“I love ye,” he said, breaking the silence. “I love ye more den anyt’in’ or anyone on dis earth. I’ll figure dis all out. I just needed a few days, dat’s all. I just needed to get me head toget'er.”
I nodded, unsure of what would come out of my mouth if I attempted to speak.
“Don’t do dat, me love,” he said in the same tone, stepping toward me to take my hands in his. “Ye’ll make dem worse.”
I glanced down to see barely raised welts on my hands, aggravated from where I’d been rubbing them.
He pulled me into his arms then, and the comfort of his scent and his strong muscles resting against my body were impossible to ignore. I wished we could stay like that forever, safe from the rest of the world in our tiny room.
“I’ll better be off if I’m goin’ in to work,” Patrick said, pulling away slightly. He leaned down to brush my lips with his, and the heat of his mouth seemed to spread throughout my body in a large wave. He’d barely touched me in over a week, and even though the move hadn’t been sexual, it still made me a little needy. I leaned onto my toes as our lips brushed again, and when he felt me reaching, his tongue slid out nervously to lick across my bottom lip.
We moved into a sensual kiss without thought, rubbing and sucking at each other’s mouths. It wasn’t a prelude to anything, there was no urgency in it, but I don’t think anything could have been more perfect at that moment.
“Charlie and Vera will be over today,” Patrick informed me as he finally pulled away with a squeeze of my hips. “He’ll stay until I’m home tonight.”
I thought about my new best friend while I watched Patrick begin to change for work, pulling on a ratty flannel that was covered in grease stains and an old pair of jeans. I’d spent time with Vera after the night we’d met, having lunch and following her around while she shopped for souvenirs, but it hadn’t been until my life had become so out-of- control that I’d realized how deep our friendship went. She was loyal, unflaggingly so, and a car blowing up in front of my house hadn’t seemed to change her opinion of me in the slightest.
Vera acted as if it was normal. She was conscious of our grief, and helped out as much as she could, but she didn’t go overboard. She wasn’t whispering and looking over her shoulder like the neighbors had been in the days after Robbie’s death. She’d just pitched in when she could and sat with me for hours, even if I didn’t have anything to say.
She’d arrived every morning for the past week, sometimes with Charlie and other times with the big, smelly guy she’d pointed out in the pub the night we’d met. She’d stay all day, helping with chores and gossiping about movie stars while Charlie sat on the couch watching television with a silent Patrick or the big guy sat on the front stairs outside. She was just there, with no hidden agenda or preconceived ideas about us.
She was the best friend I’d ever had.
“I’m sorry I said I wished I didn’t marry you,” I said as Patrick sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots. “I’m not sorry.”
“I know yer not.” He tugged me into his lap. “I know yer scared, darlin’. Just stick wit’ me, eh? I’ll fix dis.”
“I wish you didn’t have to work today.” I laid my head on his shoulder and pressed my forehead into his neck.
“First she orders me to work and den she says she wants me to stay home,” he announced to the room, sounding like my old Patrick.
“I know, I’m all over the place lately.”
“Maybe yer pregnant?” he asked, laying his hand on my belly.
“Not this time, Mr. Gallagher. I’m just coming off my period.” It still surprised me how comfortable I was with sharing intimate details of my body with him, but it had been that way almost from the start. He knew everything about me, every curve and mole had been mapped. My body held no secrets anymore.
“We’ll have to work harder dis mont’,” he teased gently, pulling me closer.
“I’m not sure we should,” I mumbled into his neck, already sure of his reaction. “Maybe—”
“De church is very clear on birt’ control, wife.”
“It’s a stupid rule. Do you really want to bring our child into our life right now?”
“It’s not up to us to decide which rules are meant to be broken.”
“It’s my body.”
“Is it not me decision too, den?”
“Of course it is.” I sighed, annoyed that I’d even brought it up.
“I know dat I’ve not been de best man, especially in de church’s eyes,” he said into my hair, rubbing my back softly. “But I cannot agree wit’ puttin’ t’ings into yer body to stop ye from havin’ a child. Me child. To me, it would be like refusin’ a gift from God because it wasn’t convenient for us. Who’s to say dat we’d ever be offered de gift again?”
“Your reasoning is medically unsound, but I understand your point.”
“Medically unsound? Ye’ve been readin’ again, I see.”
“It’s been quiet around here.”
“I know it has.” He tightened his arms around me then tapped my back twice, signaling for me to stand up. “I’ve got to move or I’ll be late.”
He kissed me goodbye, just a quick peck on the lips, and was gone. I really did hate that he had to go to work, even though I’d been dying for him to go just an hour before. We may not have figured anything out, but I felt marginally better about things once we’d discussed them.