he still fought his demons, that like her, he still battled his fears and anxieties. But yeah, he’d get there. As long as she was with him, he could fucking take on the world.
“We make a pretty messed-up pair, you know that?” he said with a laugh.
“I think we’re perfect for each other,” she said softly. “We have each other to lean on and when we need them? We have family to lean on as well.”
He pulled her into his side as they started toward the house he’d begun building months ago when he’d returned home, a mere shell of the man he’d once been.
Now? He felt reborn. Whole again for the first time in so long. He no longer looked to the future with uncertainty. What he saw filled him with such joy that it overwhelmed him.
A life with a woman who’d saved him from hell. Who’d put him back together when he’d thought he was beyond repair. Love could do amazing things. She was his miracle, and he thanked God every day for sending her to him when his need was so great.
Now he could do the same for her. He’d love her every single day of his life. He’d never take for granted just how precious she was to him, and if it took everything he had, he’d make damn sure she felt safe and loved every single minute of the rest of her life.
CHAPTER 46
NATHAN and his brothers looked up as they heard a knock on the outer door to the war room. Nathan sighed. “I’ll get it.”
The others chuckled as he went to let Shea in. She had an access code specifically assigned to her, but she always knocked, unable to get over her hesitancy of just barging into the KGI headquarters.
He opened the door and for a moment drank in the sight of her standing there looking so beautiful and…happy. There was a lightness to her eyes that had been absent for a long time. Her skin held the first bloom of a tan, a testament to how much time she spent outside.
Then he took her hand and pulled her inside. “You have to start using your code, Shea. We gave it to you for a reason.”
“I know. I still feel like I’m intruding, though. Maybe I’ll just knock and then use the code. That way you know I’m coming.”
Donovan chuckled as Nathan and Shea joined the others. “I hate to break it to you, but we knew you were here when you got within twenty yards of the building. Just use the code and come on in.”
“Has there been any word from Rio?” she asked anxiously.
Nathan slid his hand along her back in an up-and-down motion. Donovan’s face softened with regret. “No, honey, I’m afraid not.”
Shea tried to hide her disappointment, but she failed miserably. His brothers all grimaced because they hated to see her sad for any reason. They all went to great lengths to treat her with the utmost care even though she improved greatly with each passing day.
“We do have some further information and we’ve also fielded a request from Resnick. Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll fill you in,” Sam said.
She smiled at Sam and then included the others in her acknowledgment before she went to sit on one of the couches. She perched on the edge and appeared serene, but Nathan could feel her nervousness as well as her deep disappointment—and worry—that Grace hadn’t been found yet.
We’ll find her, baby. We won’t stop until we bring her home to you. I promise.
Her features softened and her eyes glowed. It was like a fist to his gut how she lit up when he spoke to her telepathically. They didn’t often communicate that way in front of his family. Shea still wasn’t entirely comfortable with how well her abilities were received, but she was getting there.