And as responsible as he felt about the accident, every doctor they’d visited had emphasized that Sonya’s hearing loss couldn’t be attributed to it. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell Jess she might be right on that score. Just as he couldn’t bring himself to fully believe it.
Dear heavens. He hadn’t thought about any of this with any great depth. Didn’t want to do so now. How had they even started along this path?
Finally, Jess broke the silence. “You never answered me.”
Jordan felt a tingle of trepidation in his chest. He wasn’t sure how much more of a heart-to-heart he could take right now. “About what?”
“Whether you want me to address the online activity.”
The sudden change in topic threw him off and it took some effort to try and redirect his focus.
“Should I post something?” she asked.
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Are you sure? It can’t look good for you.”
Leave it to her to be concerned about his reputation when hers was the one being publicly ridiculed. “It’s all right, Jess. I have people working on it. You don’t have to do anything personally.”
“What kind of people?”
“Pros whose job it is to track and try and influence social media.”
“Huh. What exactly are they doing?”
He gave her a small shrug. “A handful of responders to the tabloids were complimentary toward you. Some admired your resourcefulness. Others pointed out you were setting a good example about reusing.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “They did?”
“My people are making sure those posts out-trend the less flattering ones.”
“Huh.”
“I just wanted you to be aware of it. So that you didn’t find out the hard way after going online.”
“I see.” She stood and stretched out her legs. Jordan followed. “Well, I should get back to those binders. It’s going to take me all afternoon to figure out where the budget should be cut.”
“Can I help in any way?”
Jess shook her head. “Part of the problem is that Clara keeps everything on paper hard copies. Not that we could afford a computer system anyway.”
They slowly made their way back through the tall grass. They’d just gone over a lot of territory. He needed some time to process. Besides, she had work to do cutting a budget.
An idea occurred to him just then. Maybe she wouldn’t need to slash the center’s budget, after all.
* * *
Jess shut the door of her classroom behind her and leaned back against it taking deep breaths. She had no idea how long she’d stood there. But it was going to be near impossible to try and focus on numbers and budgets after Jordan’s visit. Her concentration would be shot as she replayed their conversation over and over in her mind.
Not to mention the way he’d touched her, first with a finger down her cheek and then as he’d held her hand tight on the bench. She’d been intimate with the man and—though that intimacy had touched something deep within her soul—his mere gentle caresses could be just as affecting.
Oh, dear. She had it bad. She was in really deep.
And she hadn’t even seen it coming. No wonder she was so woefully unprepared. Because all she wanted to do right now was to crumple to the floor and cry.
She’d somehow fallen head over heels for Jordan Paydan. And he was nowhere near ready to let her in. Not judging by the conversation they’d just had. Her heart would probably never recover.
The whole situation was impossible. She had no doubt Jordan wanted her still—as much as he had that night in New York. That much was obvious in the way he’d looked at her just now before he left. And it was obvious in the way he’d kept touching her. Jess knew she just only had to say the word and they’d have a replay of the night they shared. Her whole life had been spent trying to achieve a sense of emotional grounding and stability. Her quest for such stability had driven her once to pursue the wrong career and into the arms of the wrong man when she’d agreed to wed Gary. No, at this point in her life, she couldn’t bring herself to have a meaningless fling.
And Jordan had made it blatantly clear than he wanted nothing more.