The answer came in the form of yet another question: Would she ever forgive herself if she didn’t take the chance?
Every moment she’d spent with Jordan was vividly ingrained in her memory. Everything that had happened between them in Manhattan would be forever etched in her brain.
Suddenly, Jess knew exactly what she wanted to create. She pulled the sketch pad back out and flipped it to a fresh page. Then she began to draw.
* * *
This was probably a mistake.
Jordan nearly turned away from Jess’s door without knocking. The last time he’d given her a bouquet seemed like ages ago. In that instance she’d promptly informed him that he’d overdone it.
The bouquet he held today was much less extravagant. A simple bundle of pink roses. He probably should have had them delivered by the florist rather than showing up at her apartment himself. But he wanted to see her in person.
Without allowing any more thought, he rapped lightly on the door, which opened within moments. A very surprised Jess stood on the other side.
“Jordan?”
“Hey. Hope I’m not intruding.”
She gave her head a small shake. “What are you doing here?” Her gaze dropped to the roses he held in his hand. “More flowers?”
“Apology roses this time. Just one solitary bouquet.”
She stepped to the side and gestured with her arm. “Please, come in.”
He handed her the roses as he passed by.
“They’re lovely,” she said and inhaled deeply of the floral scent. “I’ll just put these in water.”
When she returned a few moments later, Jordan was still debating exactly what he wanted to say and how he might say it.
They’d had such an easy camaraderie during the trip to New York City. They’d spent the night locked in each other’s arms as close as two people can be. Yet, now here he was, at a loss for words.
“You’re going to make Ray down at the nursery very happy and wealthy if you keep apologizing with flowers.” She set the vase down on a wooden side table and came to stand before him.
“He mentioned the pink roses were very popular.”
Jess merely nodded with a tight smile. Jordan resisted the urge to swear out loud. The conversation between them was so strained, so unnatural. He knew every inch of her body, but he didn’t know how to talk to her.
He had to try. And he had to start with the very subject he’d been trying to avoid. Jordan cleared his throat.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. That Sonya needs my time and attention.” He released a deep sigh, unsure exactly how to continue. “It occurs to me that I can’t really provide her with those things until I face what happened.”
He wasn’t surprised when she guessed immediately what he was referring to. “Jordan, you have to forgive yourself. Sonya’s hearing loss is not your fault.”
He couldn’t help himself. He had to touch her. Putting his hands on her waist he pulled her closer, rested his forehead against hers. “I might need some help with that.”
He felt her exhale in his arms. The scent of her surrounded him, her warmth as comforting as a lazy summer morning. “What kind of help?” she asked.
Jordan grasped for just the right words. Pulling back slightly, he focused on those bright hazel eyes he’d grown so fond of. “I’ve realized I need you by my side as I come to terms with it all.”
“You have?” she asked on a stutter.
“Without a doubt. Don’t you see, Jess?”
She sucked in her bottom lip and he almost lost focus. “See what?”
“You’re the reason I want to try.”
Shock widened her eyes. “I am?”
“Yes. I want you to be there to see that I can handle raising a little girl. That I have what it takes to be a strong figure in her life. I’ll never be her father, but I can be the parental figure she needs. Until you came along, I wasn’t sure I was up to the challenge. I’d convinced myself that I’d already failed beyond redemption.”
She immediately countered that statement with a vehement shake of her head, her thick, wavy hair bouncing around her shoulders. “You haven’t. Not in the least.”