He dropped an arm over his face and closed his eyes. “That should not be so good.” Nothing should feel that good.
She laughed and the sound vibrated against his skin. “Because I’m Holt’s sister?”
Shane lifted his arm and stared down into her flushed face. “Because much more of that and I’ll need a hospital.”
“Challenge accepted.” She leaned her head against his chest again.
This he could handle. The hot during and quiet after. He’d never really experienced the combination before. He loved feeling frenetic and out of control, but this, the part where he combed his fingers through her hair and drifted off to sleep, was new.
He never talked about this, but with her the temptation proved stronger than his will to put it all behind him. “Losing my marriage doubled me over.”
She stiffened against him. “Do you miss her?”
“That’s not what I mean.” He didn’t know how to explain and worried that even if he managed to put the right words together he might still sound like a jerk. “I liked the idea of being married.”
She lifted her head and rested her chin on her hand. “I don’t get it.”
“Marriage meant family and security. It meant I managed to accomplish something.” But he couldn’t hold it together. “But I failed, and it knocked me off stride. I kept thinking that the divorce said something about who I was.”
“You married the wrong person. That’s all.” She pressed her other palm against his chest. “You guys both wanted an out, but that’s not enough. Marriage as escape can only go so far if there’s nothing fundamental holding it up.”
“You can’t deny that the danger of my job is a huge stumbling block to anything long term and meaningful.”
She nodded. “You better tell Connor and his wife. Talk to all the other guys on the team and explain that the love they feel now means nothing and that they should run.”
“Okay, I get—”
“And then call my brother and tell him to leave Lindsey on the West Coast.” Makena made a face. “He shouldn’t waste his time building a life with her.”
She made it sound so easy. So did the guys on the team. You fell, you accepted it and you tried to minimize the risks. It helped if you found a woman strong enough and determined enough to stand up and face the danger on her own terms.
“You should have been a lawyer.” Because she made it all sound possible.
“I’m happy right here.” She kissed his chest. “With you.”
“I’m sorry you heard about the Tyler suspicions like that, with Cam and Connor standing right there.” He rubbed a thumb over her forehead, then down her nose to her mouth. “I wanted to give you that information in pieces.”
“I’m pretty tough, you know.” She raked her nails over his nipple, lightly but enough to get the nerves underneath jumping.
He flattened her hand under his. “Toughest woman I know.”
“That’s probably an overstatement.”
“Not at all.” He shook his head. “The woman I’ve been watching has handled every awful thing thrown her way and kept standing. She’s overcome her fear and stood up to Jeff, who is a guy no woman should have to deal with.”
“We should call Holt.”
Shane hadn’t been expecting that conversation change. “Really?”
“If I can handle gunmen, I can handle an overprotective brother with a list of questions to ask.”
“You’re tougher than I am.” Shane dreaded Holt’s reaction. They knew so much about each other. Shane couldn’t hide or smooth over anything. Holt would know exactly what kind of man wanted his sister, and Shane did not see that as a good thing. “But you’re right. It’s time.”
“You’re going to admit we’ve been sharing a bed?” She whistled. “Brave man.”
“I think the word dating sounds less likely to get me killed.” But not by much. Holt had made it clear Makena was off-limits. If Shane wanted to bumble around, sleep with other women and never get serious, Holt was fine with that, but Makena could not be another number.
She wasn’t.
Her eyes widened. “Is that what we’re doing?”
Good question. He honestly didn’t know. “We can use whatever word you want. I just know I don’t want it to end.”
He’d finally said it. Admitted it to himself and to her. The walls didn’t crumble and the earth didn’t open up and swallow him. He’d survived the truth, that being a lone wolf grew exhausting as the days passed, and with her he wanted more.