She chuckled but settled bonelessly into his arms, letting out a long breath that signaled her fatigue.
“Good night, Swanny. I’m glad you’re here with me.”
He squeezed her one last time. “I’m glad too.”
CHAPTER 16
THOUGH Swanny had set the alarm on his watch, he had an internal clock that never failed him. If he knew what time he had to be up, he woke up five minutes before without fail.
He reached down to turn the alarm off, not wanting to jar Eden, who was sleeping soundly in his arms. He had five minutes before he needed to wake her up, and he intended to savor every one of those five minutes.
She was nestled in the curve of his arm, her hair spread out over his arm and the pillow. She was as beautiful in sleep as she was awake and alert. He studied her in the dim light from the bathroom, the door slightly ajar, using the opportunity to drink his fill when she was sleeping.
The straps to her top had slid down her shoulders, and it would take only the slightest movement to expose her nipple. As it was, the plump swells of her br**sts were enticingly visible, the material just catching on her ni**les so it didn’t bare her further.
She shifted and he froze, but she simply snuggled deeper into his chest, let out a soft sigh and then settled back down again.
Damn, but he hated to wake her. He could lie this way for hours, simply watching and enjoying the sight of her in bed with him.
Their limbs were tangled, one of her legs between his, and his leg thrown over her possessively, anchoring her solidly against him. No, they hadn’t made love, and he agreed that they shouldn’t rush things, but the intimacy between them was as tangible as if they had made love.
And even though they’d both agreed not to rush, he was honest enough with himself to know that she would be in his bed and he would be inside her soon. They both wanted the same thing. Their consummating their growing relationship was inevitable.
All of his earlier wariness was gone, vanished. Now that he was certain of her and her feelings, he was eager to take that next step. Because sex with Eden wouldn’t just be sex. He knew in his heart that it would be earth-shattering and that it would likely change the course of his life forever, no matter what happened between them later.
He refused to look too far down the road because their careers took them in completely separate directions. He was just focused on now and the time they would have together now. Looking beyond here and now would only bring him heartache.
They literally had to take it one day at a time and see where things took them. If they became serious, then they would simply have to find a way to be together. Love required sacrifice. He’d seen it time and time again. But where there was a will, there was a way. He had to believe that. Because if he thought too far ahead and imagined them saying good-bye and going their separate ways, it would devastate him.
He wanted nothing to interfere with what they had—and would have—now. All he could control was how they spent the time they had together. Anything beyond was out of his control, and so he had to concentrate on what was in his control: making damn certain that he gave Eden what she wanted—what he wanted—and enjoying every stolen moment together. If in the end they did go in different directions, then he’d savor every single memory of their time together and never regret a single moment. It was all either of them could do.
Knowing the quiet time he’d spent simply observing Eden unnoticed was over, he reluctantly brushed a hand over her cheek and murmured in a low voice, “Eden. Baby, it’s time to get up. We need to hit the gym in twenty minutes if we’re going to be on schedule for your shoot.”
Her eyelids fluttered open and her unfocused stare found his, and then her entire face was transformed into a heart-stopping smile that took his breath away. The idea that she found so much pleasure from being in his arms, coming awake in his arms, made his chest constrict to the point of discomfort.
“Good morning,” she said in a sleepy, husky voice.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
“Like a rock,” she admitted. “I’ve never slept better. I have you to thank for that. So thank you.”
“For what, honey?”
“For sleeping with me. For holding me. Letting me sleep in your arms. I’ve never felt as safe and secure as I did last night.”
Her frank admission twisted his stomach into knots. God, the woman was worming her way right into his very soul. She was already firmly entrenched, but every minute in her presence only strengthened the bond between them. Was this what love felt like? Was he already falling in love with her?
The practical side of him argued that it was much too soon to be making that kind of admission. But his heart and soul said very different things. That this was his woman. She belonged to him. Making love to her would simply cement what he already knew. That she was his.
He kissed her again, this time brushing his mouth over hers in a tender manner. “You’re very welcome. But I have to tell you, I’ve never slept as well either, so you did as much for me as you say I did for you. I have . . .”
He struggled with the admission on the tip of his tongue. It made him sound weak. And the last thing he wanted her to think was that he was weak.
“You have what?” she asked gently.
“Nightmares,” he said in a low voice. “There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to them. Some nights I don’t dream at all. But others I dream about being back there, of the pain and despair I felt—still feel at times.”