I shouldn’t have initiated it. The kiss shook me to my core. The shy virgin I was, I wasn’t sure how this would work. Would we kiss and let it go or would there be more? We broke apart for a mere second and Jake dove back in for more of what I gave. He took and matched me every step of the way. His hand grasping my side while the other one was holding the nape of my neck. I remember everything about our night together. When he gave and gave, before we came together. How he soothed me through my pain and brought me extreme pleasure. The way he sounded while he was inside me and the rapture that was etched on his face. It was pure heaven and I screwed it all up. Now here I am, nine months later, finally returning home.
I have a lot to atone for when it comes to Jake. We may have started off as best friends, but I can’t go back to just being friends. If I have to grovel and beg for forgiveness, I will. Jake means that much to me. But I’ll also have to admit the reason I ran away. Besides the obvious reason of me being a coward, I have to admit that after one night with Jake, I fell in love with my best friend.
I miss the way his smile lights up a room, the way he grumbles when he’s elbows deep in work, how he always makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry.
It’s plain and simple now. I ran away from not only Jake, but myself too. Now I have to go back and right the wrongs of my past and tell him the truth.
Admitting I was wrong won’t be easy for me, but it’ll be worth it in the end to tell him the truth.
I pack my car with all the belongings I’ve accumulated over the last nine months. It wasn’t a lot. Some clothes, toiletries, and a few mementos that meant the most to me. Before I left, I was renting an apartment with a friend and had her put all of my belongings in storage and paid a year in advance for the unit. Then, I looked for the smallest town I could and found a waitressing job that would let me work under the table. It wasn’t hard to find a place like that in Wyoming. I rented a room for cash monthly and I lived well within my means.
I take one last look around as I leave. The small town of Rock Springs has been a great place to live, but it’s not my home. This place, it doesn’t hold the other half of my soul.
Chapter Three
Jake
I should stop searching for Larissa, just give up. Apparently, it’s what she’s already done with our relationship. What the fuck am I saying? Maybe we were always meant to be friends.
That tightness in my chest continues to burn more and more each day. She just doesn’t want to be found. I’ve gone everywhere, the boutique she used to work at. Hell, I even went to her shithead parents’ house. When Declan suggested I use his private investigator. I balked. I had already hired three, and they couldn’t find jack shit. Finding my best friend turned lover, it was something I needed to do. We had one night of unbelievable bliss. For fuck’s sake, I took her virginity, never anticipating her being a saving that at the age of twenty-four. Once I knew I was her first, I wanted to be her last. Fuck that, as soon as I find her, I’m going to be her last.
I return to my computer when an alert pops up, letting me know I have a new email. I finally did what Declan said a month ago. I hired the private investigator he suggested. He hit the ground running. It still took him a month. A fucking month, but he told me he had a few leads that he was looking into and that he’d keep me posted.
When I see the email with Terry Smith, the private investigator’s name, my stomach bottoms out. Sure, I’m a thirty-year-old man, but not having Larissa around, it’s like the other half of my heart is missing.
I read over the report. It’s stating where she’s been and where she’s been working. I’m about to take the next jet out of here. My one and only thought is getting to Larissa as fast as I fucking can.
I slam my laptop shut and push out of my chair, grabbing my keys and phone on the way out of the office.
I’m going to find Larissa, maybe wring her neck, kiss her breathless, or fuck her to death.
My phone ringing stops me in my tracks.