I’m angry that her life ended before I could question her. I hate that no one will ever understand how she could have taken three lives so easily. I should feel relieved she’s gone, that she can’t harm anyone else, but the detective in me hates that she will never face a jury and answer for the crimes she committed. I hate even more that I was the cause of all of it.
“You need to sleep,” Anna whispers into the dark, and I dip my chin down toward her, wondering how I didn’t notice she was awake when these days my body is completely tuned in to hers. I know when she walks into a room I’m in or when she leaves; I know what her mood is, just by her tone; and I can tell if something is on her mind just by observing her.
“I’m okay.” I kiss her forehead, beyond grateful that I can, when there were hours while she was in surgery when I wondered how I would survive if she didn’t.
“You say that, but I know you aren’t. You haven’t been sleeping much the last few weeks since I’ve been home.” She gets up on an elbow and places her face close to mine. “Do you want to talk about whatever it is that’s on your mind?”
“No,” I say, knowing I never want her to be up thinking about the shit that plagues me in the dark.
“I’m okay—I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” Her voice is soft as she places her hand on my chest.
“I know, baby. I just need time to forget how close I came to losing you.”
Without a word, she slides her hand down my stomach to cup me through my boxers. “Maybe I need to remind you that you didn’t lose me and that we are both alive.” She straddles my thighs, then slides over me, and the heat of her pussy brushes my skin, making me harder than I already was. When she’s kneeling between my legs, she moves her hand up my stomach, and my muscles tighten in anticipation.
“What are you doing, baby?”
“Going to help you remember.” She kisses my stomach, then pulls the elastic of my boxers down, and I lift my hips to help her.
My cock springs free, and she wraps her hand around the base, then slides it up to the tip slowly. “Don’t tease me, baby,” I growl, weaving my fingers into the hair at the side of her head. I see her smile before she licks the head, making my hips jerk in response. “Anna.”
“Calvin.” She places me against her tongue, then takes me into her mouth, using suction as she deep-throats me.
“Jesus.” My head falls back to the pillow, and my eyes squeeze shut.
“You okay, Detective Miller?” There’s a hint of a smile in her voice as she uses her hand, twisting and pulling hard as she jerks me off.
“Don’t play with me, Anna,” I hiss.
“What are you going to do?” she asks, then takes me fully into her mouth once more, so deep that I hit the back of her throat. I feel her shift as she sucks me off, and when I lose her hand, I know she’s touching herself. I flip on the lamp, not wanting to miss a moment.
“Come here,” I order, wanting her taste, and she shakes her head, never faltering in her manipulation of my cock with her hand and mouth. “Are you sinking your fingers into your pussy?” She nods. “I want a taste of that. Give me your fingers,” I say, and she hesitates a moment, then brings her hand up, and I take her wrist and suck her fingers into my mouth, making her whimper around my cock. “I want more. Come up here and give it to me.”
She releases me from her mouth, keeping her hand moving. “I want to take care of you.”
“Then give me what I want,” I say, and she crawls up my body to straddle my hips.
I skim my hand up her side and cup her breast.
“I want you inside me.” She lowers her face toward mine, and I lean up, taking her mouth in a deep kiss, and then roll her to her back and pull away. “Calvin.”
“You want me?”
“Yes.”
“I want you too.” I circle her neck, then slowly move my hand down between her breasts, over her stomach, and between her legs, listening to her breath escalate. I skim her clit, and her nails dig into my shoulders. “You’re so wet, Anna.” I thrust two fingers inside her and she moans, pressing her hips down and taking more. I slide my fingers in and out of her slowly and circle her clit with my thumb, listening to her whimper. I lick and nip her throat, then pause to manipulate her breast with my tongue and teeth. When she’s on the verge of orgasm, I flip her to her stomach, then wrap my arm around her waist to lift her up so that she’s kneeling in front of me. She rests her head back against my shoulder, and her hands cover mine, even as I move up to cup her breast. “I love you,” I whisper against the skin of her neck, and she turns to look at me.