Fuck.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. “My god. That’s horrible.”
She nods. “You’d think it would have scared Tai from the ocean, but he still went back to being a lifeguard, still got into sailing. Sometimes I feel like he thinks he’s made some kind of bargain with the ocean, at least there have been one or two occasions where he’s gotten drunk and said something like that.”
I stare numbly at Tai as he almost reaches the boat, looking so small in the water compared to it. “He shouldn’t be doing that. It feels dangerous.”
“He’ll do it anyway. He won’t give up on that ship. Atarangi. That was his sister’s name.”
I glance at her, my eyes wide. “No… He named the boat after her?”
Lacey nods. “That’s why I said to let him be. He’s obviously going through something right now. We all are but, I think he might be taking it worse than any of us.”
“So why should I let him be? Right now he needs us.”
She gives me a wry look. “I know you don’t know him like I do, but you at least get that he’s the strong silent type who wants to be left alone. You know what happens when you get in his way. And,” she pauses, “I think you’re the last person he wants to talk to right now.”
Because this is all my fault.
I close my eyes and let the guilt wash over me. I’ve been trying to ignore it but that’s probably the worst thing you can do.
Lacey puts her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t blame you for this. Neither does Richard. Everything was a mess and accidents happen.” She nods in the direction of Tai. “But he’s going to need some time. He’s reactive even on a good day, and right now we all need to keep a clear head. So just stay clear of him, okay? Don’t meddle, don’t get in his way.”
“Just let him stay mad at me and blame me for wrecking his boat named after his dead sister? For almost getting us all killed?” I spit out indignantly.
“Yes,” she says. “Live with it and let him live with it. You’ll know when the time is right.” She starts walking off in the direction of the cliffs.
“Where are you going?” I call out after her.
“Want to see the cliffs up close,” she says. “I’m curious about the fauna growing on it.”
Ugh. I really don’t want to be alone right now, especially after what I just learned about his sister, but it seems that’s what everyone wants. Tai, Lacey, Richard, they’re all off on their own and figuring things out, and here I am not wanting to be alone with my thoughts.
At least you’re off the ship, the voice in my head speaks up, the one that so desperately wants to focus on the positive, even though there is no positive other than the fact that we’re not dead.
And yeah, at least we’re off the ship, but now we’re stuck together on what looks to be a deserted island.
Or is it?
I open up my bag, which is completely ruined and saggy, and vigorously dump the contents out onto the sand. Naturally, everything is soaked. I’ve got a pair of jean shorts, a gauzy knee-length skirt, a bikini, several pairs of clean underwear, a bra (why did I pack a bra?), a sports bra (did I think I was going to the gym?), leggings, a flannel shirt, a peasant top, a tank top, two t-shirts, flip flops, a pair of socks, a small makeup bag, a candle (what?), a paperback, nail polish, tweezers, sunscreen, a baseball cap, sunglasses, my vibrator (don’t even ask), and finally, my phone and charger in a Ziploc pouch.
The phone and charger seem to be okay. Granted, there’s no way to charge the charger but at least the phone can get one jump out of it.
Excitedly I take the phone out and turn it on.
It works!
“Yassss,” I cry out at the sight of my now familiar wallpaper, a sunset shot I took during the wedding.
But there’s no signal at all. I expected that, but I’m still disappointed.
Still, I open up the maps and try to find our location.
The GPS is slow and there’s a lot of grey grid as it tries to load. I can see the blinking blue dot, I just can’t see where it’s located.
I wait for the map to load, occasionally stealing a glance at Tai. He’s reached the boat, standing on the reef to try and get aboard. Normally I would tell someone off that’s standing on a reef because they’re damaging rare coral that may never grow back again, but he’s too far to hear me and I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate it. I’m also sure he knows that himself.